I feel like it's all my fault? :-(?
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Notice that none of these people didn't say they had expirience, they keep saying it's not your fault. You sound about my age. Middle School/ Junior High, right?
PLEASE READ THIS.
I used to cut, even to the bad point, I have friends who have and do cut, to the bad point. You knew. I know. You didn't say anything. I don't say anything. You know why cutters don't want you to say anything?
Because we're scared.
Plain and simple, we've all had bad lives, we all have something to say, but it only come out as cuts on our wrists.
And when we form words, it's usually something we regret.
We don't want professionals, we don't want to talk about it.
You don't need a professional or any kind of medicine.
You could've said something, and maybe you should've. But, in the end, it might not have even mattered.
She most likely would've kept a razor or two, something sharp at least, just in case. She most likely might've been more stresssed.
Knowing someone will still care for you even for what you've done, such as cutting, or killing yourself.it cancels out everything except happiness and relief.
And you know what? She might not've told you this, because of what she was thinking about, but you still thinking of her, and maybe taking the blame, shows you still care. And she's happy for that. She loves you to pieces and wishes you best of luck. She's sorry for what she has done, and she knows it won't happen again, to you. Don't you ever forget that.
Other Answers:
it is not your fault but you may want to get some counseling to help you deal with the pain of losing your friend.
i would talk to someone about it.maybe your mom or a professional.but it is not your fault counseling can only help. i recommend everybody get counseling. you cannot control your friends actions however if you want to help your friend it's important to tell someone who CAN help her like your parents, her parents, a teacher or trusted adult.
u shouldnt feel bad, it isnt ur fault she cut herself.
Aww honey. First of all, I am soo sorry for your loss. But you can not keep feeling guilty about this. Don't make yourself feel bad for the mistakes of your friend. I would suggest that you do get counseling. I'll pray for you and God bless you sweetie.
You might want to talk to a counselor but the truth is you did nothing wrong. She did this to herself. its not your fault. definately get counseling, it will help you & your loss of your friend
Its not your fault honey. I had the same problem once - except I did try and get her help. She got extremely mad at me, didn't talk to me for the rest of her (short) life. She went to rehab but still ended up killing herself. I know its hard and YES you do need to see a counsler. They will help. They helped me. If you need any other advice, please feel free to email me. I am so sorry for your loss, but try to understand, it is NOT your fault.
Oh no no no, its not your fault! No, you do not need medicine, you may need some counceling.Just.tell youself either way you would have felt bad..if you would have told, she might have gtten mad at you, and you'd have felt bad for telling..now you're blaming yourself..honey..its not your fault..sorry to say..its hers, really
It is not your fault. No one could stop her but herself. But you need to get some counceling yourself before you get so upset that you do something to yourself. Yes, you need to go to a counselor.I am sorry you had to go through this but want to thank you for putting on this site.I know there are at least two cutters on here and I hope they read this.
Why not go to counseling it can help you in more ways than you may think. It did for me anyways. I was able to actually lift a lot of weight off my chest from going. And quit blaming yourself. It's not your fault it's only hers. She was the one who was doing the cutting and not you.
Yes you do need to talk to a professional about this. It's normal to feel guilty about things when someone close to you dies, but you have to have someone to talk to about it that can help you out.
You might want to start with some counceling. Though I gotta say, a suicidal person is stubborn. It would have happened even if you did tell someone. COUNSELLING IS GOOD IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION.AND ALSO U SHOULD DO A LOT OF CHARITY TO EASE URSELF
Self-blame is a common cause of depression and migraines. It is the result of your feeling responsible for something that happend because you indirectly did something. Let me give you some examples from actual therapy experience.
1. A man had bought his young son a motorbike. The son was killed in an accident. He blamed himself and went into depression.
2. A woman had sent her son to the store for some food and he was killed in an accident on the way.
3. A woman was with her boyfriend at the beach and she wanted to come back to town (Portland) while he preferred to stay at the beach longer. On the way back they had an accident and he was killed.
4. A woman's parent had died in a distant city. She blamed herself that she hadn't gone to see her as often as she should have.
5. A parent died and the woman blamed herself for not having gotten her mother a better doctor.
6. A woman had spent over $50,000 on her migraines (some 15 years ago) which were cured with a little analysis. The family was on an outing where there was a sandpit (with water in it) and one of the children had strayed away and was drowned. The husband laid a heavy guilt on her (which she accepted) for having let the child out of her sight. Result? Migraines as self punishment. Cured when the cause was brought to light.
These are typical. A lot of this happens on the battlefield at wartime. Men, in general, won't admit to their feeling about buddies who died in battle that they feel somewhat responsible for.
Same for pets. Dog got loose. Should have kept the cat in. Didn't go to the vet soon enough. And with the death of any family member, there is the opportunity to blame yourself for contributing to the early death. Maybe you accidentally killed a wild animal, or someone's pet.
Looking at this rationally, you have to admit that grieving isn't helping the dead thing or person one single bit. When you are sad, that makes you not pleasant for others to be around. Some people feel they must grieve and show it. Why? To satisfy others? What sense does that make?
A much better solution is to rid yourself of the guilt by rationalization, if it wasn't a criminal act, and get on with your life. It's over with. Done. Accept that.
The exercise that follows is meant to tell your subconscious mind, where emotions come from, to cut off the guilt feelings. If you really want that to happen, it will happen. You can't continually relive the past trauma and be a happy person. You owe it to the people you associate with to be happy, as well as to yourself. So do the little exercise that follows and see what happens. Have in mind the person or animal that died or the incident in mind that causes your depression while I give you the audio message. If it's a big release for you, you may immediately feel it release tension just below the breastbone or a part of your body will twitch.
Click the link to do the exercise.
yes you need counsiling to deal with her death .. it's hard to deal with the thought and I understand . just go to counsiling and hopefully it'll help you .
You've been through something really tough. While I know (and I bet you do too) it's not your fault, I bet I would feel the same way.
Yes, I think talking with a counselor could be a big help. They don't tell you what to think or how to feel, they help you figure out how to do what's best for you.
In the future, because of this experience, you may actually be in a position to help other people. Either you will convince them to tell, just from knowing you, or perhaps you may even do some kind of volunteer work with kids or cutters.
But right now, you need to be kind to yourself and get some help sorting out your feelings. Things like this kind of guilt can eat away at you if not dealt with, and that will make you unable to help anyone, even yourself.
If your parents don't want to send you to a counselor, start with the school nurse or psychologist, They'll help you find someone you can talk to.
Good luck and gentle healing.
its not your fault true you knew and could have done something but even if you had done something she would always find new reasons to if she seriously wanted to. Never blame yourself it isn't healthy but learn from her mistake and do some good with it by helping someone else in need. Well you should've told an adult, but thats okay, it's over, just get over it with some counseling
you cannot find youself responsible for the unfortunate things that other people do to themselves. It sounds like your freind was very unhappy, and would have done this whether she ever knew you or not, even if you would have told someone, she would have done it, it's what she wanted(needed) to do, even if she had but put somewhere to keep her from harming herself, she probably would have found a way, It's not your fault. Remember her as your friend! and try to get along with your own life.
Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry about your friend!
Well it's not your fault because you weren't the one cutting her.
But you also didn't tell anybody. Why didn't you? If you would have told somebody she probably still would of passed away because of the amount of blood she lost.
Why did she cut herself anyway? Was she crazy? i'm sorry but I don't think it was really your fault.
Firstly, condolences..sorry u lost a friend esp this way and at such a young age.
To answer ur qt..
Yes you do need counselling..you just went thru a traumatic exp.. hindsight is 20/20 they say and so it is..
Its a pity tht u didnt realise how real the signs were but you r not a psychologist to know these things for sure.. I always say/beleive neva doubt when someone threatens suicide or the likes bc u jus neva know and in any case they need help even if it is to sort out a small problem..
But past is past ..there not much tht can b done abt tht..by u lving in the past n thinkin wht if and if i did this or tht..ull jus drive urself mad and not change anything..
The best thing you can do for urself and for ur late friend is to learn from this exp and ensure it neva happens again to u or any1 u know..
Maybe in time u can help people in these situations..not now but once uve healed
Bc now u hurting n u need to deal wth these emotions, the loss of a friend and feelins of guilt.. u need to move past it, u need to get on wth ur life.. not taken big leaps but dealin wth each day at a time.. moving from one moment to the next. i know how deeply it must hurt u..so open up to ur loved ones.. bc this is something u need support for
Pray for guidance and strngth to overcome this huge pain, God listens and answers prayers.
I hope in time the wounds though they are very raw now will heal and despite the obvious tragedy and heart break i hope some good will stem from it.
God bless n take care.. email anytime if u eva need some1 to talk to..
PS: Jus remember.. though you feel like you should have done something more.. (i know wht u mean) ultimately we are responsible for our own actons
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