how can i love this baby when the father has made me feel so worthless?

Question:

Answers:
It's not about the father. It's about the baby. The baby has done nothing wrong and will love you almost no matter what you do. It will depend on you for almost everything. Taking care of that child will give you a sense of self worth.

Other Answers:
the baby didn't choose to be here and the baby is part of you, so how can he be worthless, and you will mean more to that baby than anybody else so you will be worth alot to him/her. So what the father was an *ss, you should still be able to love your own flesh and blood.

give the baby for adoption so it can be raised with a mom and dad who will love it... thats honestly the best thing to do for yourself and the baby

People can only make you feel worthless with your permission. The baby had nothing to do with that, and is not responsible for anything the father did to you. If you don't want the child, put it up for adoption - there are many, many people who would love to have a baby to love and raise. If you're not one of them (and there's nothing wrong with that if you are), you can get help to find someone who is.

because the baby is innocent and should not be unloved. You are not wothless, you are going to be a role model to this little boy or girl and give it all the love it needs, and if you can't do that there are plenty of childless couples who would love to raise the baby and give it a good home. good luck.

Do a google search on "keeping a rapist's child". Read many of the hits that comeback. Although you don't indicate you have been raped, the dynamics are similar.

If after reading this material, you don't think you can freely love your child, then arrange for an adoption. You owe it to an innocent child to offer him/her unconditional love. If you can not do this because of your past, there are many people out there who can.

Sorry you are in this situation, but "the father" is obviously a selfish bas*tard. Try not to be like him now. Think of your baby first, not of yourself.

Good luck ...

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Look at the child as a seperate person who has no connection to him-other than physical. this child is a part of you. If you are no longer with the father you can raise him/her to be a good person.

Damn!
Now you are breaking my heart.
I'm sorry I made jokes at your pain.

Wow,You in the dumps. If there is anything I have learned about life it is that its constantly changing.

Because the father is nobody. If you havent already gotten rid of him, do it. You are not worthless and dont ever let anyone make you feel small. You will love your baby because he or she is yours, growing inside you, relying on you for survival, and when you finally meet for the first time, you'll feel the love. Don't think of the baby in relation to the father, think of him/her as the only good thing he gave you...someone to love and be loved by unconditionally for the rest of your life.

do not let him get into your head. prove to him you can stand on your own two feet. my moms did it with two kids. you can too. and stand up for yourself. you need to be strong so you can raise this child. your worth is from God only. He loves you and will guide you thru life's miseries. so do not lose hope.

because its YOUR baby just because it will have some similar DNA as its dads doesn't mean it it will be anything like its father especially if the father is not around when its growing up. maybe your just not a natural mum and if you feel you cant love your own baby which you decided to have you should give it to someone who will love it its a baby it doesn't deserve to have a mother who isn't prepared to love it

You are placing the blame on the wrong person. Your baby has nothing to do with how its father has treated you. If he hasmade you feel worthless, kick him out of your life, so that you can give yourself and your baby a chance at happiness.

And why is this the baby's fault you idiot?

Has made you feel worth less than who. I think you kown what you can do with that BS he's put into you about you. Baby love is something completely different. Don't confuse the two.

go on to www.dmlive.com the guy who does the radio show helps a lot

This has nothing to do with the baby. I was with someone who made me feel worthless and had his daughter. She is now 10 and couldn't imagine life without her. I have been with someone (and married) since she was 2 weeks old. That was the best thing that happened because I now look back at her "LOSER" biological father and see how much further he could have brought me down. Love your baby and you will find someone that will treat you and your baby a lot better.

Good luck

plz dont take ur anger for the father out on the baby. so the father was an a$$hole, ur baby has no choice. be kind and loving to the babe and, if it will make u feel better, get the bouncer at the bar to beat ur xbf senseless. it will be relieving and fun to watch!!
good luck!

u have to figure that out for your self but rember, your baby isnt going to be like its father. just make sure u raise it with the proper values and even though the father might make u feel like crap try not to accidently take it out on ur kid. if the dad makes u really miserable leave him and take ur baby. trust me u might think its better to stay with the dad so ur kid has a father but he might be a bad influence so if u think u'd be better off without him and be a better mom then leave and take ur kid. in the long run you'll think back and either wish u had left or wished u hadn. only u can make that descision. ask family and freinds to help u decide. and evn thought it seems like u dont love ur kid right now and u might feel gultiy about that dont cause deep down inside no matter what you'll always love ur kid

You have asked the question, its fine but can you quit loving your baby because of his/her father ? Definately NO. And if still you can quit, you are suffering from some mental disease.
A mother is a mother. Even though, im am man, i will like to say here that Man can quit, Mother can never.

that baby is an innocent child who deserves love and attention from its mother you do not need a man in your childs life that makes you feel worthless that only means he will make the baby feel worthless be a better person and a great mom you have a chance that alot of women don't have in life believe me i have two kids with an a**hole and he only sees one of them when he wants, but i just remember that, that baby is apart of me and i am going to take advantage of that and do the best that i can raising that baby with all the love i have if takes all i got you will feel better about yourself once you loose him if ever need to talk to anyone i know what your going through do not hesitate to contact me at tab_cat02@yahoo.com or get some counseling good luck and remember that you already gave that baby life now give it the best one you can

There are hundreds of couples out there that are financially & psychologically ready for a baby. I'm with CF, give the baby up to somone who's ready for a baby. Babies are warm, sweet, & innocent... they have smiles that light up a room. Don't bring the baby into a home that is full of chaos, and instability. They deserved to be loved, nurtured, & treated like the angels they are.

it is not the baby's fault please don't make the baby suffer for the father's mistakes be a wonderful mother to your baby and at the end you will be proud of yourself. My father has put my mother through hell and she still loved me and she never made me pay for his mistakes and she is the best and when your child says that to u you'll know that u made the right decision but if you treat that baby wrong all i can tell u is that being hated by your own child will hurt badley

How can you question your love for YOUR child over the way a man has made you feel? I do not mean that in a mean way...really. I suppose I am quite taken aback by the question. I have a child and yes i am married to her father but regardless of how he makes me feel i cannot see myself questioning the love i have for her. (I have not been in your situation, i have had friends in similar situations, therefore, i cannot say without a doubt what i would do or how i would feel).

Mother and child have a bond that no one else shares. You carried that child for almost 10 months, you felt the first movements, you heard the heartbeat for the first time, you saw a living itty bitty human being growing in black and white on a screen trying to picture what he/she will look like and what he/she will be like, as well as who they will become.

I honestly think you need to go back to your doctor and tell him/her how you feel. I am not saying that is the answer but that is a starting point.

You could also sit and write down all the things that you are and do to let yourself know that you are not worthless. Please do not think that you cannot think of anything, there is something. Look at your list and remind yourself that A: you are not worthless; B: you have a baby that needs you (one idea to put on your list); C: other people's opinion of you is not important; D: you DESERVE to be treated with respect and your feelings DO matter (I know this one can be tough, but it is the truth.) Try to remember to count your blessings, even when it is hard to think of them or to find them.

Oh, and God thinks you have a worth and a purpose. That is the the only opinion you need to care about.

You need to realize the baby's father is an idiot and a fool. He is the one that is horrible, not you, ok?

You need to realize that God loves you so much that if you were the only person on the earth, He still would have sent His only Son to die for you so that He could have you in Heaven with you forever.

And God loves the baby that much as well. God will help you get over this slump you're having in your self-esteem, and He will show you that you are infinitely valuable to Him, so valuable His Son paid the highest possible price for you, His own life.

You can't be worthless, that's impossible, and you need to see that.

The baby's father is evil, so ignore most of what he says, ok??

Get some people around you who are positive and speak the truth, and stop listening to the lies of the baby's father.

It certainly is not the baby's fault!

Realize that you have the chance to raise the baby to be the most wonderful thing that has happened to you, and to prove that you can make a wonderful mother and that you are not worthless. and that there is this little thing so small that you get to raise and that looks up to you for so much, Your going to be the one he or she depends on to live.

I hope you can find a way to love the baby, because you may not realize it but you are the only person that baby has. look at him or her smile listen to there laugh and realize that, that baby was in you and you are the reason that he or she is alive.

the baby has nothing to do with the way the father has treated you...it will have its own looks and personality..that as a baby has done nothing wrong...

Easy, when you look into YOUR baby's eyes that will be all it takes! You had an *** of a man give you the greatest gift in the world. If you need to talk, contact me. Your baby will be the biggest gift you have ever been given! Good luck hon!

simply try and remember you are not worthless. you are an amazing young woman who happens to have been blessed with a child.
so the father of that child is a worthless piece of slime and should be ejected into space an a billion little pieces for abandoning you when you need him the most. remember not all of us guys are like that.
as for loving the baby when he or she comes, this will or at least should just happen naturally as you interact and bond with your child you will grow to love him or her more than life itself (or so I'm led to believe), you will soon forget how the child's father used and mentally abused you in your hour of need.

you need a hug from someone close, your mom or dad may be.
if you were in my neighborhood I'd offer you my shoulder to come and cry on.
so the next best thing is to offer my email in box and say write me and tell me what is going on. and if i can I'll help as best i can.

I am not clear on the whole situation. However, how could you let yourself get pregnant to a man that makes you feel unworthy?? This baby did not ask to be here and if you feel already you cannot love it..Give the baby to someone who will..That is the greatest gift you could give that baby...Its called being unselfish...

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how can i love this baby when the father has made me feel so worthless?

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