How can you deal with a chronic rage problem that comes from abuse,trauma from the past, but also you think?
Question:
ive been treated horrendously by alot of people through my life,
been victimized, abused and bullied. plus ive had an idea for along time that their are people that are against me, working against me, preventing me living my life and achieving my goals..
the psychiatrist told me it wasnt paranoia but a distrust of people because of what theyd put me through.
im 30 now, have bpd borderline, and im waiting for therapy.
i live alone in a one bedroom apartment, on welfare, feeling extremely low and isolated from the world. ive never made any friends or had a girlfriend.
high have high levels of anxiety constantly, my moods are constantly shifting from ok one minute to extremely low & dispairing the next. i keep myself locked away..because i have these intense rage feelings and i feel people are out to get me outside.plus i dont wanna have an outburst if im out.
does anyone know what type of help can help me overcome this?
im 30
Answers:
You are keeping yourself locked in a cage by your negative thought patterns. Your life is hard, but everybody has problems, some worse or better than yours. What defines one's life is how you tackle those problems. Try to think about what YOU can do to improve your life. Nobody is going to do it for you, very few people have the time these days to care about others' problems, as their lives are so busy and complicated. You are definted not by how you act in times of prosperity, but by how you get out of your lows. I am not judging you, just talking from experience. Think about what I said. I hoped I've helped a bit and sorry if I don't sound more positive. You must work on forgiving those who have done you wrong. It will set you free. Resentment is an unnecessary burden and gives those you resent power over you.
PS You could suffer from Bipolar Disorder (extreme mood swings). Don't think taking medication is a sign of weakness. If your psychiatrists says you must try it, you should. It will help you cope better with your life, even if it's just until things get better.
If you still feel this way after consulting your psychiatrist, you need to see a different one. There are many medications out there for people suffering from bi-polar, i.e. abilify. Some therapy from a psychologist might help you learn how to cope with your past. I'm sorry life has been hard for you...
I have been through a very similiar experience & I know how painful this is & how ugly these people are...
you have a good psychologist who believes you & doesn't say you're paranoid...I guess you can't trust everyone, but people have to earn our trust by their behaviour..trust onlt those who you FEEL you can trust, trust your gut feeling..
that is not to say all people are untrustworthy, but be very selective..
the only thing that has helped me is to ask God to put His white Light of the Holy Spirit around me (like a bubble of white light, like the one Dorothy had in Wizard of Oz!) & to ask that nothing can enter in & out of this bubble but love.
I do this every morning & in the evening before going to bed, say: I ask the white light of the Holy Spirit to suround me & to absorb all my fears & phobias & any negativity I might have carried over from any life time. (please please do this for one week, & see if you feel any different, you have nothing to lose by trying...).
also, surround yourself with mirrors, imagine you're in a kaleidospcope of mirrors & that it refelcts back anything that wants to harm you but only lets in love & light.(as soon as I did this, these people left me alone considerably, & the more I do it, the more I deflect them away from me & my life).
you have to walk away from such people & have nothing to do with them, they're evil (I'm sorry but it's true)..
If you seem to be up against a force that is higher than you, a kind of bad luck that is more than circumstantial. It's bad luck driven by an intelligent negative force that controls certain events in your life
Someone once said, "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." The inference here is obviously that you would never fight an enemy you think doesn't exist." So
I know we'll be alright in the end & that nothing can harm our God centre because we're all God in essence & are born of God.(who else has made us?)..
put all your faith & hope in God, let His power into you & rely on Him for everything. Ask Him to protect you from these people & to take them out of your life...if He doesn't respond (which I promise you He won't, becos you're His child & he loves you so much you can't imagine), then just say Thy Will Be Done...
you are a very sensitive person & you have to protect yourself (by the exercises I mentioned above), this world is too harsh for us sometimes...
I know how tough it is, how difficult & painful, I've been through it also for about 6 years, & it seems like it has been forever & to also feel that nobody helped me or even knew about it, let alone belive me made it that much more hurtful.
but it's ok, I can take it.I'll come out stronger becos of it & so will you with God's help...rememebr with God's help., all is possible!
Ever consider taking up BOXING or any type of Martial Arts? Personally, BOXING was the GREATEST thing I ever did. I also took up reading REAL NON-fiction books and this has changed my life on so many levels! In boxing I was able to blast the music that represented alot of hostility(eminem) and I could hear all the things that mad me so mad and through the music and striking the bag I could kick yell and beat the **** out of anyone...I also could SAY what I wanted to say and NOT have to hear them run their mouths and say stupid BS!! Reading allowed me to not only EDUCATE myself but also STIMULATE my MIND instead of allowing them to CONTROL ME! In my adolesence I can't tell you how many times I considered taking my own life but I realized if I were to do this they would WIN and I am NOT about to let them win and today and throughout the YEARS since,I am NOT about to let them win nor CONTROL ME!! ITS MY LIFE just like No Doubt says in their song! I want to be a much better person then they have been and I see that things happen because we are each to go down different paths and find our MEANING! The SIGNS ARE EVERYWHERE!! Should you be serious and want to discover your meaning,I will help you!
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