My friend has lost her boyfriend to death, she is sooo low?
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If you can buy the book- It is called "Good Grief". I know she may not feel like reading, but if she could just start reading a little at a time i am sure it will help. The book is not a big one at all. It has real simple reading.
is no use in sorry card,better is face to face talk and advise ur friend is better then a card.
death is very difficult to deal with and is a very touch subject to some. Give her time and let her heal a little on her own. leave her messages letting her know that you love her and when she needs to talk or wants to talk to call you. give her a week of being alone a week later invite her out. malls, movies, girl stuff, but what ever you do no dates for at least 6 months
Well, if she is just naturally depressed like bipolar or something of the sort make sure that you tell her that you love her and miss her if you're not hanging out with her. Send her text messages or drop her calls. A card might help but i doubt it. just let her know that you'll always be there for her and after about a week or two try to get her to go out and do things like movies and going to the mall or to dinner or something just as friends. Hope that helped some.
Give her this advice.
Feel it totally, but don't act on it.
I lost a former boyfriend in an accident. I didn't know that he had died, he just didn't show up for our date. I know how extremely difficult this was to go through in my own life.
There is no one "correct" way to help someone through this type of crisis, because everyone deals with bereavement differently. However, being a friend to her will go much farther than any words you say or card you send. Simply sit and listen or better yet, just sit with her. Your presence says you care when words are inadequate. I was fortunate that I had friends who cared about me and weren't afraid to let me talk about my former boyfriend's death.
It's often very uncomfortable for us to talk about death. Your friend is probably thinking about it quite often, though, so it's important that you be willing to break the silence and help her through the hard days ahead. When someone young dies, questions like, "Why did he die instead of me?" often plague those who knew him well. The truth is, there are no simple answers. If I were to attempt an answer, it would be incomplete, at best. In the same way, there is no simple way you can "make" your friend feel better. But encourage her to tell you about some of these unanswered questions she may be asking. Sometimes as friends we think we have to have an answer for a tough time, but often it is our presence that speaks louder than a trite answer to a difficult question. So, listen to the questions without giving an answer and spend time with her, letting her know you care.
Some things NOT to say to your friend:
"You'll get over it." Truthfully, that's crap. She'll never forget this time. This comment invalidates her feelings for him and the place he held in her life. Instead encourage her to think about the positive memories she has of their time together so that she begins to frame their relationship by these good times rather than the one moment in time when he passed away.
"All things work together for good--there's a reason for his death." Often people trying to comfort a friend who has lost a loved one feel that this is a compassionate response, but it is not. Many people question why God could or would take a young person in death. We have a desire to put a "band-aid" answer on an age old question. It is very reasonable to let your friend ask why God would let her boyfriend die. But it's OK not to have an answer for her. Unfortunately, we live in an imperfect world and death is a part of this imperfect world. So, maybe ALL things won't work out for good. The loss of a loved one is painful and doesn't seem good. Rather than trying to answer why God would take a young person, try to re-frame her questions by encouraging her to think of God as a compassionate God who cares about the pain she is feeling right now. As her friend, try to show that same compassionate care to her right now.
"You'll find someone else." Yes, she probably will. But no one will replace the boyfriend she lost. Each person we have a relationship with (romantic or otherwise) shares a part in the person we are. We learn and grow from shared experiences with them. There is no one, then, who could replace the relationship she had with him. But then no one should. Instead, encourage her to accept that he was someone special to her. Someone else will come later who will be special to her in another way--with his unique contribution to her life.
Observe your friend carefully for signs that she may need more help than you can give. Watch for the signs of clinical depression that could develop given the experience she has had. The signs of clinical depression include changes in eating habits, difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much, excessive crying, withdrawal from friends, loss of interest in things she once found pleasurable, thoughts of death (including suicidal thoughts), and other similar indications that she is not herself. If you recognize these symptoms, don't be afraid to ask your friend about what you are observing. Don't even be afraid to ask her if she has thought about suicide. Be honest and caring, but avoid making any comment about suicide being "bad" or "wrong." Immediately encourage her to find help from a mental health professional.
Overall, be a caring friend. That's what she needs most.
Just let her know that you are there for her. If she doesn't want to be around anyone right now, let her know that you are going to be there when she needs you.
Keep in touch every two weeks with a card or phone call.
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