Find something you enjoy? Yeah, great advice, except what if you don't enjoy things?
Question:
I realize it isn't that simple. Maybe it's from a lifetime of killing time on education without a focus or complaint since i did well in that. Maybe if's from my lifelong isolation from society as there isn't the focus of people seeing the problem. Maybe it's cause i just have no concept on my identity, who knows.
So how does one find something to enjoy if one does not know what that is? Been told to just explore new things ... Which is good advice for an extrovert .. but i'm clearly not that. I realize I am seeking help (otherwise wouldn't be in here). I don't know, maybe i just convinced myself i'm different from society around me and has no clue on what to do?
Answers:
I posted the same question - albeit in a different way? - a couple of days ago! What makes me happy? I honestly have no idea but thinking about it has brought some clues to mind. I enjoy talking to my psychiatrist and psychologist. I have started enjoying talking to my mom better and my two sisters and their children too. I have had my meds substantially increased. I think that helped too. My good friend is going to meet me for lunch on Friday. I realize I enjoy talking to only certain people in a reciprocal way. Others? I like to "help" at my clubhouse by talking positively to them. (I hope to be a peer specialist one day.) As you can tell *GRIN* - I named myself that? - I am an Introvert. But that's not all bad! I enjoy being here on this website and sharing experiences. I enjoy receiving connections. Talking - my nephews and niece live far away - and e-mailing all of them. Life can be good I truly think if we open up our minds to the possibility of "happiness" and then see what we think of. Try it! You are extremely intelligent. I sense that! Try it! Take care!
Its not about being an extrovert or introvert..its about the way we perceive things. I am an introvert too..i have many friends and yet i find solace in solitude. i take breaks..n i enjoy the cold breeze, the white moon anything. try to see the beauty of things...believe in miracles. Have you seen a new-born baby? notice their small hands..their lips parting...just everythin about them will make u believe in miracles. there innocence will make u believe in beauty. Read books if you like..again there are many kinds of books. Just change your attitude. We get life only once..you want to live this life for yourself.
To sum up, i think u just need to read this slogan everyday morning as soon as u get up from bed,
"Its my life n m gonna live d way I want. Its beautiful because its mine. everything around me is beautiful. I believe in myself."
Good luck
To find thing you enjoy, you explore things. Were humans. We all will like something. I don't know that i like learning about abnormal psychology until i stole my sisters textbook about abnormal psychology and started reading it.
Hey Bud,
Yeah I hate it when people try to fix me with easy answers. Yuck! I'd sooner they just keep their trap shut, than apply a quick band-aid and move on, ya know?
Three things come to mind after reading your question.
- It sounds like you have lots of thoughts, but no one to share them with. I wonder how many people are involved in your life. I wouldn't recommend isolation to anyone. We're designed with a need to interact with others. (And the more you interact with others, the more you just may realize that you're not as different as you might think you are :)
- I don't think "explore new things" is just for extroverts. I think it's for people with a hearbeat, ya know? I think advice for extroverts would be "explore new things with lots of new people". I think introverts need time to themself, but aren't supposed to spend all their time in a cave. (Speaking from experience :)
I know I was raised in a home where we didn't really leave the house. We just "couldn't afford" anything. (Even the free stuff, I guess.) so I know what it's like to not have interest in anything out there. You just don't know what's there.
So, here's what I would do if I were in your situation:
I would sit down with a pen and a piece of paper. (No computer. It's too distracting.) I would write a list of 31 new things I can do. It would start like this...
1. go for a half hour walk
2. go to a pet store
3. go to a pool (even just to splash around)
4. look through old yearbooks
5. plan a trip
6. spend 2 hours in a book you wouldn't ordinarily read
7. spend an hour e-mailing people I haven't spoken to in a long time
8. Make a fancy meal (for myself, or for others)
So forth, and so forth. Then I would make plans do to one thing on that list every day of the month. That's a great way to explore new things.
- It easy for me to be self-absorbed, but that's usually the time when I'm the most miserable. The more I focus on myself, the less happy I am. (This has been a rough lesson to learn.)
"He who refreshes others, himself find refreshment"
Maybe take some time to find out how you can better other people's lives. No clauses, or excuses, or anything. Just find a couple ways where you can help someone else. You may be very surprised to find out just how VERY rewarding that can be.
Again, these are just my thoughts.
You really remind me of me, and these are the kinds of things that I needed to hear when I was in that kind of place. if you wanna chat more, you can find me at
alan at spacewarriors dot ca
If you truly can not find ANYTHING that you enjoy then your brain chemicals are out of balance and you need to see a doctor.
If it is just that you cant be bothered to explore options to find something you enjoy then perhaps you enjoy doing nothing.
I am an introvert too, thats why the Internet is so FANTASTIC. I can socialize without ever having to MEET anybody.
As for being different from the world around me, tell me about it. I am TOTALLY that. I have to surrender myself every day just to step out into the world. I can not join in conversations as, well, my thoughts are so SKEW from mainstream.
Bottom line, this is where I am and I have to find a way to survive it. Better that I have FUN while I am waiting to find all those other WEIRD people like me.
Thing is in this world, we have SO MANY CHOICES that we dont know where to START.
From some of the things you said, I assume you are well educated. You must realize that no one is going to come into your home, and drag you out of the house to "play". Being an introvert is hard (I'm one myself) but you have to force yourself to find something you enjoy.
Maybe you honestly prefer to be alone, but just need a hobby. If you don't know what you'd enjoy, you'll have to try a few to find out. Woodworking, painting, write a novel, whatever. Just try some things until you find something you look forward to doing.
If you really want to connect with people more, again, you're going to have to force yourself out into the world. Pick a hobby you think you might enjoy. Go find other people who enjoy the same thing, join a club, take a class, etc.
You have nothing to lose by trying something only to find you don't enjoy it. Give it a fair chance, and if it's not for you, move onto something else.
I suspect most people weren't born knowing what they like. Most of us stumble into things. When I was a child, I saw ballet on tv. Fell in love with it, and from then on, all I wanted to do was dance. Took dancing lessons most of my life. Until I saw it on tv, I had no idea that's what I'd like to do.
When I was a teen, a friend and I went to an amusement park. Rode a roller coaster and loved it. I'd ridden them as a child, but never thought much about them. As I got older, I discovered I LOVED them. Actually, found out I love the adreneline rush. Now I'm a coaster enthusiast. I also expanded on that adreneline junkie thing, and have gone sky diving and hang gliding. Trust me, as a kid living in the city, those were NOT things I ever thought about doing.
You get one shot at life. Get off your butt and find something to make yourself happy. If you can't do that, try to make someone else happy. Helping other people is very fulfilling. The more things you expose yourself to, the more likely you'll find what you like. Being an introvert is no excuse. It's just harder for you, but not impossible. I hope you'll at least try. Just remind yourself that you deserve it.
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