I don't know where to turn. My brother needs psychiatric help?


Question:
I hate discussing family problems - outside the family - but I am at such a loss and I don't know where to turn. Without going into detail, something that happened to my brother. More than anything, my brother needs to know that he has the love and support of his family and that his family is standing with him in this. I was talking to him last night and he thinks that he has lost the love and respect from our dad and I know this isn't so. When I mentioned that our mom talk to our dad, he said no. The way this conversation took place, he wanted it kept between us two. I want to bring this forward to my mom, but there's that brother sister confidentiality clause. I want my brother to know he can trust me to keep things between us when they need to be or when he wants them to be, but because of the seriousness of all this, I feel I need to bring it forward. I would rather have him mad at me than to go on thinking that he has lost the love and respect of our dad.

Answers:
This sounds very serious, and I think its time to break that confidentiality agreement. You can do it though without going into a lot of details.
When I worked in health care, I could tell you about a procedure, but couldnt give you any more details. This is what you are going to have to do with your brother. You need to talk to your Mother and/or Father, and tell them your feelings, and then let them sort what needs to happen next.
Tell your brother he is loved and has not lost the respect of your father. As far as I know, if it is indeed serious enough, like your brother is doing something harmful to himself, I think it would be all right to break the confidentiality clause. Bring it up to your mom, and then get him some psychiatric help.
It is very difficult to talk about these sorts of things between siblings, but first off, it is a good sign that your brother trusted you enough to confide in you. While he may not appreciate it if you bring your parents (or a therapist) into the discussion without asking him first, you do have the right to open up that conversation.

You don't need to enter the conversation with your brother with an objective in mind - just try to see how he would feel about a therapist, why he is so set against it, and so forth. The only real goal is to encourage communication, and persuasion is easier when you aren't actively worrying about trying to do it.

These are difficult discussions to have with anybody, especially siblings, but while they can be somewhat scary to open up, your brother will definitely respect you for having the courage to do so.

The one exception to the somewhat laid-back approach that I've outlined is if you feel that your sibling is planning to hurt himself or somebody else. In that case, the responsible thing to do is to bring the issue to the attention of whomever can stop him before he does something he will later regret. It is always unfortunate to be placed in that situation, but better to act than to not.

I hope that what I've just described is not the case, and wish you the best of luck.
this is really serious...i think u need to convince your family to do a family therapy or even just talk. ive had a few problems with my family,too, my dads was a cop, and he is soooo strict and mean. my older sister had a really hard time with this b/c they were always screaming and fighting. u need to do something. i found out that writing letters to people work really good, u have time to think about what u want to say, and they do to. tell them how you feel and what needs to be changed. i know that ur family must love eachother, and if you guys care, ur family will hopefully work together and help your brother, and tell him that u love him with all ur heart and u only want the best for him, and u think he could be happy again if he does this, but i would give letters to each person in ur family explaining to them how u feel.
dont worry ull get through this :) we did

katie
If it's drugs or alcohol, then you need to join Al-Anon or Al-Ateen. If it's suicide, then to hell with your confidentiality clause and tell your parents. better to have him mad at you than dead, right?

It's hard to help since we don't know what his problem is.

You can have a heart to heart with him and tell him how YOU are feeling. You can talk to your parents about your feelings.

We need to know how old you are and what the problem is. It's hard to help otherwise.

I know you're hurting. What will happen will happen. It's how YOU deal with it that will be the important thing.
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