My 11 years old son is so lazy doing things he needs to do. What shall I do?
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I have a son that reflects some of the same tendencies at the same age...don't fear, he is not possesed, just 11. Find a reward system that works for you both, maybe its money,candy,going to go to a movie , whatever, and start to stimulate his desire to do his chores with a reward program that gets him interested in helping more. He does need to get something special everytime though, just every now and then as a nice suprise
you are the parent GET THAT BOY OFF HIS BUTT AND GET HIM MOVING.
So? You have let him. This is YOUR doing.
Go be a parent and stop letting this child run your household.
Threatin to Punish him then do it if he refusis to do his chorea
take off your belt and tell him just one more time.
Get him involved in a sport. This will keep him commited and exercising, getting him off that couch!
give an incentive.
do what you need to do, or you don't get to hang out with your friends. Whatever time you have left, you can hang out with them/play video games/watch TV
Restrict all fun activities until after he does what he needs to do.
First, he is lazy because he is 11. His body needs a lot of rest, believe it or not. Second, you should take away privileges like PlayStation or TV if he does not do his chores.
Take away his TV, video games and computer access.
Then tell him:
"No work... no food."
"You can earn the PRIVILIDGE of watching 30 min of TV by: _____"
"You can earn the PRIVILIDGE of watching 30 min of video games by: _____"
"You can earn the PRIVILIDGE of watching 30 min of computer use by: _____"
He'll cave within a day.
For a day/week tell him it's no house work day/week. You, him, and anybody else in the house don't do any housework at all except for making basic meals or paying bills. In a week the house will be a wreak tell him this is what it looks like if nobody does their job. My parents did it and now I'm not a lazy bum in the least.
I was like that. and i had to do chores to get money to pay back the previledges that I once had. My cell was 50 bucks, bed room door 100 bucks, friends 25 bucks, tv/computer/games 75 bucks. I did different chores then my regular ones and each one had a certian price. I remember I had to clean out the refridge and weed the flower garden just to have my friends over...which I should of went for the door first!...
And if i should improvement of doing my regular things like homework and doing dishes in a timely manner my paretns where more lient on getting my freedoms back!
let him know there are consequences for not doing what he is told to do, take away things privilages and be sturn, let him know you are boss and for everything that is not getting done take away a privilage and then take them from his room, example x box, games, bike,etc. once there is nothing left to take away he will be so bored that he will do what needs to be done in order to get his fun stuff back, hopefully that will work for you, take care!
The less he does the more you need to ask of him. Dont ask like every 5 min are you done yet, but help him understand that you are aware when he does what you ask him to do. Praise him when hes done and act intrested. If you mean chores then maybe ask him to do them and when he doesnt then you need to "forget" or be too "busy" to do something he wants and remind him that he cant do things for the family (which is what chores are) then you cant do things for him. and if that wont help punish the little slug. Give more chores and demand they get done BEFORE he eats, plays, watches tv, anything.
In China they have a saying, "sha er, zai gan". Which roughly translates to "kill a son, get to shag again".
Of course they have a one-child policy. And murder is frowned upon in most civilized countries. I suggest you buy your son a motorcycle and let him do the dirty work himself.
Good luck!
Children are only lazy because we allow them to be. Start him on a reward system. Explain that you are having him take on responsibilities as a teen to prepare him for adulthood. Just like mom and dad have to work to earn the things we want, so do you. So... Movie?...take out the trash. Sleepover?...clean up the house. Pets?...clean up and care for them. , etc.
I don't think this is a "mental health issue"... pre-adolescents are still developing their sense of identity and responsibility. To identify this exclusively as a mental health issue may be VERY unfair to your son.
If your son is not doing his chores or appeasing your wishes as a parent due to being too laid back and lazy... that is one thing in which perhaps a new approach of discipline can help... However if if he is showing defiance when asked to do something, fighting at school, not paying attention, etc... consider consulting a psychologist and/or psychiatrist to help in getting him to respect authority , and perhaps test for ADHD. Once again... laziness doesn't equal mental health issues.
Are you sure it's laziness? Could he be depressed, or maybe angry and therefore unmotivated?
If this is his chronic state, then you'll have to do something drastic to change his attitude.
Privilege suspension is going to be more effecting than violence. Don't hit, he'll just resent you as he resists.
If you really want to motivate him, join him in doing the chores you want done. Make it as much fun and laughs as chores can be. Praise him plenty EVERY time he does chores, especially if he does them spontaneously. No gifts, just plenty of thank you's.
Studies show children who are rewarded intrinsically are more likely to continue the good behaviour. Children rewarded extrinsically are more likely to want more and more for doing less and less.
GL
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/the...
He likely needs to sense a personal benefit
to inspire his participation, as well as a deadline, that if the chore passes unfinished, he will lose that personal benefit.
Let's say, you want the garage swept-out. So, call that a 7minute job. You want the bathroom cleaned, that's a 10-15 minute job for a person his age.
Let him know how long the jobs should take him once he gets started. It's up to him WHEN he does his less than a 1/2 hr., but if it is time to leave to go somewhere he wants to go and the deadline goes by. Sorry, too late for today. Let him feel his consequence. Leave him to deal with HIS disappointment. If the chore still remains undone X# of hrs. later- and you've told him ahead of time, then he loses privilages, TV time, friend time, snack foods, game time, or what have you.
Let's say the next time he has chores to do, you spell it out for him what to be done, how to do it, how long the job should take. And state the deadline for the fun thing, maybe leaving to go with a friend. It is unlikely that he will miss out twice.
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