A problem...?
Question:
Ever since i moved away from the city where i was used to big lines/cramped buses and trains i had a problem with being in lines and stuff where i stare at people in a hall or othersiwse and make them feel visibly unconfortable. When i try to avert my gaze from a crowd/people i manage to ridicule myself oncemore by looking like a fool.
I dont know what to do this is so weird i only got this problem recently.
Answers:
see a counselor
I have a problem similar to that.
When you stare at a person, are you thinking about that person, or are you lost in a completely different thought?
If you are zoning out and it looks like you are staring, then you really cant have much control over that. If someone asks a question or makes a comment about it, simply apologize and tell them you were zoning out and didnt mean to offend if it looked like you were staring. Im sure most people will understand, and for those who overreact to it, well.sounds to me like they got a bigger problem then you do!
you really need to find some help and support!! go out and seek help please ! good luck!
You may be suffering from an Autism spectrum disorder, like Asperger's Syndrome (see pages 21, and 12, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... ). If you stare at people, they think you are aggressive, and may attack them, but if you don't look them in the eye occasionally, they regard you as shifty, and a criminal type. Observe how others behave, (without staring; just a glance, left and right, now and then) and always ask yourself: "How would a normal person react in this situation?" and let that guide your response. OTHERWISE: use the technique for reprogramming negative thoughts, on page 2.
You have no problem, your problem is almost like me counting my steps, and trying to step over the cracks in the sidewalk. What you are doing is completely natural, but i can help you if you are willing to listen.
So, people get nervous, whether it's a performance infront of many people, or about to get killed. The problem here is that we/you are thinking or planning what to do. When your planning something in your mind...for example...
Your about to sing infront of an audience, you have the words in your mind and you know you have it in there. But when you get out there, you think to yourself, "I have this all planned, i can't mess up". Then all of a sudden you do. And you are embarassed of it.
What i'm trying to say is, stop planning and thinking about what you are going to do.
Try and just get out there and doing whatever, have a conversation with someone next to you, and don't plan what your going to say. Anyways...some people can be paranoid, it doesn't mean you are making them uncomfortable, it's there own mind and thought that they think you are stalking them or whatever.
Here's some suggestions, you can listen to some music and just look stare blanky at whatever, people won't mind you, if they do, it just means they are paranoid, trust me there is nothing wrong with you, and stay calm.
Shyness is just something in the way of our goals in life, to overcome it is like trying to get a 4.0 in highschool.
Stop planning, and start going at it.
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