Recovering from an eating disorder. what should i do during this time regarding relationships and such?


Question:
i'm currently trying to recover from an eating disorder. right now i spend most of my time going to the doctors/therapist and resting and working on self improvement. i feel i made the mistake of contacting a few old friends (one that is romantically interested in me) too soon, because we've been talking through texts/phone and i'm realizing i'm just not ready to see anyone. i feel it would cause me to dwelve back into my disorder because i haven't yet gained any self esteem or body acceptance and having people i like see me right now would send me over the edge. i can barely even be reliable enough to keep in touch through phone/text/email because i simply am not in a good state of mind right now and it gets overwhelming to deal with feeling judged or deal with having to postpone plans constantly and such. i hate being so unreliable because i probably seem careless and self absorbed, and i have told them i'm trying to recover from an e.d, but i just can't deal with so many things now.

Answers:
This will be a true test to see if who your real friends are. If you feel you need some time for yourself, do take it, but remember that people may or may not wait around for you. It really is up to them.

Some people I am sure will understand and if they have other friends they can hang around and feel fine just letting you contact them on your own that is fine. Not everyone is like that, but that is OK, once you feel better, you can always make new friends and start new relationships. Maybe you can find support with other E.D. friends who would understand and not judge you.

Many of my friends have all sorts of problems with alcohol, manic depression, bi-polar disorders and such but when they need time to themselves, I understand they need a break and just keep the lines open. Sometimes I feel I don`t really understand them or their circumstances and it can be draining sometimes, but we have all learned to realise that it is OK to take time off from eachother and freshen things up, self-wise and we will always be friends!
You need to be upfront with this person and tell them what you have said here. During this rough time, you need friends and family to lean on, so don't push them all away. Be strong, you are doing the right thing.
From my experience of recovering from an eating disorder, just waiting is the best advice I can give you. I was once in your position, and I can vaguely remember any of it. I remember it being hard, but on the plus side, it will all seem as if it were a dream. Focus on your recovery; you'll have opportunities to socialize in the clinic, likely.
Get well.
The clinic is the best option for now...Youre still fragile from your experience. the best thing about the clinics are the people you meet who are going thru what you are.There you can ask every question you asked here and get 10-40 different views of ways to use coping skills to handle things.The clinic will be the best experience you can have to gain your Balance. You will learn your relationship boundaries with healthy and unhealthy people you will deal with while keeping your RECOVERY in check which is your priority! Good luck
I agree that you should take your time until you feel stronger physically. If your friends are genuine friends you can tell them that you will get in touch with them when you are feeling better.

I also agree that you need more work on building your self confidence and self image. You realize that it is your choice to think as you do.

It may help to get some reading materials from you therapist.

I write a number of self-help articles posted on my website. Read my articles. It is free.

http://themeaningisyou.com
Hi Love,

You do sound like you've got a lot on your plate to eat right now and you don't like to feel too full. Anyway I agree with ya one hundred and fifty percent, take the time out for yourself right now. How long is right now? As long as you and your family think you need and are prepared to put up with. Ultimately that's all that matters. Sounds like you have a supportive family. Excellent, you're blessed. Other people in your life right now do 'not' need to pressure you or put their demands or expectations on you. Explain to them as best you can, and tell those of them who are demanding to ease up or back off! If you're not healthy or you were to get worse (God Forbid) you'll be of no help to yourself or anyone else.

It's called tough love and everybody needs it. It's not being selfish, it's also called common sense and it's the path to healing.

You sound like a strong girl and that 's good. Ask supportive people close to you to look out for you. You'll alwasy find people who are willing to help.

If you can have a paltonic sexual relationship, good for you. If not do without the sex and keep the platonic love of close male/female friends. It'll fill the emotional gap. Most young people are out of control with their emotions anyway sexual and otherwise.

Good luck and God bless on your journey. It will get better if you take your meds and therapy especially if you spend some time in a clinic. I'm pretty sure you want to get clean and not be a perpetual repeat offender or have anorexia or bulimia hanging over you head for the rest of your life. You've got too much life ahead.

Love and praying for ya.

Barry H
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