How can I overcome this?

Question:

I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse and battery. I am trying really really hard to stay positive! But I have alot of suppressed rage! I did attend church but my anger has caused me to make a fool out of myself over and over again! Church does help! But I feel guilty about bringing my problems to them. I almost hit a guy at a department store because the line was crowded. You couldn't tell where it began and where it ended. He was very rude to me. I LITERALLY SNAPPED! I was so so close to getting violent. Sometimes I'm afraid of myslef! When I was in the military I fractured my right hand all the way up my wrist from a boxer's fracture. I was discharged do to my potential of being violent. My discharge was general under honorable. When I was just a child I beat up a kid 3 times my size. I was only a teenager and he was a senior in high school. I'm not proud of this! I really need help! I fell guilty about sharing my problems with others.

Answers:
Your story touches my heart, because I every time I'm ready to have a pity party, I remember those who have suffered so much more than me, and I realize how really good I had it.

The anger you're feeling is not going to go away until it's dealt with. And somehow you need to keep from snapping and getting yourself thrown in the pen, where I guarantee you will get no help whatsoever.

So there is a website NAMI.org. It's got tons of info on mental illness, and it can direct you to a local person who can find a doctor nearby that specializes in sexually abused, battered and military anger. They can also find a doctor who can prescribe some chill-out pills so you can keep your anger to a manageable level.

Don't wait. Get help now before something serious happens. Get help now so you don't have to spend the rest of your life angry and in pain.

Debbie
TX Mom
Not medical personnel

go to therapy

You should really get some kind of counseling because the situation you're in sucks in so many ways. You're being someone you don't want to be and it's just getting worse. Sometimes you just need to put your guard down and open up about your problems to someone. It worked for me.

You would probably benefit from therapy & some anger management classes. Have you ever confronted your abuser? That might empower you. Other than that, soft music, soaking in hot tubs and relaxing!

How can I overcome this?

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