How do I get past my wife's emotional affair?

Question:

My wife of 17 yrs had an emotional affair a year ago. It lasted for a month and a half. It came to an end when we moved to a different state. Shortly there after she brokdown and told me about the love affair and the one night they went for a drive to talk that ended with a kiss. He was her boss and an officer in the army that helped me get my deployment orders.I deployed to Iraq 4 months later. I lay down to sleep and my mind just runs wild with thoughts of what they did, what I would like to do to him, and so on. I want to be able to go to bed and not think about him or the affair. I get 2 or 3 hrs of sleep because my mind wont shut down. Is there any way to just forget it? My wife and I had started Marriage councleing emidiatly and we have grown much closer in the last 8 months. I just went on my 2 weeks leave with her and our 2 children and it was a fantistic time. She says she loves me deeply and always has. We both want to repair the damage but for now I just want to sleep.

Answers:
Your wife damaged your relationship and your honor by engaging in such situations. YOu cannot forget it b/c you haven't forgiven her. And you feel like there is something wrong with you for your wife to turn to another man. (that human nature to feel like there issomething wrong with you) However, you need to express your hurt and anger to your wife appropriately (perhaps in your therapy session) so you can sleep at night. No need to focus on the man she waas with.your wife played a part also. You are displacing your anger b/c you love your wife and want to blame him. You need to voice your feelings and have your wife just sit and listen to you w/o saying anything so you can move on. YOu will not be able to forget but your will be able to forgive and that is what will help you sleep at night. Good luck!

It hard to forget about an affair. Your mind will go crazy. There is no real way to forget about it.....at least not right away. Maybe never which sucks. As far as sleep ask your doctor for Ambiem sleeping pill....It works wonders. My mind for diffrent things races all night but I take I pill I sleep soundly and wake refreshed in the am

try couples counseling. it's worked for some of my friends when sexual affairs have happened.

I wish i new what to say that could help you deal with this situation, but unfortunately i don't know what to say to help.
except, just keep on going to marriage counselling until things get back to normal.

I wish you all the best to you and your family.

thank you for fighting for our country and our freedom.
God bless you all.

Why did your wife have to go to another man to talk? I have been in similar situations because my husband was emotionally withdrawn and a workaholic. I'm not saying you are necessarily at all to blame but there are usually two sides to every story and nothing happens in a vacuum. Good luck with your marriage.
Hey, for sleeping, try www.emofree.com, if you have time to learn EFT it can help with many aspects of your life and the lives of those around you.

How do I get past my wife's emotional affair?

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