Is it wrong to think your personality is not fit for motherhood?
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Motherhood doesn't have to be about always wanting to play kids games, baking cookies, and doing crafts. I believe that what counts is trying to find a way in which you DO enjoy interacting with your son. You may need to watch really closely while he's exploring, or playing on his own, but if you do you'll eventually notice something that he is interested in that the two of you could share.
I recommend reading "Einstein Never Used Flash Cards". It's a book that provides actual evidence regarding what kids really need to mentally, emotionally and creatively develop.
It might just ease your mind to know that you're probably doing a better job as a parent than you think!!
If he's still really young, he may not need much more than for you to just BE there. If your feelings are really getting in the way of interaction with him, consider talking to a professional. Depression is much more common than you might think, and far more biologically driven than many people know. I don't know much about your situation, so I couldn't rule it out.
I don't consider myself a typical mom. I'm not much of a baby person, never really got into other people's babies until they got older. I hate Barney, and the Teletubbies, and will never play kids music in my car. I love to read, paint, and write. I try to let my daughter play alongside me as much as possible, but I don't try to do exactly what she's doing. However, we do have a couple of games we play together. She likes to play "in and out".basically taking objects (usually coins) out of a container, giving them to me, taking them away again and putting them back into the container. We also play "get the ball"...I throw it, she goes to get it, brings it back to me and I throw it again.
I guess what I've been trying to say is that there are all kinds of ways to be a good parent. You've just got to find your way.
Best of luck to you!!
if you feel that way, then you were too young to have a child in the first place.
Not everyone is fit for motherhood. You know yourself better than anyone else. So may be you are not suitable. It is always good to know ahead as mothehood is a full time job for at least 20 years. Anyway the world is overpopulated.
you might have postmodern syndrome you should really talk to a doctor about it though my cousin had it she got on some pills that helped balance out her brain chemicals and now she and my newest cousin are 2 peas in a pod
every child needs ure attention.playing at least 1hr. a day is okay but to think about not just playing with him is soooo wrong.soon he'll start to notice and ask why??
You are just very young. But you gave up your childhood when you chose to become a parent. You have to realize that and meet your parental obligations first. As your child grows older, you will be able to spend more time on yourself, but while he's small, you owe him your attention. You're only a bad parent if you neglect your child.
Parenthood is a learning and growing experience for all of us, and it's seldom easy. But most of us survive that experience and discover that we're actually glad we went through it.
from what it sounds like you are wanting to care but finding it hard to do just that I would consider family counseling to look deeper into why you are feeling this way maybe it stems from something lacking in your life wither that be in the past or present maybe something with the way you were raised. It would help if you said how old you were because if your younger I would say its stems from not having enough time with yourself before having children. Try praying about it if you have a relationship with God.
I personally believe that not everyone is cut out to parent. Just like not everyone is cut out to be a doctor. I am not an "active" mom. I don't do all the stuff with my daughter like some moms do. But I do make sure she gets to do stuff.
Just because you are a soccer mom doesn't mean your a good mom and just because you are not a soccer mom doesn't mean your are a bad mom. I say just make sure you put your child in the position to get to do kid stuff like putting them in camps and workshops and things like that.
I use to think I was a bad mom because I saw other mom making cupcakes and taking them to the school and taking all the kids in the neighborhood to the beach...but as long as she got to go I didn't worry about it.
I think a good parent is one that provides the essentials and love their child genuinely...all that extra stuff is just filling.
It's normal to miss doing whatever you want. It's normal to resent having to sacrifice your own needs for your child. And, face it, playing with babies and toddlers can get boring. I've been a stay-at-home mom for two years and I'm bored silly of peek-a-boo and stacking blocks. I keep things interesting by trying to involve my son in things I like to do, like going for walks, browsing at Kohl's, and hanging out with my friends. I've also worked some mommy time into my day by teaching my son that he has to play by himself while I read a book. He's perfectly capable of entertaining himself for a little while, and I think it's good for him to learn to do this. I don't consider myself a bad parent for feeling this way, and neither should you.
No it is not wrong to acknowledge it. However, it would've been kinder don't you think to admit it before you ever had a child to begin with. Look around you at the masses of children who are tolerated instead of actually wanted and how as adults they struggle to feel loved. It's most of us, and that is the primary reason there are a thousand upon thousands of posts in this forum. All these broken people who would've been just fine if their parents really gave it all they had. It isn't good enough just to raise your kid without beating them, but most people think as long as you aren't abusive, that is enough. So you don't want kids. If you have half a heart you better never ever let your kid realize that. So now, you don't want to do stuff with him, so you better be doing 2-3 times what other parents are doing. He is going to need extra from you in order for him not to realize you don't really want him. And perhaps, with giving the extra effort, you will find that parental spark after all. Now after I blasted you like that, let me be a little more gentle. Parenthood is absolutely without any exception the MOST important job in the world. More than a doctor or a lawyer or a soldier or a priest. THE most important job without a single exception. You have shown the courage to admit you weren't up for the job when you 'signed up'. But I encourage you now to find your bravery and pull it all together and make the best for your child that you possibly can. There is absolutely nothing else you can achieve in life that is more valuable than having been a successful parent. And really all that takes is unconditional love. Find it.
You might try to think of us that couldn't and didn't ever have children. I'm 50 and it pains me that somehow I didn't have the love or the time or the willingness to do it. You have the gift of a son. He is a handful now but will always be a blessing even when he is troublesome. Be thankful always. Give thanks for his unconditional love and know that you will always be useful to at least one very important person. Much Love. Sherri
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