HELP!!.Should I tell her? if so how?
Question:
Thanks alot
Nikki
Answers:
What would you hope to gain by telling her?
Look at your motivation for telling her, do you just want someone else to know? Do you need reassurance?
What you want to accomplish will help you decide whether she is the one to tell or not.
Maybe you need to talk to someone who is objective and has no relationship with you.
Often we overload friends with TMI (too much information) and they don't know what to do with it.
Hope this helps,
Karen
tell her when you feel comfortable to, theres no rush. if you plan on having a relationship with this girl then i think you should tell her eventually, if you are just going to be friends then its really up to you, you don't have to tell her.
Well if she is any kind of friend at all she will sit and listen to what she has to say. If she is any kind of friend at all she would not judge you. Maybe she can help you get some help it isnt good to hold all of these feelings bottled up inside you. You either need to talk to her or someone else close to you
Good Luck
well nikki, if u feel comfortable telling her that u used to cut and bite then tell her, but if u still think that u need to get to know her better than wait
hope i could help
kayla
You shouldnt keep your worries inside, you should tel your friend how you feel. Keeping it all bottled up is much worse than telling someone. You will feel lots happier when you do tell someone else about you're feelings
It's awful being depressed. It really helps to talk about your problems sometimes. That's really what friends are for.
It depends on how close a friend she is, and how you see her. If you think she would be interested, if she's a 'good listener', then tell her. She might be able to help you, even if it's just listening to and helping you talk about your problems. If you think she just wants to see you and not to be bothered with your problems, then don't tell her.
You can tell her but carefully and slow from begining. If you have some details to teel e-mail to me. I'm had same problems but I look for help, and I'm better person now.
My gosh reading this was like reading some thing I wrote. like you I am bi and I went through a cutting faze, and the thoughts of suicide were constant. If you think you can trust her tell her, tell her how much it took for you to tell her all this and that you really feel like you need her right now to lean on, it worked for me, and I hope it works for you. If you decide to tell her then just ask her if she would mind knowing something really personal about you if she says yes tell her everything and don't soften it any, if she says NO then don't tell her just yet, Make sure you don't scare her by being forward if she doesn't think of you as a best Friend.
tell her at the right moment, when you think the time is right. You dont have to do it right away theres nothign to worry about. If she is a good friend, she will understand about how u used to be and like u how u treat her and how YOU are. Trust me. TO find out she is a REAL friend, u have to tell her, but when you feel comfortable and get to know her side of her life.
If u think she is a really good friend i think u should tell her she could help u and give some advice. But if u think yall r not that close i think u should wait until ur a little closer to tell her cause u never know how she might judge u true friends dont judge they stick by u.
P.S. Nothing on the face of this earth is worth dieing for so if u need any body to talk to just bow your head and cross your hands trust me HE will listen.
It's up to you if you want to share these personal stories with your friend. I'm not sure why there is a need to tell her all of this stuff right now... is she your girlfriend or trying to be?? There's no need for her to know this stuff if she's just sleeping over for the weekend.. but if you want to build a deeper friendship with her, than I can understand why you want to share. It's up to you - if you feel like you can trust her and you feel comfortable telling her.
Feel her out, say something like," hey, you know I'm bi, right? Do you know what that really means and would you understand and not be freaked if I told you there is a little more to it than just." Then if she's open to it go ahead and tell her the rest of the stuff..if not then just let her know there are other problems and allow her to come to you in her own time---when she is ready to know more about you.
You should let her know. Its also better for a person that you care about to hear it directly from you instead of hearing it "around" I had a problem with that in school and it was quite upsetting. Talk to those you can trust and feel comfortable with. You may be scared or think that they will judge you but once you get it out there they are always willing to help and still see you for who you are. Never be ashamed of what you've done or who you are. You'll feel better about yourself in the long run. I know your friend will understand and she may have some questions. Don't shut her out.
tell her what you think she needs to know we all have privet parts to owe life that is fine and it is normail she needs only what you are compatible in telling her..
there is no problem in telling her the things of your thoughts i would think that most likely most of us on this boards would have had them oneself so i would think that she might too, the funny thing in this is that the more people that know that your having them the more they will wont to help if they really care for you! even if they have no idea how to help they will try, find someone that can help at lest for you and at the worst they will just give you a shoulder to cry on if that is all that you need too, so i would not be berthed too much with telling her, the thing that i think is interesting is that your concerned out telling some that you know at lest a anufe to have over but yet you can tell everyone that is on this very public forum as YouQA.com 's is and she could easy have read this by now and not know that it is you or she could have read it and know it is you and so that would take the surprise out of it for you hay :)
Nikki, you need to talk t o someone who is a professional. It is clear you you really want to discuss this with someone, but a friend can only commiserate or even blame. There is help out there but you have to ask for it. School counselor, pastor, mental health facility-look in the yellow pages.
i would feel out the situation first. if she's the type of friend that you know you can trust and feel comfortable with, then start out slowly. if she's a really good friend and she really cares, she'll understand. but i would suggest that you go to a therapist to get the help you need. good luck and let me know what happens.
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