What Death means to you?Have you ever lost one parent and how did you feel?
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I am so sorry. Actually I lost both of my parents. My dad at 44 and my mom was 56. Both were very difficult for me. My dad died suddenly and my mom had cancer so she died after about 6 months. It was so hard watching it.
Also, today is my son Matthew's birthday. He passed away 6 years ago 11 hours after he was born. So I also lost a child. Each death affected me greatly....but the death of my son was totally shocking. No parent should ever bury a child.
However, in spite of the fact that I miss them dearly..I realized I had to change my beliefs about death to stop the grief. I now believe after 10 years of searching that death is a gift. It is the end of the rat race. Your soul still exists. It always has and always will. It never dies...just changes form. Death is like walking from one room to the next....we just shed this body and go to where we came (I believe the source is God). We come here just to experience for a while and then go home.
There are excellent books out there that will help you greatly in dealing with the death of your mother. They are called Conversations with God (3 books) by Neale Donald Walsch.
I read a page or 2 almost every day.
God bless you, my heart bleeds for you...:( but remember one sweet day you will be together again.
Im very sorry to hear that. I havent lost a parent but been very close to it. My dad was dying from cancer but he recovered and survived from it. It scared me so much and I cried all the time, but I made the most out of every moment that I spent with him in the hospital. I never left his sight without telling him how much I loved him and how he'd be just fine in Heaven with God. Death is very depressing to think about for me and Im sure everyone else. We all must die one day though. Just be sure that she knows how much you love her and how safe she will be in God's arms. Make sure to tell her not to be afraid to let go. Reassure her that you'll make it just fine without her even though you feel like you wont because it'll be less scary for her to let go. Im sorry and if you need to chat further then please do. Im very open and I love to listen and give advice..
I lost my dad in 1999 and he was unable to communicate..could hear, but not speak..he was very alert and we were told his heart just gave out..he had dementia towards the end and that was tough to take..my mom also had dementia, and we lost her about 1 yr. later; she, too, could not speak at the end..it was awful!! all we could do was tell them what they meant to us, etc...the doctors said that hearing is the last thing to go, and I feel by my dad's responses with his eyes, he understood everything.. my mom could not respond; she just stared up at the ceiling and was breathing very heavily..the nurse said she was in the process of dying.again, I poured my heart out to her and said all the things you want to say to your parents but never took the time to say!!..they were divorced for many years and passed away in different cities from each other...she said at one time that if he went first, she would go to his funeral, as 'I did love him once, and he is the father of my children"...so like her!! but, alas, they both passed away nowhere near each other..she did learn of his death, and said that we should say a prayer for him...this was before her mental state was too far gone....wow I am getting tears in my eyes writing this..but please, spend as much time as you can with her, talk to her, and she will understand what's in your heart! I was not around when my dad passed on, but my niece was...she was also there when my mom passed away; I'd gone home to get some sleep and was there 5 mins, when she called..she said that mom looked up at the ceiling, and started to smile, and then was gone.....
Death unfortunately is a part of life. From the time we are born, our days on this planet are physically finite. You didn't state what it was that your mother was dying from, however, as her physicians are reluctant to perform surgery due to her heart condition, the best that can be done for her is to make her as comfortable as possible, and be with her if possible until the end. In this way you will have an opportunity to say good-bye, and grieve the emminent loss of your mother. In my own case, I still grieve even though its been five years since I lost my dad suddenly and unexpectedly to a heart attack. I never got the opportunity to say good bye to him, and I have to live that fact. I have carried on, but every once in a while memories come flooding back and while time does dull the pain and soften the ragged edges, I rembember the good times more than the bad times. So my advice would be to make the most of the time that you have left with your mother-it will be a blessing to you both.
i haven't lost a parent but my best friend wen i was little i had none him since i was 18 months old was diagnosed w/ cancer and would miss semesters of school at atime sometimes the most he would come to school im a hole year was about a week then in second grade it got really bad and he died.. i wasn't fased for a wile i couldn't figure out y every one was crying then it hit me i was never going to see him again! i freaked out i didnt want to do anything exept for cry it was at the sevice at school that i noticed i will never forget him
death to me means that someone is going to be taken away from you and you wont ever get to see or hold then anymore. my grandpa passed away in dec of 05 but he and my grandmother raised me so i gueses its kinda like a parent. i felt horrible, we had no idea he was sick he died of a heart attack and it still takes me by surprise sometimes. i always thought that i wouldn't be able to live without him and my grandmother and while i was completely devastated it wasnt like what i thought it would be. i thought i would be so sad that i would die from it. i did cry alot i still do cry. i'll be doing something and then i think of what he might have done or said in that situation and it brings me sadness. but i have to be strong for my grandmother and my baby. he died 16 days after my son was born so it was a pretty bad blow. when my son started walking and all that stuff i would always tell him if only you were here to see this and ill cry for a little bit but ive learned that life doesnt stop just because you've lost someone. now i do everything for my grandma that he would do so im happy that im making her life a bit easier since he passed away
I'm sorry to hear about your mother's condition. Death means going to the next level or rejoining God to prepare for your next life on earth (if you believe in rebirth). After a few or many rebirths and you've become enlightened, you need not be reborn again. Ie you have reached Nirvana ie being with God forever.
My parents are still alive. I have lost pets before and it sucks. However time will make the pain lesser. The worst is the day they die and the weeks and months after.
To make you pain less, you need to care for your mother the best you can now so that you won't be eaten with guilt and regrets when she dies.
Make her as comfortable as possible now.
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