Question:
I am so worried about my guy friend i just don't know what else i can do to help him, i've tried so much to help but it never seems to make a lot of difference. He's 24 and lives on his own. Where he lives gets him down so much as he's never had the money to do it up. He's got no carpets etc and feels so ashamed about that he won't let no one come round. He can't move at the moment cos he owes some rent arrears. He is only working part time cos he's got mental and physical health probs. He's very depressed and wants to see a psychiatrist as he's had some very bad experiences in his life but his doctor won't refer him to one. Even when hes been to see his doctor, the doctor won't help him. I keep telling my friend to go to a different doctors, get 2nd opinions etc but he's just come to the point where he's just had it with his life, he says he's just waiting to die now cos his life is just so bad it will never get better. I am living at home but am thinking of moving out and keep wanting to ask him to move in with me so it would ease the pressure off him having so much responsibilities so he is able to think about himself and his health more, but knowing him he will just say no. He is so reluctant to let anyone help him. He's never got any money for food etc and i've helped him out with money so he can eat and i know he's grateful for it but he says he can't keep having money off me all the time. He's now started having to sell some off his things just to get money to live. I just don't know what else i can do for him. I can't sit back and let him suffer this way. If anything ever happened to him i would never forgive myself for not being able to help him. All i wanna do is live with him, look after him, treat him like he deserves to be treated and love him like no one has ever done before and just be there for him for anything. It just dosn't seem like thats ever going to happen. What more can i do? What else can i say to him when he tells me he's just a waste of space and worth nothing? Is there any other way to arrange for him to see someone apart from a doctor referal? It would have to be no fee cos we ain't got the money to see someone privately. I'm just on the edge of getting ill myself cos i just can't stop worrying about him. Sorry this has been so long!
Answers:
He has to want help.
Sure there are places for him to go.
He can contact his county/city department of social services. Since he is so poor, they will get him into see a psychiatrst for no money. And prescriptions, too (if he needs them).
If he says, "Oh, they won't help" or "I'm through", etc.then he doesn't want help. He wants to sit and feel sorry for himself. And because of his age, there isn't anything anyone can do for him.
Wow! You almost had me in tears.I think getting a place with him is a good idea,but it would be better if you somehow made him think it was his idea.The reason I say this is a man always has to feel in control.As far as his health I'm a little worried. You better hope he is not an angry person that could snap and take it out on you.Believe me when I say this I spent many nights wondering if I was going to wake up the next day.You can go to one of your local health food stores if you can find a good one someone will be able to help your friend.You say he is broke? I can tell you something that is free------WALKING----- releases endorphins that reduce depression 30 minutes per day,think about it.Good Luck.
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