Borderline Personality?
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I'll be brief and will not bore you with a lot of nonsense about your illness. My wife had it for 45 years so I consider myself an expert on the subject. Her Personality would change at times from day to day and at times from being sick for a week or many weeks. She would be depressed wanting to do nothing. Getting out of bed was a chore. Other times she would be hyper and tell me how much she loved me, etc. I took her to fourteen different psychiatrists during this time and none could make her feel like a whole woman. Her illness was almost like bipolar disorder but differed in certain respects. Medication had very little benefit except when she was very depressed.
The only advice I can give you is try to find a psychologist or psychiatrist who specialize in this type of disorder and see what he/she has to say. There are several books on the subject which may be of help. Look them up on the Internet under Borderline Personality Disorders. There is one written by a woman that is very good: "I Love You; I Hate you". Good luck and hang in there.
Hi, I used to be quite depressed. I now take medication for it and it helps Very much. An effect of the medication, I have found, is it has somehow shutdown the "self dialogue" part of my mind. You know, the ever self questioning "should I have done this, said this? etc" part of the mind. The part that doubts everything you do. The part that worries. And the part that forever has you replaying past incidents because you fault yourself and you try to make it better. My wife is constantly doing this. Her mind is either in the past trying to fix something she said or did. Or in the future worrying about possible outcomes that she doesn't have the information to predict. I don't know if I'm making sense here. But if you know what I mean. This kind of self destructive thinking which causes depression is gone due to the medication. Consequently I'm thinking Much clearer and my depression is 75% gone. I don't worry about anything nor do I question myself. My mind is at peace. I'm in the "present" in my head. I laugh now. Though smiling still does not come natural to me. It took a long time to find the right medication. Just thought I'd let you know what helped me. One more thing. Its ones thinking that gets one depressed. Open your mind Wide and consider allowing new ways of thinking about things. Try reading some of the Dalai Lami's books on compassion to give you a different perspective on others. Reconsider prayer and possibly excepting Christ if you have rejected it. I'm doing that now. Not because the Bible makes any more sence to me. It still seems illogical and contrary to reason. But because I have seen the good effect beliving in God has had on some people I know. And I want this, what they have. GOOD LUCK , I won't say "praise the Lord" because frankly I'm not there yet. But I will say "God Bless YOU and Yours." And you didn't even have to Sneeze!!
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