What to do?

Question:

i have been feeling depressed for months, i have ebnn fighting with my wife and not spending time with my son, i just want to sleep all day long, but i always feel tired. i think/want my wife to leave me because i am such as mess. i just want to fall aslepp and never wake up, i was searching for ways of poisoning myself earlier after my wife left after a fight. i feel awful and i dont want to tell her becasue her brother hung himself when she was 12 he was 14. it has been awful after our apartemnt building caught on fire, we have been living with her sister and i cannot seem to provide for my fsamily, we are constenlty needing money. i was diagnosed with bipolar and depression when i was 12, i "grew out of it" by 19. i was physically and sexually abused by my dad and uncle, my stepdad used to beat my other sibling and i. i dont have any insurance and owe two hospital bills for my sone and one for my wife, i cannot afford a psychologist, i just dont know what to do

Answers:
Leaving your son and your wife is going to make things worse for both you and your family. I was in your son position, and it gave me severe depression to see my dad with his mental illnesses leaving my family when I was at such a young age. It sounds like you want to get better, the only thing that can help is seeing a psychologist and getting medicine. You will feel a lot better if you do, trust me. Just please don't do anything to hurt your self or your family. I hope you make a wise choice.

you do not outgrow being bi-polar. you need medication. call mental health agencies. there is free help out there if you do not have insurance. look in your phone book, go on-line,
if you do not have a computer, go to the library and use the internet for free. do not ever give up.

You need to talk to your wife about how you are feeling! As far as the hospital bills, to hell with them! Make sure you have what you need and food on the table before you pay a dime on hospital bills! Depression can be an awful thing, I understand. And alot of the time, you have no idea what you are depressed about. Look at the better side of things, start spending time with your son, a child can do so much to lift ones spirits! But if your wife loves you then she will listen to you and try to help you, that's what marriage is all about, having your best friend by your side, for better or for worse! Everyone has rough times throughout their life, but as God says "this too shall pass", trial and tribulations are to make us stronger! Good luck! Hope you get to feeling better, things will pass!

please turn to GOD!! Sometimes prayer is your last resort! I will pray for you at church tomorrow!! Hang in there!

I don't think one "out grows" being bipolar. At the very least you are clinically depressed. You really need medication. This is a chemical imbalance and nothing that you should be ashamed of. Perhaps you can see a doctor and tell him/her your situation and get some medication. Most drug manufacturers have programs that help people that can't afford their drugs obtain them at a reduced price. The doctor may even be able to get you started on some samples. Also do you qualify for assistance? Medicaid or something? Please seek help for your and your families sake.

I often feel the same way when overwhelmed. I no longer take antidepressants but used to. If you cant afford medicine, allow your wife to help solve some of the problems. Dont go it alone. You take one problem off the top of the pile and she takes the next one. One by one, solve them until you are no longer overwhelmed. More problems may even crop up along the way and mess up what you started. One by one, resolve the problems that crop up and return to the original ones. Sometimes everytime you take a step forward you have to take 2 steps back.

Secondly if you wonder "why is this happening to me" there is a reason. A negative or dark state of mind allows negative or destructive energy to find you like a target. It draws more problems toward you. Doing positive or kind things for or toward others can draw more positive energy toward you. If you have been acting unkindly or selfishly lately this may be the cause of all the negative energy, hence problems following you like a thunder cloud over your head. Kindness begets kindness--if you have evil ways change them and things may go on the upswing for you.

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