I struggle to please everyone, the only one who suffers is me, is there a cure for the way I feel?
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What you describe is codependency - and you can actually recover from it. There are self help books out there that can help, and the thing that helped me the most was going to therapy.
I now live my life, and don't feel as if I am a doormate for any one - unless I consciously choose to be.
You must remember that you cant always please everyone...Strive to please God and he'll show your who's true to you and loyal...
Just realize this honey.no one is out doing things for you...you are probably being used to the nth degree. Generally people are out for themselves...to benefit for their own good...
Stop being a sucker. Just say NO. Once you do it you'll see how easy it'll get. Realize it's your time to do for yourself. Quit letting people walk all over you. Only let those in your life who are willing to help you with this problem. Let yourself be treated for once.
Well, you have to say no to people. Some people may have problems with doing this but after you tell someone know you will feel great. people need time to relax and the best cure for stress is relaxatrion. So take a vacation from all of your duties and try to manage your schedule when you get back!
I have to be very straight with you stop putting other first, you are number one no matter what. I always say if I don't put myself first then who will?? I am not selfish in anyway and will help anyone but if it means that it is going to effect me in anyway that end up hurting then its not worth it. take care good luck
Since you're such a helper, let me put this in words you will understand. Just like they say, If you don't love yourself, you can never love anyone else? Well,,,,If you can't help yourself, how can you help anyone else? Try to tell the difference between those that truly need your help and those that are using you, and only help those that are need. The fact is, you are probably very helpful and sincere which is rare, so most people will flock to that person for help, but honey, loke I said..you have to help yourself first to truly help others.
I know exactly how you feel, I am still dealing with the same problem. The first time I said no, I felt like the most evil person in the world. I still have problems with it. But, as I sit here, in the air conditioning, with an outside temperature of 102, I don't feel quite so guilty. Because I said no this time, I won't get sick. I am learning that saying no doesn't mean I am a bad person. It means I have to choose when to say yes, keeping in mind my health, both mental & physical. You should do the same. Good Luck & Blessings
There is a great book called Positive Personality Profiles by Robert A Rohm Ph.D
I know a little about your problem, I am much the same way. This book discusses different aspects of people's personalities, and helped me to understand and work with my issues, and also helped me understand the motivations of others.
Why are you doing everything for everyone?
Does it satisfy something in you?
So you can say that you are doing everything for everyone else?
How does that make you feel?
Hang on here I'm getting to my point.
If you are doing all this, aren't you letting them treat you that way?
Aren't you saying "Here I can help you so use me what ever way you want!"
Show some independence. People will not only like you, but they will also respect you.
Ok last question!
It is respect that you want isn't it?
read my articles at
http://themeaningisyou.com
You don't need to please everyone... you just need to be yourself... You don't have to care if the dont like you... as long as you are good to them that's the only thing that counts
Well, you could look at it this way:
If you are benefiting the greater good of society, then you are called an utilitarianist (however its spelled).
If you are not benefiting anyone and causing dysfunction to yourself, this is pretty much self-less (not selfish, this is much worse).
Take it from an utilitarianist who has been labeled with an incurable disorder, and labeled as unfit for employment at age 24, yet with a very productive past (3.6 in college, associate's degree same year as high school diploma). These psychs don't always go by what they believe or believe they are supposed to follow. And I've been through about 5 in different geographical regions and states.
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