Advice Please!!?
Question:
My GP thought I had Lyme disease, strep throat and a major sinus infection, but now he realised that after two months of antibiotics, Its not an infection. Its allergic reactions to my medications that 'imitate' symptoms of illnesses.
In addition to this, because of the meds I am having major self-destructive thoughts. I don't want to hurt myself, but am desperate for someone to do it for me. I was told by my doc that this is because of meds - I never acted like this before. I purposely visualise myself being shot or stabbed repaetedly.
I can't see my psychiatrist because last time he made innapropriate remarks to me, and I don't have a backup. In the process of looking.
How do I deal with my self-destructive thoughts, when I'm in between docs, physically sick and my comments about myself insult my family so much that they are angry with me?
Answers:
I hate to tell you this but you would be amazed at what some medicines do to people. Especially the anti-depressants medicines. I have seen friends get more depressed while on them, friends fall asleep all during the day, friends who can't sleep, friends panic attacks get worse, friends who began to imagine all kinds of crazy ideas. The doctors and psy who prescribes these medicine honestly do not know what all the side effects are and when you combine numerous medicines as you are doing then they have no clue as to what they can do to a person. You are the guinea pig for them. So what are your choices. First get off some of the medicines but do it under a doctor's care and do it slowly. Get your life back and then if you need say paxil or something to help you through the day that will be fine. Also READ the side effects of all the medicines you are taking because most of your symptons end up coming from the medicines you are taking and most doctors keep prescribing more medicine to cover up all the side effects. This is a crazy cycle and the only way you can help yourself if take your life back. One thing on your thoughts about hurting yourself, when you mix this much medicine together it can cause you to think things that are not normal. It can cause you to have suicide thoughts or the thoughts of wanting someone to kill you. You will hear voices that are telling you to kill yourself or to kill someone else. These voices are usually from the spiritual world. You will have to fight them by rebuking them to leave you alone.
First of all the doctor has you on too many medications designed to treat the same thing; therefore, that tells me that they are not helping and something very different is going on. From my professional experience it sounds like you have Borderline Personality Disorder and medications will do very little in treating this. You need to see a therapist who specializes in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.
just keep looking for another psychiatrist, it sounds like you need one. don't give up, you will find someone who can help you if you keep looking. it also sounds like you are taking to many medicines that will only supress your emotions and not address the issues behind them. Good luck ♥
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