Grieving, how to cope.?
Question:
just feeling abit down, its been a year tomorrow since my dad passed away, just feel so lost and alone at the moment and dont know how to cope with it all.
Answers:
Have a good cry and tomorrow do something to remind you of your dad. Have a little chat to him, write him a letter, whatever you feel like to feel close to him. It takes a long time to get over someone dying, and I think that even though most of the time, you should try to move onwards, it does us good to indulge in some nostalgia and in a way let out your grief.
aaaaaaahhhhhhhh, you poor thing
its almost a year (25 august) since my mam died, i think the grieving process is much easier if you are a religious person because then you can believe that you will eventually see your family again,
it wasn't easy for me, after she died her husband (not my dad) went into extreme depression, became an alcoholic and tried to kill himself a few times, if you are religi ous you can see the whole picture, death, in some ways, is only the biggining and everything happens for a reason!!
cheer up, you WILL get to see him again!
hi there, first of all i wouldjust like to say how sorry i am for your loss.
i lost my farther when i was 7 every year i get really down still to this day. the best thing i find is by remembering all the good times you had together and looking at photos and talking to other family members basical remanisin ( i think thats how you spell it lol )
it does get a little easy as the years go by.
hope thats a little help xx
I lost my mum 3 years ago and its the hardest thing i've ever experienced.
Take sometime to your self, just to chill and get your head sorted then when you feel a bit better surround yourself with family and friends.
The 1st anniversary is always hard, it does get easier though I still find myself crying suddenly.
Remember your dad is always with you, even though you may not feel it right now.
Jeanimus says it all. That's a great answer.
My dad died a couple of years ago. We weren't terribly close, but we loved and respected each other: a lot, I think.
Now I talk to him in my head, explaining to him what I'm doing. He was a great handyman, a very efficient and capable man. I tell him what I'm doing and why, and use that as a way to talk myself through tasks. It keeps me in touch with him.
He made me, after all. Half of me is him: still, and always will be.
Very sorry about your loss.
Grieving is tough. It's all the tougher on anniversaries, birthdays, ...
Surround yourself with the people who loved him, have a good cry, and, above all, don't think you are not coping : it is normal that you should feel sad. Who wouldn't?
I lost my beloved brother 5 years ago and still feel very sad every time I think of him, which is often, especially on anniversaries, ..!! However, it does get easier with time. You never forget, but little by little, it doesn't hurt quite so much.
I wish you the very best of luck.
Anniversaries suck - my mum died 12 years ago and I still find it difficult. I try to keep myself busy and then in the evening have a few quiet moments to myself. On the first anniversary I planted a tree in her memory - like she lives on I guess. Maybe you could do this tmoro - or something that will be a fine memory to him. Grief is a horrible and unpredictable thing - try to be kind to yourself. Here if you fancy a chat sometime. Also if you go to www.grief.net you can post a live memorial page to your father. I found this very therapeutic. I send my kindest thoughts xx
Things might be a little cloudy now,but...
Even though things look cloudy,
They'll get better soon,
Just remember that it's true:
it takes rain to make rainbows,
lemons to make lemonade,
and sometimes it takes difficulties to make us stonger and better people.
The sun will shine again soon... you'll see.
my friend i know how you feel ,it has been just over a year since my Mum died so we are feeling about the same just now ,but i know that my Mum is now with Dad and they are both happy again ,time will heal as they say but i think we just adjust to our losses ,have a drink and we can toast our parents together
Hi, I'm so sorry for you, I cant imagine what Ill be like when I have to say goodbye to my dad. A year is a long time to miss somebody. I cope with the losses I have had by talking to them, If you believe in spirit your never far away from them, I believe they help me through all the sticky situations in my life, I prefer to talk to them while ironing and doing the daily grind stuff, you'd only find me in the cemetery if the grave needs tidying up. Hope this helps a bit.
Drink a lot, always helps
Sorry to hear your situation. Perhaps buy some diazepam (Valium) online? You can find many pharmacies by running a search on google or other search engines.
Alternatively, source some MDMA (Ecstasy) and sit alone and work everything out in your mind. Sit by your Father's grave on MDMA and make peace with yourself then move on.
I am so sorry for your loss.
My dad died when I was 12 and last year my grandmother who lived with us since before I was born died. Same year I lost my step-dad who was closer to me than my biological dad (I am now 49) and this February my mother died.
I myself had cancer in 2002; and just when I thought the world looked inviting again, all this happened, not to mention losing a number of beloved pets in addition to all that.
It was my Mum's death that was the straw that broke my back. I have never experienced such sadness, and such a deep need for things to make sense. I went through such a depression; it was incredibly intense.
Maybe because it was so intense, it burned out quickly.
She died in February and I started to come out of my depression in June, and now I feel I have accepted what has happened.
I still miss her so much and feel my life has no real meaning without her. I go to sleep every night talking to her in my head and clutching onto a rose amethyst stone; it is the twin of the one I slipped into her casket before she was buried.
It just makes me feel close to her again.
Time does heal. It has been a year for you and it will take more time.
I assume I am much older than you; but also I have been through a lot more than most people ... perhaps that helps in some way?
I really don't know.
Because each death is as painful and sorrowful as the previous; the loss is not lessened. But perhaps the way I deal with it with it all has progressed.
All that lives is born to die; we can only hope that their death is quick and painless. However that is usually not the case; it certainly wasn't for my Granny nor for my Mum.
You don't say how or why your dad died, but in my Mum's case her holding onto life was so brave but also so unfair to her - we selfishly wanted her to live longer but it would have been kinder to her if she had died in November.
At least we were prepared, and I think that often really helps.
I know her spirit played with us for a long time after her passing. Her funeral was her final display of Prima Donna-ship, and had us discreetly giggling.
Celebrate your dad's life. Use the anniversary to have a party for him, with people who remember his humanity and can both praise him and cry and laugh at any quirky characteristics he had.
Just because they are gone doesn't mean you have to stop loving them!
Above all, they wouldn't want you to be so sad. Anymore than they'd want you to be too happy!
Talk to someone close (not in your family might be better - a friend or lover, depending on your age, even a pet!) Tell them all you feel in your insides; in your heart and cry if you need to, laugh if you need to and get angry if you need to, too. Don't vent your anger on your confidante though! It is enough to just know you are still angry, if that is what you feel.
If you can't trust yourself to open up to anyone, write about it. Keep a diary or journal of it all.
Above all, see your dad in his favourite things - is he in that sunrise, or sunset? In the chatter of squabbling sparrows or in the blackbird's song?
In a game of darts or a round of chess?
See him and smile for him because his aura will stay in such things or places eternally, just as it will surround you for ever. You are just too close to yourself and blind with grief to see that.
Let go, and you hold on!
I really want you to feel better tomorrow, and to continue feeling better.
Visit his grave, have a memorial party, even if it is just you. Celebrate his life and think about all the things he taught you; some of the hopes he had for you ... can you continue to make him proud? Yes, of course you can!
You are part of him. He is part of you.
Through you, he lives on.
You are never alone.
You won't be lost for much longer!
You will cope, given time.
Be strong little one and make your dad very proud!
I know just how you feel . I lost my father 4 years ago andthough I will never get over it it is true when they say time makes it easier to cope. All the best Regards Sian
I am sorry for your loss of your dad.
I understand exactly how you feel because I only lost my 81 yr old dad this January gone. He went with leukaemia, skin cancer and was taken with a subarachnoid haemorage on 11th january. I feel it but my mum feels it most because it would have been their 55th anniversay on the 12th May 2007
Even more difficult was on their anniversay, I had the brain haemorage and stroke and was in hospital for five weeks.
My mum nearly lost me but I was lucky.. I am still here.
Coping is hard for all of us, I suggested to mum that she went to bereavement service to talk it through if she needed to but she talks to me instead.It helps her and me too.
Dad`s name was JIM, mine is GILL and mum often calls me by my dads name.
I know not everyone is religeous but you will meet again one day.
My dad carried a purse type wallet and mum gave it to me. I wrote a letter to my dad and I carry it in that purse ALL the time.
Losing a parent IS hard and you are entitled to be upset. Tears heal and so does time. All the firsts are bad times.. first birthday, first Christmas, first anniversary of the passing, everything, so allow yourself to grieve please.
the first anniversary is the worst. my dad passed away 6 yrs ago just before xmas. he had mesothilioma. one day was fit and healthy with no medical problems at all suddenly he was breathless and got worse every day. he died after 6 weeks. it does get slightly less painful but it never goes away i always buy flowers and take to his grave birthdays anniversary of his death and xmas sometimes i buy some to brighten up the home to remind me of him. remember the good things about him . best wishes
well i am here if u want to talk dogmicjoe@yahoo.com
try to do something positive tomorrow.
have you any other family members you can support each other though the day
Visiting his final resting place
Doing something that would make him proud of you
Look at photos and remember the good times
it's Ok to feel sad or cry
sorry to hear of your loss. My littles boys dad died suddenley last week he was only 31 and we not sure now but they think he died in his sleep and i am finding it hard to deal with just stay strong as thats what he would of wanted and you can go to a website called gonetoosoon.co.uk where you can set up a tribute page where u & people he knw and loved can leave him messages it really helps good luck and stay strong
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