I'm really emotional, have trust issues, and am paranoid. HELP!?
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i am so sorry this happened to you. i had something simmilar happen. girls are devils. they really are. the fact that they left you over that is just plain horrible.they should have supported you. as hard as it is (believe me, i KNOW) try and look at them as absolutely not friends. if they did that to you over something that you cannot control, they aren't understanding and they are bad people. you may feel so lonely and upset, but try not to dwell on it. instead of focusing on what they did, think of how you have gained something. you are free from those bitc*hy girls. you can't control the fact that you felt or feel suicidal. they are arrogant and mean. it may not seam that way to you, because you were friends, but look at the situation from someone else's point of view. you share with a friend that you are upset and suicidal. she inforces the feelings and leaves with and takes some other friends with her. now what type of person does that? would you want to be friends with her? NOW? i hope not. things are tough and girls at this age really suck sometimes. although you probably don't feel like it, get out of the house and take a walk with some music. try and think of what you did wrong. NOTHING. you did nothing wrong and shouldn't be upset with yourself. you are the better person and deserve a good life, so try your best to be positive. keep yourself occupied, and at night, when the thoughts really start getting dark, watch a comedy movie or get your mind off of it. It seams like everyone hates you, i have been there, but they don't. you have to find the right people. it will take some time and searching, but try and find people who will undertsnad and be good friends. if people are taking her side, they are just as bad. don't listen to what she said. you deserve friends, more so than them. you may feel alone, but if you put yourself out there, you won't have to. best wishes.
I am not sure how I can help other than by giving advice.
Perhaps you should ask your friends about that, work out your differences and such, in a peaceful manor. The "friend" that told you that you deserved to die and such, that person you should distance yourself from. They are not your friend. Friends support each other, not wish death upon each other.
no suiside. eat cheese cubes.
She was wrong. You deserve to have a meaningful, satisfying life. I was suicidal for a while, but since then I started going to talk-therapy and started taking really good anti-depressants from my doctor, and I don't think about dying as much anymore. You can call 1-800-SUICIDE and they can help you put things in perspective. You don't really want to die...I thought I did, but now I know that things can get better. I also see how much it would have hurt my family and friends. I'm really glad I didn't do it.
These friends don't know anything truly about suicide - in fact, they are probably really frightened by it and have no idea how to react to you saying that. Their reaction was to reject you, which obviously wasn't the best way to treat a friend who is contemplating taking their own life. Your friend sounds like she has a black & white view of the world. Mental illness and suicidal thoughts occur in shades of gray.
Sometimes, it's really hard for people to understand why you think death would be a relief. They have maybe never felt that way or want to admit they have. Regardless, you need help.
Talk to someone you can trust, preferably someone older with experience and ability to get you help. Although it may feel like you're "better off dead" right now, you won't always feel that way. I promise. It's really hard when you're depressed to see a future that isn't negative, but that will change. Get help from someone you trust and for now, forget the people that couldn't support you during this time.
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