Is it ok to just ask one or two of your workmates out for the evening and not the others?
Question:
and they were like well thanks for not inviting us
surely it is ok to just go out with who you want
are they jelous
the reason i put this in mental health is because i thought you would understand how hard it is to tr to be sociable in the first place and then someone comes along and puts a downer on the whole episode
then i panic that everyone hates me because of this
i am paranoid i know
thank you for your answer
xxx
vici
Answers:
Vici, please stop caring about what your workmates think. Go out with whoever you want--it is no business of their's. Stop trying to please everyone, and live your life to please yourself and your partner. Those are really the only two people who matter.
They feel excluded, obviously. If you don't want to hurt their feelings, then you should invite them, too. How much of a bother can they be just tagging along?
You must realize in life you cant make everyone happy. invite who you want, who cares what others think. Just dont be rude about it.
I think it's okay. What you do outside of work is your business and nobody else's. When I've went out with co-workers outside of work, it's only been with people I considered friends, not everyone in the office. The only exception I can see is if it's a going away party for a co-worker or a gathering where something work-related is being celebrated (like maybe your office did something terrific as a whole or achieved some goal that was set, etc.).
I think the person who threw a tantrum about not being invited is both jealous and insecure. I completely understand how you feel like she rained on your parade.
Keep your head up and don't feel guilty. This is not your problem and you didn't do anything wrong.
Well, you are going to be closer to some of your co-workers than others, that's natural. It's more in how you handle the situation. I would invite the people that you would like to hang out with, but would not advertise to everyone. This being said, I'm taking it that you are not in a supervisor or manger role, as this could make things a bit difficult and many agencies have rules against supervisors hanging out with those in which they supervise as this could lead to feelings of favoritism. However, for you to invite a few colleagues to go out for a bit, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Go out and have a good time.
It happens all the time! Sometimes if I am leaving work to grab a bite to eat..I will bring my food back and eat it in the break room..people get SO pissed that I didn't ask them if they wanted anything...First of all, I don't owe anyone anything! I don't expect people to offer or buy my food!
My best friend and I use to work together and whenever we would make plans the other girls would get pissy...the fact of the matter is, it is YOUR life..so do as you please!
Of course it is OK. The only problem I see, was you announcing it. :) Seriously, it is only natural that there will be people with which you will have more in common, and you can't be expected to make a company gathering every time you want to get together with your friends. You can not allow the reactions of these spoilers to bother you. Are you invited to everything they do? They will either get over it or it will drive them crazy, either way, you will be done with it.
You absolutely have the right to have a social relationship with anyone you want to. If those other people are so upset, it's their problem and they probably have self esteem issues. You are under no obligation to invite anyone who you don't feel like inviting. Don't let them intimidate you - you've done nothing wrong. It is your right to pick and choose people you want to be social with. If the people who don't come get snotty, it's definitely their problem. If they want to go out with you, why don't they ask you? You know, women can get so catty, especially in a work environment. Stay strong and don't let anyone make you feel bad about something that is your right to do. You kind of have to develop a thick skin. Good luck, and God Bless! Don't let anyone try to spoil your happiness.
its ok to ask two or one of ur collegues out and not all of them. U r sending ur time with the persons u want to. We do it at work and we dont have problems with each other. Its good not to let them know about it if they r having problems with it. Its not like u r hiding but its ur life and u dont have to let them know about ur personal or social life everyone at work.
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