How do you know if you have an anger problem?
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One sign of an anger "problem" is taking things out on others when you are not really mad at them. For example your order is given to you wrong at a restaurant and sure that is very frustrating but instead of just getting it corrected you really go off on the person. It is often known as the "angry waiter stage". I used to have anger issues and it took a lot of work but I realized that I was projecting a lot of built up anger unto people that did not deserve it and that it was not really directed at or I was not really mad at. I had to work really hard in therapy and also make a conscious effort to handle my anger in healthy ways. Anger is a healthy emotion if handled in a healthy manner. Write down how you are feeling, etc. Do things that relieve stress but that do not include hurting yourself or others in anyway. It does take work and time but things can get better. Good luck~
You are probably addicted to the emotional rush of it. Perhaps you are also pathologically attracted to the guilt you feel later after having acted unlovingly. Sometimes people have a wish to make themselves right and that can only be done by making others wrong. It goes a lot deeper than just an anger problem. You should read the Power of Now because the author, Eckhart Tolle, talks about such things. It might help you at least gain some insights. That is, if you really want a change.
If others are telling you about it or if you notice that you may have a problem, then you have anger issues...
If you are always fighting, maybe it's time to see a doctor. Tell them about what's going on, and maybe it might not truly be an anger problem, but something else...
People will normaly tell you more than once that you have an anger problem. I believe that the best way to avoid getting angery with people is simply not talking as much. It's important not to talk when your mad or else you could make a fool of yourself. Always walk away from the situation cool down so that you can have you can think straight.
Hey Sweetie,
I think you may have just told us what one of the problems might be. Please re-read your question. "I C A N ' T H E L P but argue and fight with everyone". I'm guessing that you probably get pretty stressed some times. The anger is is just an after effect. I think the core problem is the feeling that you don't have control over your feelings. You do have control, you may just need a little help figuring out how. Everybody always says therapy, but I think even just a little life coaching should do just what you need. It takes time to figure out that you control your feelings and that they are not completely involuntary.
It will all work out as long as you're willing to work on it.
Best of Luck,
Saul
Hi, have you ever asked yourself why you feel angry? I honestly feel that sometimes we get stuck in a rut and behave angry long after the event that triggered the anger.
Unresolved issues that need to be addressed and "put to rest" can be a major source of anger.
Maybe keeping a journal of your feelings and why you felt like you did, will help you figure out what is really going on.
Is it a "habit" you've developed? Was there a long period of time that you were angry (during a divorce or other traumatic life event) and you learned to be angry all the time?
Even when our life circumstances change for the better, sometimes our mood doesn't "keep up." Maybe you don't have a reason to be angry.
If you do have problems that are making you feel angry, it is time to address them. Identify what makes you angry and learn some coping skills. Get help from a professional, if that is what it takes. Life is way to short to be angry all the time.
Changing from "offense to neutral" is a lot of work and takes time but you can change your thought process, to react in a less hostile way. Question your behavior. "Was what I said mean or cruel? Did it help or hurt my goals in life?" Give yourself honest answers and you will find the peace that all of so desperately want and need in our lives.
Good Luck to you!
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