I've just found out that both grandma and mother tried committed suicide when they were young.?
Question:
Answers:
i don't think you are wrong for not wanting a child because you don't want the cycle to continue and i do think you need to get some help and break the cycle good luck and may God be with you
My uncle tried to do the same several times when he was younger. It sounds like what your talking about is dysthemia or atypical depression. While depression is hereditary, you still need to get help for it. You don't know what genes you're going to pass onto a child when you have one. You need to be in charge and break the cycle by getting help, that's the only way you will help the situation.
Also, depending on the type of culture your from sometimes these acts were during wartime to show dying for ones country, not a mental illness. Just remember depression is very treatable.
Well, depression is just beginning to be understood, so know it was not selfish. They didn't know. People didn't even discuss it so they probably couldn't even consider the fact that it was genetic.
It's your choice as far as having kids. I have serious depression. I have family members with much milder forms. I want to have kids, but I think I've essentially subconsciously weeded out people who are more likely to be depressed (the recluses, the pessimists, the realists, the people who very clearly have a grey cloud over their head). I would definitely reconsider it if I were to end up with someone who is also very depressed. I can't tell you to not have kids or to have them. That's your choice. I will recomment that you not have them until you're at a good place in your life and your depression is well-managed.
My family comes with a slew of mental health problems as well. I just found out that all of the women in my family from my grandmother down, have been violent.
I debated for a long time whether I wanted to have children or not based on my abusive past. Would I be the same way? Could I do that to my children?
The bottom line is gentics may predispose you to certian things but it does not make it a fact. While your mother and grandmother have struggled they are both alive. Suicide is ultimately a choice that you can choose to make or not. Your illness will impact this choice but it remains a choice. I too have been suicidual and am a firm believer that had I made that choice or were I to make that choice it would be my responsibity and no one else's, although there are things that would have impacted that choice.
Is is irresponsible to bring a child into the world because cancer or some other illness is in your genes? I am sure all of us could find a reason not to bring a child into the world and many do.
My problem is when people bring a child into this world and refuse to inform them, when they are of the proper age so they can be aware of these things.
My life has not always been easy and my parents and I don't see eye to eye on many things. However I am glad that I have a life to live.
Don't forget that environment as well as biology impacts mental illness. One disorder I have is biologically based, the other environmentally based.
I plan to be the first women in my family who is not violent towards her children and who is aware that this violence exists. Whether you have children is up to you, but don't pull yourself out just because of your family history. Most of us could be disqualified according to that.
* I think its a good question.
I have a similar profile. My grandmother ODed on her antidepressant medication.
Here are two articles on depression which will help you make your decision.
http://www.genomenewsnetwork.org/article...
http://www.mayoclinic.org/depression/art...
Basically the articles show that if you have two short genes, you are at increased risk for depression if you had a stressful childhood. There is a genetic test available which will let you know if you are predisposed to depression. It costs $650. The study only shows a 43% depression rate in people with the short gene, but it excluded from study those who had experienced depression excluding about 1/3 of the people with two short genes. Additionally, the study spanned only a few short years, so it appears that the depression rate is 62% and increasing for those with the two short genes. More studies are needed.
I don't think your relatives were irresponsible since a genetic factor had not been found until 2003. Still, you haven't proven the case that your troubles are entirely genetic. If after testing, they are, it isn't necessarily the case that you will pass down this trait to your offspring. If you have two short genes, you will need to find a donor or a husband that has two long genes. If you mate with someone with a long and a short, you can have genetic testing on the embryos in order to find which ones have a long and a short rather than two shorts. You can have those embryos implanted.
My two children were born before 2003, so I plan to have both of them tested. Due to all of the new advances, I am hoping that if they have any problems they can be appropriately medicated.
When you look at this problem on a macro level, it may be that 25% of the global population has two short genes. This means that a lot of people are predisposed to depression. It would be a very large undertaking to ensure that no one is ever born in the future with two short genes.
yes you are wrong just because they are suicidal doesnt mean you have to end up that way it depends whose genes are stronger because i am suicidal and my mom wasnt or my dad so it just happens
There are two ways to think about this - Genetics caused your depression OR you were predisposed to getting depressed and something happened to trigger that depression. I think how you deal with accepting your depression depends on how you look at that. If you think it was caused solely by genetics, than getting help seems hopeless. But if you think something may have triggered your predisposition, than there's a greater chance of recovering.
Having a child is solely up to you. If you can recover from the depression and are capable of offering your child a fulfilling life, than I would think it would be ok. But if you're planning on having a child, and you can barely keep yourself on track, then you might want to think about bringing a child into your life. You mom and grandmother made their decisions to have kids - for whatever reasons they were. And so the decision becomes yours.
It is your decision to have or not have biological children. But as for you, don't even think of suicide, because I know you love yourself too much to end it all.
Take care. Life is difficult for everyone. It was my decision not to have children, just so they would not have to deal with life. The human condition of suffering is difficult to bear. I understand. Some psychological councelling might help, or read some self-help books about your problem.
Hang in there!
I don't believe in that it's all in the genes just because one generation did it. If your parent contemplates suicide or is a drug addict, you can break the cycle.
theres no proof of a suicide gene. so dont blame your ancestors for your own problems. you cant really put the blame on anyone, even yourself. all you can do is find a way to cope with the depression or else get yourself out of it, because being suicidal is not exactly a good thing.
I have a similar situation, with the depression, anyway, it's called dysthymia and there is help for us, both in medication and counselling.
As for the irresponsibility of bringing a child into the world that is (or may be) predisposed to these woes..is it any different than a woman having AIDS, or CANCER, and bearing a child knowing that there is a chance that the child will contract the same disease? I say, if you are of age and want children, and can have them go ahead and bring them into the world and enjoy them while you can and teach them about the possibility that they can "catch" what mommy has but this is the way to deal with it.....
u can't blame your mom, how the hell would she knows it runs in her blood,so as your grandma,i am sure they love u very much,if one day u get marry, u would still want your own fresh n blood, try not to marry a guy with depression, then your child would be fine,and do u need to see a shrink now? there are medicine can help
lots of things can be changed in this modern world.medical world every thing can be cured. so dont worry.if u r depressed go to a docter take the right medicine at right time.for get about the past.life is a celebration and every day enjoy.live in ur presant ok.take care.
It's human nature to survive, that is why whether your Grandma and Mother were depressed, and tried to commit suicide, they still had some hope for their lives somewhere inside of themselves. Hope is the only thing that keeps us going. Depression is passed down among families, the tendency to commit suicide is learned. I am sure you have been getting counseling, hopefully your therapist can shed some light on this for you. The only thing you will pass on to your child is depression, how that child deals with the depression depends on you. Good Luck :)
More Questions & Answers...