Question:
I have never seen a counselor before, but I need to see one now. I was sexually abused as a kid, I have major trust issues and I really don't take rejection very well. I have anger management problems, exspecially when I feel rejected. Last night I lost it, my husband wouldn't kiss me because he didn't want to feel like he was forced to, I was so hurt, it was like tearing my heart out! I got drunk (not something that I usually do), I threw a mirior at the floor and broke it (yep 7 years of bad luck) I hit him and then, well then I really just wanted to grab a knife and kill myself! The only thing that stopped me was that I didn't know how to stab myself that would make me die, then I would end up in a hospital in the psych ward and I am closterphobic (is that how you spell it?) so that would not be good - so what kind of counselor do I need??
Answers:
Look for a therapist who specializes in trauma. Someone who is trained in EDMR might also be a good idea depending on what you are experiencing. Make sure s/he has a license to practice and is someone you respect and believe you could grow to trust.
What you've described sounds fairly typical of post-child abuse. You are not alone, and with commitment, you can get beyond this.
Apologize to your hubby, and explain what's going on, too.
There is a certain kind of counselor called a trauma therapist that help people deal with the trauma in their lives. A licensed social worker can also help. If you know someone that is already going for therapy, ask for their opinion. Call some clinics or private therapists in your area. **** Luck On Your Journey
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