Where can I get help for my 19 year old troubled son? Very serious.?
Question:
He has been working at a local restaurant and has moved in with a co-worker. He's been avoiding me but I saw him yesterday and he had cuts on his arm. After a lot of questioning, he admitted that he's been cutting himself and had been depressed. He also looked terrible and was very emotional. He desperately needs help but I don't know what to do. He quit school and is over 18, so is no longer covered by my health insurance. Are there places for a person like him to get help?
A homeless 19 year old desperately crying out for help??
Answers:
Been there myself. Meth, homelessness, hopelessness. Most people have to hit the bottom of the well before they look up and see a light. (myself included when I found myself in the Texas prison system). Don't let him move back in, under no circumstance do you give him anything, but your love. No food, no money, no help what so ever. He will eventually crash, get into trouble with the law, overdose, become completely homeless. Then he might get some help. I know this sounds harsh, but it is the only way.
When I was on drugs my life was pretty desperate. Not until I got sent to prison did I wake up. Before that nothing anyone did could stop me from using. One more thing, Drug addicts are great manipulators. So be wary
Call doctors in your phone book and ask them about their prices and insurance. He may be able to get a medical card or different insurance. You can also try your Family Physician.
u can call the police and they will escort him to a mental hospital. there they can treat him and make him better though he may hate u for a while he'll get better and one day thank u.
I am sorry to hear about your sons situation. But I do not feel that he will change until he realizes that he needs help. My son is having some of the same issues, but nothing I have been doing helps because he does not feel he's doing anything wrong. He's been in counseling, which is always a struggle to get him to attend. Just hang in there, hopefully he'll com around. Good luck!
He is going to have to be the one to ask for help.Im so sorry that you are in this situation,but you are right in protecting your other children.
There are resources out there - start with a phone call to your local dept. of Human services - they can at least let you know whats available when he comes to you and asks for it.
You are an amazingly strong woman.
But he needs to do it in his own space.You cant force this at all, otherwise it has the potential to bring you more pain.
Also, dont be afraid to reach out and get help for yourself.This hurts you and will leave you with scars.You cant help anyone unless you are truly healthy yourself.And its ok to need help when your in this situation.
Blessed Be
I compleatly understand what your saying. Its really hard when their that age. Theres not much you can do. You can always try putting them in a rehab center for drugs and everything. But one huge thing if he ever comes to asking for money saying he needs if ford food or any thing no matter how much you want to give it to him dont. People on drugs always want more. BUt make sure he doesnt get out of your life to long or else you may loose your son for good. Just keep trying and make sure you raise your other children to know how much wrong he is doing. Im sure you raised a fine son but somtimes things go wrong make sure to never blame your self. And if he refuses to go into a rehab place you may have to declare him incompetent forhis health that way you have to force him to get better. (thats what i did with my daughters anerexia)
Hi!
Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do. It's all up to him. My parents (both of them) were much like your son. My grandparents have done EVERYTHING they can to "help" Mom and Dad. Instead of getting better... they are worse. Only now they are 50 year old "children".
If you decide that you have to change him, it will absolutely ruin your life and the life of your family. You cannot make him change if he does not want to. If he desperately wanted help, he could go to a hospital, or ask around for free medical care, or counseling.
This is not your burden. I am a mother myself, and I know that we feel a very heavy grief when our children are hurting. But at some point we must stop doing for them, and force them to be their own person.
An addict has no reason to change if somebody is always there picking up his pieces. If you have other children, you need to show them that you love THEM enough, to not have the 19 year old around. Anything can happen when a person is high. He could get so paranoid or angry that he seriously injures a person of your household.
Please decide that *you* cannot help *him* fight this fight. He is the only person in the world who is going to lick his problem. The only way to help him is to show him tough love. "You can't come to the house, you can't borrow any more, you can't see your siblings. etc. until you are sober"
You should also look into attending Al-Anon meetings (meeting for people who have family or friends with addictions). Look in your phone book.
There is nothing more you can do.
Good luck to you and your family!
We had a similar situation with my 18 yr old step-son two years ago. He was not welcome in our home or his mother's because of drugs, violent temper, quit school...we had to get "tough" with him...unfortunately, his mother wasn't on board with us trying to get him help. He died of an overdose 2 years ago. Methadone (street) overdose...
Please call your local Department of Social Services, county Mental Health Department, hospital social services...find out your options for your son. There ARE places he can go (even with no insurance)...however, because he is considered an "adult" in the eyes of the law, there is little you can do to "make" him get help. Having someone involuntarily committed takes a whole lot these days.and if he is no danger to himself or others (that you can PROVE) there may be little you can do...
You CANNOT live his life for him...you CANNOT make him "better"...He is going to have to WANT to make changes...and you cannot put YOUR life on hold because of his mistakes and bad choices. Tough as it is..I know...you are going to have to let him hit "rock bottom".your are doing a brave, and wise thing by not allowing him to live with you...he'll NEVER get over this if you enable his behavior...
Stand your ground.love your son.offer help when he seems to be open to it...but continue the "tough love"...
I hope and pray the best for your family...I know it's tough...PLEASE hang in there!
How is he calling out for help?If he hates himself,what can you do?
From your description,you will need to guard those that are left at home from a maniac.Do not think that he will not bring down others with him.The sad fact is that he has the power to destroy others but not save himself.
This is out of your control.He can destroy everything that he touches,including you.
Your power is to isolate him from your family.You are not in control of this.
After reading your posted question and details, I am inclined to believe that he is suffering from severe depression, and that the drugs are being used as a mask to hide the internal negative emotional pain. However, in this current state of mind due to the drugs and depression, he probably doesn't even realize how he appears to other normally functioning people. He needs an intervention in order to let him know that people do care for and love him, and that if he wants and needs help that his friends and family members will be there for him. The worst thing for a person with depression is to feel alone.
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