I need help, please! I don't know how to deal!?
Question:
Part 1
Right now my dad isn't here, he's in another country for work for about a month. Now that he's gone, my mom has to take care of everything. He sends her the money and she takes cares of the rest (since she doesn't have money, and can't work because she doesn't have a good college degree). She just told me yesterday that for my birthday (which was last week) she was the one that bought half of my presents from all her saved up money, and now she doesn't have anymore money from her savings. I hated that.
Answers:
ah im so sorry! i hate this is happening 2u, ur such a nice person!! it seems lik the worst stuff happens 2 the best ppl..
well, i dont lik that guy living w/ u one bit. >.< he needs 2 get his butt out, now. about ur brother, sit him down and explain wats going on. it may b hard 4 a young kid 2 understand, but he atleast shud kno. most likly if he knos the situation his fam is in, he will try 2 stop acting lik that.
i don kno wat else 2 say. =[ pleaz DONT cut urself. that makes me sad 2 hear ur hurting urself. if u cant c a therapist, try talking 2 ur closest friends, they WILL understand. and if all else fails, talk 2 me. ill always listen. =]
death_dancer92@yahoo.com
email me. i hope ur situation gets better. <3
Yer right, i dont like reading.
Ohmy.
Well for one my love, you are old enough to get a job. Help out. Try flipping burgers, or working at a mall for Pete sakes. Now about this room mate, talk to him, or talk to a professional on getting him out.
Talk to your brother love. Explain to him about to financial difficulties that you are having at the moment, and that he can't get everyhting he wants. It's really not that hard to figure out love.
But I understand that you are overwhelmed, and in desperate need of help, but it will work out in the end, just go see someone about it, therapists really do help though.
Trust me.
You need to tell your brother about what's going on with your mom and roommate. At ten, trust him to understand for the sake of your family. He loves his mother as much as you do--and he will respect you for explaining it to him. Don't tell him that he needs to stop asking for stuff, because he'll realize that on his own. If you can, try to get a job somewhere; if things get really out of hand with your roommate and he gets overly crazy, stand up to him. Tell him that he offers to pay for everything so he should stop offering if he doesn't like it. Hopefully, you won't ever have to do that, but if you need to, don't hesitate. Most likely, though, changing your brother will help the most.
If you don't think a therapist will understand.. why would anyone else know what to do to help you? I think your best bet is not to keep it all bottled up and talk to your mom about the roommate and go see a therapist. They can really help you out, even if you think they wont understand. They've seen it all. And good for you for not cutting anymore! That's a great accomplishment.
Well, number one, the a**hole, I mean housemate has GOT to go...either your mother doesn't have enough self-esteem (which is why she allows the verbal abuse from him and your brother) or you need to tell your father and have him do it--even from far away he can call the police and have this person removed from the home...if he doesn't and someone else calls, the police might remove you and your brother (depending on his age) as well. There has got to be someone you can talk to--a trusted teacher, school counselor, minister, neighbor--what have you...it sounds like you need someone to talk to...I am not in your shoes to see all the nuances of the relationship between this guy and your mother, so I don't know if he is a pseudo-husband in your mother's subconcious or if he is expecting her to drop your dad for him, but it sounds awfully fishy, the way he verbally abuses her and she allows it...
I would say, call your dad and tell him what's going on. Express everything you just wrote about on the internet, to him.
I would also tell this all to your mom, and try to figure it out. If your little brother is being a brat (which little kids are known for being at that age), then try to set him down and explain things in a "kid-friendly" format. Or have your mom help.
And why is this guy in your life? Tell your parents how you feel.
Best of Luck and hopefully all this gets figured out!
P.S. Cutting yourself is not the answer, talk to someone. It doesn't have to be a therapist, it could be just a trusted adult, like a counselor at school.
( so you know im also 15, if that helps in any random way)wow. well the first thing i would do is sit down with ur brother and have a heart- to heart chat with him. dont explain the relationship between ur mom and that guy because that will just get him all fustraded and stuff. just explain to him that right now mom cant afford all that stuff he wants even though mom loves him, very very much.
okay now ur mother and that guy, that horrible son ov a bi+ch *** ***:
well if your mom is strong enough to end the whole thing and kick him out cudos to her. but from wut i read i dont think she would do that. so try not going out to dinner, and instead maybe you or/and your mother can learn to cook some cheap easy meals, and maybe you can try to clean to. and i know it will be hard especaily beacuse i bet you still want a socail life, and like you also have studying and homework but try your best. try to give your mother more confedince so eventualy she can be strong enough to kick the guy out. or, you know, wait till ur dad comes by. you can always mesage me if u have another question.
honey you can not keep cuting your self that is no solveing it would probably realy hurt your ma more and it would be worse for her
so your pop is away and sends $ to help good thing the $is for her to help raise you
sounds like the room mate was good at first then he turn the table's and became demanding
well that hurts you
you are 15 take mom to the side away from this man and tell her how you fell about him the man is to demanding it hurts you
sounds more then just a room mate but she has to be the one to deal with the demands makeing a choice to a cheaper place could be talk'd about but would she be willing to do that you do not know
hope he is not abuse to you you need a education in this world to make it to get out on your own one day you could talk to your little brother and see if he would consider to slack in some the things he is asking for ---
your mom for your birthday out of love yes she is going to get you something do not fell bad be gratefull mom loves me this much forget what the mans says he brings you down do not let him do that to you he probably has little money to
this world now is very depressing to people even with the education it is hard -but you got to have the faith and the wellingness to go on knowing things will get better faith in you faith in the creator in this world we swimm or drown do not let your self drown leo ! you are to strong for that happy belated birthday .you got to go thru some hurts to learn in life call'd tuff love .leasons of life .all will never be smooth all will never be bad it has to balance like yin & yang acording to the chinese
so son cheer up be strong do your best when you do your best what else can be ask'd ? maybe talk to your mom but not around this fellow and ask her not to say nothing to him and talk to your brother but do not give up it would kill her ---the hurt .love you as number one make something of your self and know things will be better just hold strong
Speak out and tell him to knock it off. Plus call your dad!
Quit cutting yourself it's not gonna help anything.
hello there. i know you're not at the stablest of times, but hear me out. that guy that you call your roomate does not belong there. sure, he helps out your family and such, but that does not give him the right to just go and take over for your father. kick him out! if he refuses, call the police on him. just becuase your dad has not been there for a while, it doesnt give him any privilege to go and do whatever he wants, only to expect to get paid back or to ge some kind of credit. he is acting like as if he is the man of the house. if you ask me, i think he really does not belong there. as a matter of fact, you should be the one in charge, since you're the next oldest male in the household, besides youir dad. tell him to get out. period, no questions asked...
about your birthday predicament... i would say to pay your mother back for all that she's done for you. sure, she loves yuo and all, but dont you think that she went a little overboard with all the gifts? i mean, i know it was out of love, but since what u said about your bro being spoiled and all... anyway... if she bought you lots of gifts, pay her back by buying her something to show your appreciation. get a job somewhere. it soesnt matter where you get one, as long as you get at least a little money out of it. do some chores for some neighbors, mow their lawns, do anything that will help you out. help her in any way you can, becuase if you dont, the guilt will not leave you. also, you can make little crafts for her, just to show your apperciation, and to make her day that much brighter. your mom loves you very much. its time you showed her how much you love her back...
if your brother is being a brat and wants everything, tell him to stop it. i have an eleven year old little brother that is exactly the same. when me and my family had some financial problems like yourself, he would just keep asking my dad for a bunch of useless crap that he didnt really wanted. his love for my parents are conditional, which is sad becuase the only thing my parents can do to get his attention is buying him lots of stuff. tell him to stop it!! speak up! dont be afraid to say anything that might get them mad!! i my case, i tell him to knock it off, and since he knows how i get when i get mad, he will stop. show him what you're made of. if you do, it'll all unfold into you becoming a better leader. talk to him as well. even though he is a little kid, it does not mean that he does'nt have a mind of his own. talk to him, and be clear in what is going on. im sure he'll understand. his ignorance in this sitaution can become fatal.
call your dad. it is one of the best things you can do at the moment. explain to him exactly what is going on. he will listen. tell him what is going on, especially how that roomate of yours is treating your mom. also, tell her to stop taking whatever the roomate is telling her!! she has no right to be listening to that man. tell her to kick him out asap!!
Wow, this is a very sensitive topic. First of all, this guy that living with you guys. It seems that he is trying to take your father's place whether or not he is interested in your mother, which I am sure is not the case. You need to step in and be the man around the house. Obviously, this guy is trying to run you guy's life and be the man of the house. That is unacceptable! If this man is paying rent then he needs to worry about his part of the rent and not worry about your familie's life. If he is not paying rent then you need to take him aside and tell him, "look, we are you letting you stay here because we wanted to help you because you're a close friend of the family.but if you continue to disrespect me, my brother, or my mother.then you're going to have to find another place to live. You have no right behaving the way you do especially in this house. Either respect this house or find someother place to live". Tell him that or flat out tell him to move out. It's interfering with your family.
I'm sorry to hear that you're mother used up all of her savings for your birthday present. I know heart was in a good place.and you shouldn't feel bad. You didn't make her buy it for you. Talk to your mom and tell her that you appreciate all of the amazing gifts that she got you..but that she didn't have to spend all of her savings on it. Be the man figure of the house and talk to your little brother. Tell him that he needs to appreciate his presents and cherish them because it's going to be a while that your mother buys him more presents. Tell him for exchange, he should do chores around the house and help your mother out. I hate to pressure you but you have to step up and be the man of the house....before someone else does. You can't let your family fall apart. I know your dad isn't around.and for whatever reason that is...you have to fill in for him.
For now, if you're old enough to work.get a job to help around the house..but for now, focus on getting that guy out of the house ASAP! It's important.it doesn't matter how well you've known this guy. YOU'RE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE! OWN IT!
Don't expect too much from you're mom..she has a lot on her plate considering that she is temporarily a single parent.
Good luck and God bless!
PLEASE DO NOT HURT YOURSELF OR ATTEMPT SUICIDE. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO HAVE IT A LOT WORSE THAN YOU. IMAGINE HOW YOUR MOTHER WILL FEEL IF SHE FOUND YOU DEAD IN YOUR ROOM? IMAGINE HOW SHE WOULD FEEL. SHE WILL SUFFER SO MUCH. YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BROTHER ARE ALL SHE HAS. DON'T BE THINK SUICIDE IS AN OPTION! DON'T TAKE THE COWARDLY WAY OUT. YOU'RE A MAN! GOD LOVES YOU AND HE WILL MAKE THE WORSE THINGS INTO A WONDERFUL THING. THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE. PLEASE DON'T TAKE YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE AWAY. EVERYONE HAS A PURPOSE HERE IN LIFE..AND I BELIEVE YOUR PURPOSE IS TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR MOM AND MAKE CHANGES AROUND THE HOUSE.
dont cut or kill yourself.. its not helping. when you are able to work, then work, but its not your fault.. and your brothers roomate does sound spoiled and your moms trying to the best she can... tell the person that complains that he pays for everything that he didnt ask for you guys to pay, and that he doesnt take place of your dad.. when your dad comes back why dont all of you sit down and talk .. and i go to a theripest.. even if she doesnt understand totally it feels better telling someone out of your family so you dont feel that you put more guilt on your family.. i really would see if your insurance covers a counculor, because even if you dont think it helps it does.
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