Repost : Hi,I had a meltdown in front of my whole family and now I don't know what to do?

Question:

OK, I asked my mom if I could plan a dinner party at her house for my daughter’s visit in town. She said yes and we plan a nice quiet dinner with the family. It all goes well and then she had more food and a birthday cake delivered. Now the room is loud, the kids in party mode, and she starts to push my buttons. I jump into defensive mode and tell her no, just like I’ve done for years over the same issue. She keeps on me and we have this big fight in front of the whole family. I’m yelling at her like I’m 16 again! It only ends because I get so stressed that I have to leave the house. Being the professional she is, I’m the one that comes off as crazy. I’m a bit claustrophobic and hate loud noises and then she rips open old scars! I just had a meltdown! Now, I’m so embarrassed that I never want to see any of them again. That’s fine with me. My problem is has all the changes I’ve made to better myself been a lie? It sure looks that way. Who am I if I’m not the person I thought I was?

Answers:
It seems to me that the changes you're making to better yourself are working, simply for the fact that you acknowledge your "meltdown" (if only to yourself). Having a family doesn't mean that you have to have a close relationship. It's nice when that can happen, but it's not always possible. If you have family members that you value (their opinion of you), call them, acknowledge your "meltdown" and your regret about it. If they can't accept that, then, oh well. At least you tried, and you can move on. Hang in there, and try to let go of the relationships that are so destructive to you (as much as possible). Focus on what's good in yourself, and in your life. The rest will fall into place, one way or another.

Don't worry about it, anyone with a mother should know your pain

It is very important that you feel good with any progress that you made.

The past is over and done with. Move on.

No one can push your buttons unless you let them. It is all about how you think, feel and choose to behave. Only you can control your mind.

Go on and continue the progress you are making.

If you feel you still need training then get your doctor to refer you to a cognitive or neuro therapist. They specialize in training you to control thinking, feeling and how you behave.

For more information see my weblog.
http://themeaningisyou.com

You are still you know matter what. It is OK to get mad. Like you said your buttons were pushed and then the anger irrupted. People say things when they are mad sometimes. Give yourself a break.
When or if you ever feel like you want to apologize then just do it. The situation is over and done with. Things were stressful, and she provoked you. And it always takes two to tangle.

Family get togethers can be intensely stressful. You shouldn't be embarrassed or feel that you're crazy. Even the most put together person has their limit.

Explain to your family that the stress got to you and you just had to leave. And now that you know what your limit is, don't let yourself be pushed that far again.

You just had a relapse.

"Relapse should not be viewed as a failure; it is part of a learning process that eventually leads to recovery," says Susan Merle Gordon, Ph.D.

- that quote is for alcoholism, but can apply to anything

Repost : Hi,I had a meltdown in front of my whole family and now I don't know what to do?

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