Why do I act this way?!?
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I think you act this way because, like the other person said, you repress your anger when around other people and feel the need to let it out around your family, those you feel comfortable enough with to let them know exactly how you feel. I sometimes carry on this way, in a sense, I am also the baby (or was the baby for a long time) and my family seem to think that that is the reason I act like a deranged monkey, throwing tantrums (though not really a tantrum and not often) and the like. I think it may just be the hormones that happen to not know what they want to make you feel, or how they want you to act.
your turning gay..
Understand that adolescent age are impulsive trying to find himself. You will ou t grow this attitude as you go along especially when you study about Jesus.
You keep your emotions bottled up when you are outside of the family settling because it isn't socially acceptable to have random outbursts. However, when you are within the comfort zone of your house where the back of your mind knows that you will not be harshly judged, you let loose more and all that bottled up emotion comes out.
Ask yourself if there is a lot of pent up aggression deep inside you due to things that make you angry that you always suppress because you don't want outbursts.
Try and find a way to vent your anger other ways and you won't get these outbursts because you wont' have so much aggression and anger festering inside you waiting for a moment to vent out.
It sounds like you are a perfectionist! As if you want everything to be done your way or it's not good enough. I'm the same way a lot of times. I realized I'd rather have things get done the "wrong way" than to have them not get done at all, or for me to have to do EVERYTHING... I'd rather have the help in the end! Takes a lot of weight and stress off your shoulders.
I've found a lot of FlyLady's advice to be incredibly helpful. I started following her program when I was in high school, but I know she's also got a "student control journal" you might find helpful. I'm including that link in the source for you to check out if you're interested. :)
You act this way because it is "learned behavior"; it is what you have grown up to expect and to do. It would help you in life to
"unlearn" that behavior. It will never help you in real life. Anger is a negative emotion and projecting it on someone else is harmful.
Hi there,
I know I don't know you, but I'm proud of you anyway for knowing within yourself that this is not appropriate behavior.
That is the first and hardest step in changing it.
14 is a tough age. been there, done that. It just might be those lovely changes you're going through that's giving you a short fuse. You seem to be concerned that you only go off on your family, but that is just a matter of familiarity. You know they will still love you no matter what.
If you are aware of how you are feeling in the moment, just try and stop yourself, think to yourself "is this really how I want to be acting?" if the answer is no, try taking a deep breath and consciously try and relax. If this fails and you find yourself lashing out, make sure you apologize. Not only does it help smooth things over with your family, it reinforces to you that you acted inappropriately and strengthens your resolve to do better next time.
Give it some time, changes do not happen overnight. But if you find your anger is getting worse, it might be good for you to talk to a professional counselor. Sometimes it helps just to talk to someone. And they will be able to give you some other pointers on how to control your behavior.
There's also a small possibility you've got something going on inside your head that only medicine can fix. I do.. It sucks but it isn't the end of the world. Just like people who are diabetic need to take insulin, some people don't make enough of certain chemicals in their brain to control their moods.
I hope I've offered some sort of help and good luck!
Could be hormones! My husband at age 47 still reacts this way! You're a strong person for admitting your problem and for wanting to change it! Good attitude to have! Try looking inot Zen - changing your view points on life, may be all it takes. Relax and remember the essents is at ease. (My husband has anger issues from his childhood and a very bad accident that took the life of his friend) but I truely believe if a person wants to bad enough, they will change! Do not harbor feelings and if something uspsets you voice that in a low tone with control you culd look into anger management as well on how to control anger there are lots of sites with this helpful info on them best of luck to you.
Because you're a kid and you don't like other kids bothering your things. This is normal.
Don't know that I can say why this happens to you, or to anyone else because everyone gets angry at someone every now and again. You say, you are the youngest of 2 children, is there any favoritism shown between your parents and the 2 of you---like, your older brother getting special privileges or getting treated better than you? sometimes just the fact that he's older and (maybe) gets treated a little different than you(as in the younger) is enough of a trigger,or the fact that maybe he can do,touch, or have access to ANYTHING in the house including your stuff, but if you touch anything of his you get in trouble.
Anyway, I think I said all that to say this---you, for sure, and maybe the entire family might benefit from some Anger Management Classes..This would help you to learn how to channel or release your anger in a way that is maybe constructive instead of it possibly becoming destructive to the entire family.
I hope all my rattling has made sense to you and the advice helps.
well you might just be hitting puberty lol >.<
I can certainly understand your reaction to your brother touching your stuff. We all hate it when our siblings try to touch our stuff and "borrow" it without our permission. It's an invasion of privacy and we feel violated, even if the item is something trivial. As with your parents not doing things the way they should be done.. hmm.. thats tricky. I guess it depends on what they're doing.. Like not making dinner the way you like it?? Not doing things right away when you ask?? Maybe there's another issue involved - like you feel like they're treating you like a little kid... or don't take your opinions seriously.. Or maybe you're upset about other stuff going on in your life, that you have no control over, and are taking it out on them.
control yourself.
We have a society that encourages us to correct the behavior of others (let's face it, the governments never going to do it). The first thing we need do is get angry and then we will correct the offending party. Look how everyone pounced on Lindsay, Brittany and Paris. LOL
I feel that we have gone overboard and the result is road rage and all the other rage syndroms going on. There is no shortage of people willing to step forward and pretend to be offended by something.
A little anger is ok if it corrects a safety issue or prevents damage. But just for its own sake it can be destructive.
Some is human nature and I observe that in my two grandchildren but doesn't the following line say something about even that?
"Human nature is what we were put here to rise above"
from The African Queen
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