I think my dad has dementia I don't know how to get him to see the dr he's v/touchy at the best of times
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Call your local hospital or mental health clinic and ask their advice for removing your father from your home. I have been in your situation and the best way to handle it is to let professionals handle it for you. There is no reason for you or your Mum to remain in a dangerous situation. Do not feel bad, at the very least you are protecting yourselves from a danger he wouldn't want to be putting you in, at the most anyone willing to have you remain in a dangerous situation does not love and care for you the way they should.
find a doctor that will come to your house to see him, without his notice or consent.
Deanna is totally right. Even the mildest of Alzheimers patients tend to progress to violence/acting out. You need to get help BEFORE that happens.
He is 83 years old. If he is abusive and you need to get the police involved you may call 911 and let them know the issues and if they can help. Otherwise Pick your battles and leave him alone.
You definitely want to talk to a doctor. Alzheimer's changes more than memory. My mom's friend who was not aggressive, became very aggressive and beat up her husband. My friend's dad who was always a cheater, sexually attacked his caregivers. There are therapists that deal with senior issues and perhaps the doctor can give you a referral.
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