It's not the fact that we've ended things that bothers me..?


Question:
it's the fact that we ended things on such a bad note that depresses me. I've pretty much made up for everything I did wrong except one thing and she still refuses to talk to me. I just want my peace of mind back but this whole break up is weighing me down. help!

Answers:
You cant force the pace of someone else's recovery, as I have discovered through experience. I think that for now, you have to consciously make an effort to let go and do what is good for you. If that means turning your back for a while on someone who you still care about, so be it. You can only hope that she will understand.

And if she needs the space and time to recover, grant it to her. Give it to her with love, say in your mind, I am giving you this because you need it.

In the final analysis, I think the test of a solid relationship is whether it survives a break up and you can still respect each other, in thought, word and spirit. Forgive her and forgive yourself, you are both human.

Its not easy, I myself have lost not just a lover and a friend, but she took many of my friends with her by telling them horrible things about me.

But I am alive, I have people I love and trust, and most importantly, I believe in myself and my ability to care for others.
Sometimes things end in a really sucky way. It's horrible to see something that was so beautiful at one point turn so ugly. When my best friend 'broke up' with me, she IMed me when I was at the hospital visiting my grandmother who was very ill. Sometimes people don't handle things the right way, and it does suck, but remember that things will get better. Break ups take time to heal, but I find that self-help books really help... try "He's Just Not that into you," "It's Called A Break-Up Because It's Broken," and "Face it, You weren't that into him either." Hope you are doing well, and I assure you, you will be fine :) Go out for a run, or some ice cream. Take care of YOU!
When you've done all you know to do then just move on. One last thing you might do, since she won't talk to you, you could write her a letter telling her how sorry you are for anything that you did wrong and ask her forgiveness, then you can mail it or you don't have to.just getting the feelings and emotions on to paper and out of your system should help you to be able to move on.
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