How do you escaped child abuse and gain self-esteem?
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Hi, I have a slightly different perspective on this. Usually abusers don't stop. Not common for him to beat on you for years and then quit 3 years ago. That would put you at high risk for it to happen again. Not sure about where you live, but here, one call to the cops and he would be in jail where he should have been put 3 years ago. If it happens again to you or your Mom, call the cops...period. Was there any other abuse ?
You have some classic symtoms that could be PtSD, etc and in any case the trauma any of us endure usually get stored away in a primitive part of the brain, where they are stored...so we can endure the trauma. Because we haven't "processed" the trauma, it causes a host of signs and symptoms that can't usually be resolve without help from a therapist. EMDR has worked well for me and others.
You need to understand that yours is a classic case of co-dependancy.Nobody will call for help because of an excuse..."he isn't always that way" or ? That cycle has to be broken.
As mentioned before, tell a school councilor, talk to Human Services(Child Services) The verbal abuse needs to stop and be reported to anybody that will listen.
Talk to the cops and ask question? Get proactive. Tell Dad you aren't going to allow anymore abuse cause it's wrong and you have too much personal respect and pride to allow it(and believe it).and maybe tell your Mom she should feel the same.
The worse that could probably happen is another case of physical abuse from Dad, in which case you do the right thing, call the cops, he goes to jail and the system should hold him accountable...and get him some hlep...and protect you.
Sorry if this sounds harsh. Sometimes that's what it takes to break the co-dependant cycle.
Tale some control and you will feel better. Find out about local laws, entities that will help..and know none of it is your fault.
PS, EMDR really can be a powerful tool to free you of the all the buried trauma. Email or Im if you like
Oh my, I am so sorry this is happening to you. Please ask your mom to take you to counseling so you can learn to deal with your dad if your mom isn't gonna leave him. Sounds like your mom (and obviously your dad) needs it too, but I bet your dad is like mine, and never saw that he was at fault for any of the abuse he dealt out. God bless you.
Also - Please call 911 anytime he threatens you physically
You may want to contact this web site.. has been helpful to similar cases; http://www.geocities.com/the_inner_searc...
Take it one day at a time. Finish school. Get financial aid and go to college. Leave all the crap behind you.
counseling. and a lot of love and encouragement from friends who are honest and dont let me down, and support me when im up and down... and lots of laughter! its the best medicine. we have that in common honey, please feel free to email me ANYTIME you need someone to listen or anything... dont let them bring such a wonderful bright good person bring you down... you ARE loved! trust me... HE is the problem, not you and he's bringing your mom along for the ride. PLEASE ANYTIME! IM HERE. ITS WHAT I DO. dont go thru it alone. please..
I'm 17 and had the same problem until about 6 months ago when I beat my dad to within an inch of his life and dragged his concussed drunken @ss to the hospital. If your mom is still around and isn't doing anything about it, shes just as bad as your dad and should be sickened by herself. But since your 15 and a girl and not nearly as big as your dad, use a baseball bat if he hits you again. You have to stay true to yourself you know your not nothing don't listen to him. If its as bad as you say it is you need to get through to your mother and make her realize how bad it is. Both of you pack your bags and just leave. If you need to get out of the house quick just go to a friends house that will help you. NOBODY has the right to hit you or your mother, NOBODY!
one day at a time; but first, you are not to blame at all ; there is no blame with a child; you start by not letting anyone steal your thunder any more; you stand up for yourself ; there is no one like you and that is special ; you say it to yourself daily until you can feel it and mean it; people who need to abuse others feel poorly about themselves and do everything in their power to try to make others feel as bad as they do inside; it has nothing to do with you; it is their problem that they are trying to inflict to make themselves heal; don't let that cancer into your mind or heart ; you deserve better; believe in yourself !! There is no better friend to you than you!
Hm.Sound a ...little familiar.
Counsiling,remember its not your fault.Leave it behind you.Your 'dad' has a problem.Your mom needs to leave.Get counsiling.And theres the sure-fire way.God.
Theres nothing normal about him.
Literally put it behind you.
I have been saving this for just for you.
I too was abused. Please don't tell anyone, its our secret.
And you know I have so put it out of my mind, I have not thought about it in years.
Until I was writing an article this morning.
See it on my website http://themeaningisyou.com
If you are focused on the trauma or abuse of the past you are allowing that memory and the horror of those events to crush your wonder and curiosity of living in the moment.
You are giving up living now to live in a memory of the past, where you are powerless to change anything.
You can only change what is in your mind today, what is here and now right in front of you.
And, you can make plans today for what you want to do tomorrow.
If you choose to live in the past, you will only have regrets tomorrow. Or,live your life today and each day in the joy you deserve.
So choose wisely.
You are still a child. And it is up to your mother to protect you and herself from this sort of abuse. You should not be in this environment.
Talk to a school counselor, you need out of there. I am so sorry this is happening to you. there is a way out though, and I think your going to have to be the one to get it for yourself.
Your mom is not helping and that is sad. She is the victim too, but you need her to be a parent, not allow it to continue
You poor thing. I think I was also abused as a child, but more like put downs not physically. Does your mom work, in other words can you both move out. Maybe if your mom had some therapy she could leave? I too have had low self esteem my whole life.but you getting beat up, that is unacceptable. I know that you say he does not do it anymore. I think some intense therapy would be good for you. I am going for therapy. I think it is helping me, it's difficult to tell because I have not been going too long.
Will your mom go to therapy? Even if she does not move out it will help her deal with your dad and maybe get some self esteem and be able to move out one day.
Will your mom let you got to a therapist? Let me know I think this will help you.
Do you take any medication for depression or your mon...just wondering? because i do.
Dianne
If you think you are in physical danger, ever call the police or tell a counselor.
You can definitely go on and have a successful , wonderful life and develop a good self esteem with counseling and doing positive things. But I just feel it's going to be hard to do that when you are living in that negative situation. Maybe you can all benefit from family counseling and thru that your dad will realize the negative impact he's having on you.
But I wouldtalk to a school counselor, because your dad sounds like he is emotionally abusive and the fact that he used to hurt you shows that he is a child abuser. Do you think you would be better off living with someone else?? If so, maybe you can talk to a relative or call the child abuse\neglect hotline. But I would talk to a school counselor right away and tell her exactly what you told us. That isn't fair you have to go thru that and it's not fair your mom allows that. She is supposed to protect you. No matter what excuses she makes for your Dad, he is in the wrong, and so is she.
i'm sorry to hear that, i don't know how to help to escaped child abuse but i kno about gaining self-esteem
this resource might be useful for you
http://www.self-esteemnow.com/index.htm?...
After being hit: you should go to the hospital. Most telephone directories provide phone numbers for domestic violence hotlines and justice squadron tip lines. You need to exercise more caution when using the internet. If you have a job then go to the Zoo (lions, tigers, bears). If you're planning on hurting people: so sorry to read about your dilemna.
It seems to me that perhaps you have known someone that you could talk to. It would be better to talk to that person (a social worker) for proper guidance. A lot of young women choose to attend school, or realize that some of "what life dealt" warrants escape from an "ordinary life." We could hammer out the details, but that kind of escape from the ordinary is unacceptable. Stay away'way from drinking-driving, drugs, blah..blah. How much advice do you need from a Yahoo! ?
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