Low self esteem/confidence??
Question:
Answers:
I can sympathize with you, since I went thru that when I was
young up until my Sophomore year. And that was when I came out of my shell. But considering you have someone to
blame and not yourself, stop blaming yourself, and lift your
chin and be proud of what and who you are. I know, it's easier
said than done. But you can do it, even if you have to reinvent
yourself to be someone different.
Start with telling yourself that you aren't going to take the
same BS from anyone you took from your boyfriend. Who in
the heck did he think he was, that he made you feel less of a
person than you are? Oh I have known a couple like him in my
young life. They are beyond the word, "jerk". You can't control
the guy, but you can control how you feel now about yourself.
So it's time you took a good look at how you can make some
changes in you and for you.
Start with changing your appearance tomorrow. Go for a
free facial or make up session at a dept. store. Where they
will use their products on you and give you a makeover. If you
want to try another makeup co. another day, try someone
else. Spend a girlie day by yourself and just for you. Call it a
'reward day' if you need an excuse. Reward yourself for getting rid of that jerk would be good for starters.
Try on something new you can wear to school and buy it if
you like it well enough. Do your nails or have your nails done.
Buy a gooey ice cream sundae or eat something really
pleasureable. Do all the things you probably would not splurge on, and do them all in one day.
Then when you've done something about your outward
appearance to make yourself look better, you should feel
better too. Then start on your inner self. Go to the library and
start looking for books to build your confidence. And read to
actually learn what you can do to do just that. You can also
repeat to yourself til you believe it, that you are a great person
worth knowing and loving and you have alot to share with the
world around you. Each guy you meet and may have a re-
lationship with will be a stepping stone to finding the right
person who you will share your life with. You will learn from
your mistakes, as you must learn from this last one. You will
not fall for a controlling guy again. Or one to talk down to you,
or make you embarrassed or one who disrespects you. For
you've already been there and done that, to not repeat yourself, haven't you? So maybe the next guy will not be the
type in love with himself, or Gods' gift to women as this one
probably did. You might even go for the brainy type that is
more quiet and reserved. You might meet over a book in the
library or at a computer station, or even a magazine rack. But
you won't be looking and he won't either, but you'll just happen
to walk into each others' life and you'll strike up a friendship.
And relationships that start out as friends are usually long
lasting. And often don't disolve, as the lover types will. You've
got alot of living to do, and lots more males to associate with
before you find the right guy who for once will treat you as his
equal. So don't fall into the doldrums. The guy isn't worth it.
No guy is. Not even if he's your husband. You never ever let
a man take control of you. He can claim your heart, but he
can't claim your soul. So remember that always. Be inde-
pendant,and self reliant always. And you'll never go wrong.
And males will always find you interesting when you are that
way. Because you'll always be a challenge that will keep them
interested and you interesting.
Now lift your chin, and open your eyes and get rid of that
houndog look. Smile and the world will soon be smiling with
you. Greet people with a smile at school, say hello in the
halls to people you don't even know. Soon when they see you
they'll smile at you first when they recognize you for your
friendliness. In order to make friends, you have to be open
to friendships and that is what you need now, more than ever
are friends. And lots of them. What you don't need now, is
another love interest. Don't be in a hurry to love again. That
will come when you have made some changes and you will
be more ready. Stop going to places where the two of you
hung out. Distance yourself from those areas. Get an after
school hobby, or volunteer for something that interests you.
Work part time for some spending money. That will make
anyone feel good, getting a paycheck you can spend on
yourself. Do things that will make you take on responsibility.
All things different from the norm, will be building opportun-
ities for you. Take my word on that.
Good luck and if you need any advice on things, you'll find
my email as close as my avatar.
One thing you could try is positive affirmation. Every day write down at least 5 things you like about yourself or accomplishments you are proud of. You could also try joining some type of club or volunteering, particularly something focusing on community service. For most people, helping others makes them feel better about themselves. Good luck!
Oh, and look into going away for college - nothing cheers people up like a change of scenery at a new school :)
You have a serious problem and you can not deal with it by yourself or by asking friends or on YA. Go to a teacher, preacher, or some adult that you trust and get some counseling before it ruins your life.
Forget about the negative people... and have your "me time". Do not rush into another relationship, deal with the issues you have and when you think you're fit to share the love of yourself with someone else then go back on the dating scene.
Start by doing the things that you enjoy doing. Then find things that you are interested in that would be challenging for you to attempt. You might try out for a sport or drama club or whatever you're into. Once you begin to see your own accomplishments, you will begin to take pride in yourself and boost your self-esteem. Also, keep a daily journal of great things about you. Try to list at least three things a day, more if you can. Even one a day is okay to start off. Then, when you're feeling like you need a self-esteem/confidence boost, read your journal of all of your greatness. It will really help to get your confidence back.
I understand you to the fullest. First, you got to look yourself in the mirror and say positive things about yourself everyday until you start feeling more confident. I found out this help me feel better about myself and loving me a little bit more by building my self esteem. Second, get rid of all those troublemakers in your life that are giving you hell and misery. Because the more you let them interfere with your life it will make you more of a victim. Third, don't ever,ever,ever let anyone talk you down and lower your self esteem. Some people do that to you so that will make them feel more powerful and intimidating. Simply walk away and dismiss yourself from these people. Fourth, get to know new people who are positive, inspirational, and caring. These type of people help you become a better person with higher self esteem and strength. As you get older and wiser you will find your strength and the little things that bother you now won't matter so much later in life. Live your life to the fullest, think positive about yourself and don't let people influence how you look and feel. You have control of yourself. If you allow people to do what you don't want them to do, they will keep doing it. Don't let anyone dictate your character. BE SMART !BE STRONG!
I've been in the same situation before. What got me through some tough times was focusing on things I like. Not what other people liked. And i started building up from there.
Whatever your favourite colour is, go and get some candles that colour and place a few in your room. And just think of things your interested in. It can be hard because the negative side likes to control.
Excerise is also a good way to build up confidence and makes you feel good.
Go for a run/jog/walk for awhile...and surely you'll feel just a bit great or really great.
Oh and being around postive, funny, happy people/friends is always good.
Stay positive :)
Recognize your insecurities.
Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve.
Remember that nobody is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities.
Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something.
Be thankful for what you have.
Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity.
Look in the mirror and smile.
Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel.
Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc.
Stick to your principles. It might be tough.
Exercise and eat healthy.
Write down a list of things that are good about you.
Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit.
And MOST of all...
* Try to make yourself talk positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying you can't do something, stop and say you can. Unless you try, you will never know whether you are able to or not.
this could help you sistz, this is a self development program design for gaining self esteem/confidence
https://paydotcom.com/r/11517/benthaleb/...
hope that helped
good luck
To Increase Confidence:
1. Make a list of your strong points.
All the positive things about yourself and the things that you are good at doing. Think of compliments you have received or things that come easily to you. It doesn't matter what it is, if it's good, write it down.
2. Choose two of those things that you want to work on to improve even more.
It's important to succeed and by concentrating on the areas you are already good at you will have a better chance of becoming even more sure of yourself. Remember that success builds upon success.
3. Exude confidence even if you don't feel like it.
Talk to yourself in an encouraging way and stay away from negative thoughts and people as you can.
Instead surround yourself with positive, confident, and successful people. This will become a habit and one that will build confidence.
4. Look at yourself in a different way than you are used to doing.
It can change your life and help your confidence level to rise. See yourself as the self confident person you want to be and before you know it you will become that person.
If you have a set-back do not let it get the best of you. Remember the times when you exhibited self confidence and how good it felt and then try again and each time will help you to build confidence and confidence building will become a way of life.
http://ezinearticles.com/?how-to-build-r...
More Questions & Answers...