How can I try to make someone with Alzheimers trust and understand me?!?
Question:
I have been patient with her disease, but lately it has been getting out of hand. I used to go along with the things she would say/imagine so that i wouldn't confuse her, but i can't do that anymore.
I can't go along with this anymore for MANY safety reasons. These are Only some of the reasons/problems:
She claims that she already drank her medicine when it is clear that she has not, and she has to drink A LOT of it to function well
She also claims that I take her money when she really has no money left!
I tried to go along with it once, letting her beleive that I did take her money, but she ended up not trusting me for a good while!
It breaks my heart that the only things she remembers out of her whole day is that I took her money or that i'm tricking her into drinking more medicine.
What do I do?
Answers:
She may need to be told that she needs to keep on drinking whatever medicine there is. Time really does not mean a great deal once the problem becomes advanced.
In time she may forget who you are as well. Even your mother, her own daughter will become unrecognisable. You may have to resort to being her mother (ie tell her that is who you are), do you look like her mother at all?
Sometimes you can pinpoint at what time in the patients life they have regressed to by having them tell you what happened to them since they last saw you. It might have been 10 minutes ago, but if they tell you they where just watching Armstrong walking on the moon yesterday, you know how much of their memory has been affected (its not always lost completely, but affected in such away they have trouble recalling it).
Difficult times for you, Yahuwah bless and keep you.
Stephen
By what you have written I can assume that she is living with someone that isnt properly trained to take care of her and her condition. The best thing you can do for her is to get her into some medical care. either a live in nurse or a nursing home would be best for her cause they can monitor wheter or not she has been taking her meds.
I'm sure this whole situation is very distressing to you. Your grandmother is clearly becoming very confused. She may or may not respond to you and everyone else keeping a written running account of the times she has taken her medicine, and the amount of money put into and taken out of her purse. If she can be ecouraged to sign each entry when it is made at least you have an independent record to refer to when she has confused herself.
If she has alzhiemers and she thinks she drank it, wait ten minutes, come back, offer it to her again. She will forget she didn't take it. Repeat the process until she eventually takes it.
If she claims you took her money, show her the reciept of the last thing she purchased and tell her that she forgot. Walk away if she argues.
If you can not get her to drink her medicine put it in some apple sauce and feed it to her (a very small amount of apple sauce that is) or pudding.
Your grandmother isn't going to get better.
You will either have to care for her or find someone else that will.
If you need more tips please email me. I worked with these patients for years.
Its not going to get any easier but you are the one who's brain is working and you can do it.
You have to remember that her brain is damaged. Yours isn't. That makes you more responsible than she is.
I hope you have a better day.
Only Mental Health trained personnel know what to do in cases such as you describe. Ask your questions to a trained person.
It is not about you . You are not the one with Alzheimer's its your grandmother. You created this situation when you choose to lie to her about the things that appear to be important to her: her money and her medicine. My mother has Alzheimer's and there are times when I do go along with her, but there are also those times when I have to keep things real with her. Remember a person with Alzheimer's isn't COMPLETELY brain dead.
You appear to be close to her and she believe and trust what you say. To agree to taking her money made her not trust you. Think about it : You don't have Alzheimer's and if you thought that something of yours was missing , someone close to you told you that they took it , you never got it back ,and they were there with you when you missed it . What would you think? WE TEND TO TAKE OTHER PEOPLE ILLNESSES FOR GRANTED. TALK TO HER HER DOCTOR ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH A PERSON WITH ALZHEIMER'S.
It is my experience that people effected with Alzheimer's tend to remember things from the past more clearly than the present. Maybe she had that experience in the past. Try working on regaining her trust . It can be frustrating at times seeing our love ones lose touch with reality. Try joining a support group. DON'T GIVE UP!
nothing you can do, unless you can cure Alzheimers
All you can do is be patient with her. If she starts to argue walk away and come back later and try again. If she still persist sometimes its better to give up rather then upsetting her even more. Also going along with her in her confusion sometimes is ok but sometimes you need to be real with her. But not to the point where it upsets her like if she ask about dead relatives be real with her unless you see its upsetting her cause that will only make it worse. You might wanna consider nursing home placement soon. For her safety and your sanity. Cause her disease isn't going to get any better and soon she may forget who you are. I know its hard to watch them go through this cause I'm sure she has time where she is aware that she isn't remembering things like she should.That's probably where the accusations of stealing money or tricking her are coming from.
I went through the same thing with my father and my mother-in law.For the most part they live in their own little world.I know how frustrating it can be.The only thing that you can do is to treat them with love and respect.We had to take my Dad's car keys,and not let him drive(he would get lost).We had to put him in a nursing home at the end.I had moved to Spain a few months before he passed away at the age of 85,and could not be there for my Mom when My dad passed away.At the end he didn't know anyone.Sounds like you already know what to do,and are doing it.Just remember that she is not herself,and don't get on a guilt trip.You will have to face the fact that she will have to go into a nursing home before too long.This will ruin your own health if it continues.Do not let anyone lay a guilt trip on you.It is not your fault,and you are doing the best that you can.I wish you all the best.You deserve it!
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