How can you get over your innocence and good nature being brutalized by cruel people over the course of your?
Question:
and say if this has happened alot to you, how do you undo the damage that other people have caused to you in your life, turning you from a once happy go lucky kid, with charm and innocence into an adult full of anger and rage.
how can you restore yourself to the good person you once was, who people liked, a warm, giving loving, humorous person?
im 30 now and have borderline personality disorder..im waiting for therapy..
but now, i hardly trust anyone, have alot of rage, and feel certain people are out to get me...ive had alot of trauma and bad experiences with people throughout my life , and have never really made any friends in life..
is there a way back for me after prolonged bullying, victimization and sexual abuse in life..or could i be corrupted, twisted and ruined?
Answers:
There is, indeed. You are not in control of what people do. You are, however, in control of your reactions. Stop acting like a victim. Horrible things happen to people every day, including myself. You can choose to waste energy on rage and revenge and negativity... or you can make a concious effort to try and be the person you want to be.
You said you are waiting for therapy? Why don't you look into going to some Al-Anon meetings?
You need to regress back to the abuse and neglect you suffered as a child to work through it and start to function "normally" as an adult. A good way to do this is to try hypnotherapy (takes you back to the traumatic events while hypnotized so that your reactions aren't as severe) or some kind of attachment disorder therapy. Check out www.natboard.com and click on "find a hypnotherapist."
I have given up on life. Though I am book smart and street smart, everything I do (relationships, career, buying house, finding peace) has turned to junk.
I am only now (at 38) starting to realize I must be cursed - which since I don't believe in that - I guess is my way of saying that there is something inside me that attracts the worst in life.
At this point, what I would really like to do, is take my savings, rent a cabin somewhere very remote, and live alone reading, watching tv, hiking, and sleeping. And just doing simple things like gardening and cooking. I figure when I run out of money I will take my own life. Even if I could do this for just afew years, I think it would be more joyful than my whole life up until now.
I was sexually abused when I was young by my brother but I never considered it anything big since it was only afew times and only oral. As I get older, I am starting to realize that maybe I was wrong in underestimating this. I choose the worst people, people who I don't like (because they are stupid and shallow) or people who will betray me.
Every job since I started my 'career' has been the same nonsense where I feel no fufillment or productiveness. I feel like I am already dead inside. I was raised Catholic but at this point I would rather just disappear when I die then meet the maker who brought me this crap life.
maybe hypnotherapy would help with some of your issues. There are many ways to get through what you are going through. Unfortunately there is no cure for borderline personality disorder. Pick the book up called walking on eggshells. Maybe you have been misdiagnosed and need a second opinion from another therapist. I say this because you want to change and recognize the need for it to be able to enjoy your life.
Forgiveness is key to moving on.forgiving those who have harmed you and forgiving yourself for allowing them to still have power over yourself.
While you are waiting on therapy maybe you can seek rape counselling which is usually free.even if you were not raped they deal with sexual abuse issues on many levels. You may seek support groups as well for sexual abuse. I would also suggest prayer.to whomever your higher power is. There are also anger management classes you can attend usually at no or little cost to you. They may be able to help you with your rage and give you tools to release it before you unleash it onto another human.
Try treating others the way you would like to be treated.
If life is too overwhelming for you and you need help right away go to your nearest emergency room and tell them you need help. They can admit you to a mental ward and get you on track with medication and therapy and tools before you harm yourself or others.
keep your head up and do not be afraid to ask for help.
I am sorry you have had to suffer at the hands of another...and if noone told you they love you today maybe you have been hanging out with the wrong people.so, I Love You. Take Care and seek help until you get it.
1) You ask the same question over and over. Instead of asking the question, why don't you get a book about abuse and read it.
2) I was a foster kid. I grew up in an abusive situation. It sucked. But I did ALOT of therapy. At some point, you have to say to yourself "I was treated like crap. Things happened. I want to be a good person and make a positive impact on this world. I am NOT going to let those bastards get to me."
You see, everytime you are angry etc, you let them win.
You need to get into therapy and work through your issues. In the meantime, goto the library and get some books about trauma and abuse. Read them and start healing.
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