I am so full of rage, please help.?
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Ouch! I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you. This man obviously was not able to make a commitment to you for the 6 years that he has spent with you and taken out of your life , and is not worth getting into a rage over. You can put his stuff out, and call him to pick it up, you do not need to open the door or talk to him. Nor do you need to hear about the woman he is with. What you need for yourself is help, if you can find it in a Church or from Social Services. You do not say much about the children are they grown and gone? Can they help you, or do you need to help them as well? That rage needs to be transformed into inner peace and the best place for that is Church, where you will find the Lord Jesus, and get to know him better. I will pray for you, that you find your way, and get free from this man and from the rage you feel. To keep your toughts from hate and rage ;deep breathing is very helpful ,and start praying. Be assured that God hears and answers. You are never alone God is with you through this difficult time.
Throw all of his stuff on the front lawn, call him, tell him to come get his two timing a*s over there and get all of his unwanted crap.
Then listen to the Beyonce song: Irreplaceable.
That is a good thing to do. Ask God for help. You should really put your foot down, just put his stuff out in the hall or the sidewalk or whatever. If he left you like that, especially after he was so good to your children, it's really hard to believe that such a thing could happen. Try to think of good things in your life and do things with your kids. Get your mind off him: he didn't have the balls to stay on with you so don't waste your time thinking about him.
Well thats life hun, we all get hurt someway or another. dont blame yourself for being angry because you have every right to be. if i was you i would really think about the effect this will have on my children and i will try my best to minimize it. do not let this man ruin your relationship with your children. they are the more important ones here than him who cheated on you and left you for another woman. make sure you get his stuff out of your house as soon as possible so that he is out of your sight. that way you can focus on the children and forget about him and get on with your life.
That really sucks...I'm sorry. Give him one last chance (set a day and time) to get his things. If he does not show, make sure he is aware of what you are going to do with his things...donate them, throw them out...whatever. The only way you will ever be able to get past this, unfortunately, is to forgive him. But don't forgive him for his sake, do it for yours and your kids sake. And hang in there...old cliche, but everything does happen for a reason. Try to figure out what it is that God meant for you to learn from him, learn it, and remember it for next time.
The anger is understandable. Write him an angry letter to get out some of the rage, then confront the hurt in your mind. tell yourself that u r hurting and have a really good cry about it. talk to a friend also who will let you purge completely. the pain gets less for sure, but it takes time. try to get pleasure from being with your kids and know in your mind that it will get much better emotionally. look at this as your opportunity to meet a better man, but do not, not jump into another relationship before until you can think about your ex without anger.
your anger is a natural feeling. he hurt you bad. he broke the trust you had with him. he broke your heart. though your anger is a natural feeling there are good and bad ways to handle it. you don't want to suppress it to long. i'm a very non violent person, but i've found it to be very helpful to physically vent my anger when it is really strong. when you're alone get one of your pillows and scream as loud as you can with it over your mouth. next, feel free to hit it the pillow until you don't want to hit it anymore. after that lay flat on your back and take slow deep breaths. make sure it takes as long to breath out as it does to breath in. it is very possible that you might just want to cry instead. this too is okay. after you've done all this you might very well still be mad, but it will now be much more subdued and controllable.
Put all his stuff in garbage bags, put them on the curb and let him know. Don't do it on garbage day.
On the rage- you are going to have to work it out - try getting a swim noodle and shut yourself in your bedroom and beat the living crap out of your mattress. Scream and yell while doing it - but warn the kids first. Tell them that you are ok, but angry at someone else and want to get the anger out of you. I know this sounds weird but it does work - and so does screaming in the car when you are alone.
What a pig - learn from it though. Men can be such bast****.
Your rage is something that you have to get help with straight away. Talk to you friends or mum. Use a journal. Seek a counsellor. Learn anger management. Don't do anything silly
Take up Pilate's or karate or even meditation. Do something deliberately positive and focus on it. STAY AWAY FROM HIM Take a holiday. I don't know what else to suggest - I have my own rage issue going on - one way I deflect it is by answering questions on Yahoo.
Try to stay calm best wishes.
The rage is helping you from becoming depressed which is worse for your kids. Remember females to the same to the fathers and today USA has more fatherless families because she didn't want him any more . I suggest that you try out some of the fathers out there who are loners like you. Don't go back to the winner circle to find another shiny husband. Look at what type of a person you are and find a man like that.
Sorry this has happened to you. First of all, As far as his things, give him a certain day to pick them up, or you are donating them to the local thirft shop. If he does not come and get them, follow through (obviously they are not important to him).
Second, When you are out, and you see him, just act like you do not see him, go out with friends, take your kids to the park, (keep yourself busy). You WILL get over him, it will just take time.
Third, don't let him control your emotions. You feel this "rage" because you allow yourself to feel it. Do not let him control how you feel, try to move on and focus on making your and your childrens lives better.
honey first of all get help from god only he knows why thins happened so pray at night and tell him to help you but have faith and he will second you need to throw out hes things because if he doesn't have time to move out but he those have time to be with her hes obviously doing it on purpose so that he could hurt you every time he goes to your house so be think and be ahead of the game you have to put your strong face and let him know that your OK with everything and let him see that it doesn't bother you no more be strong even tho you feel week and third of all think about your kids keep your self occupied do something that makes you feel good and beautifull inside beleive me that work s take care
In regards to his things, write him a letter detailing a date and time that he can collect his things. In the letter, write what will happen to his things (you'll donate them/throw them in the garbage) if he doesn't collect them at that time. Keep a copy of the letter and send it to him via registered post so he has to sign for it to say he received it. That way he can't say that he never got it, and you have a copy of it so you can say exactly what it said. If he doesn't collect his things by the deadline, do whatever you want with them. Legally they may already be considered abandoned as its already been a month (not sure on the timeframe for this), writing the letter is more of a courtesy to him. Have a friend/family member with you for moral support when he comes to take his things.
In regards to your feelings, its perfectly normal to feel anger at someone who has left. In a way, a relationship breakup is similar to grief, you go through similar stages, one of which is anger. It's only been a month since he left, give it time.
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