I dont fit in?


Question:
I dont think I fit in with my family. I am kind and genorous and I am thoughtful. I always know how to deal with things, but sometimes it comes to a point where I dont know how to cope. My parents fight because they have different opinions on how to raise us. My dad is a phycologist and never comes to conclusions. He doesn't want to fight, he wants to let us do what we want. My mom is a hard head who wants to punish us for what we do wrong. I dont really get into much trouble since I'm nearly invisible in my family. My sister who is one year younger than me, 14, tries to make everyone miserable. She is awful, you have no idea. My older sister who is 19 almost 20 is impossible too. She and my mom fight like crazy. Please tell me what i should do! I dont know how much longer I can put up with these people. They never want to talk or solve anything!
if it helps any, im a pieces, my older sister is a leo, my younger sister is gemini, my dad is gemini, and my mom is that one...sagitaurus..

Answers:
I come from the same kind of family background. What I started to notice very early on, around your age, is that all of the fighting was created by how these family members were using their thought processes (thinking and memory) to create the situation they were in. I did not want to grow up to be like them; unhappy, angry, dissatisfied with everything in life, and impossible to get along with, so I started watching how I used language and how my own inner conversation was affected by the words of others because I did not need, or want, to end up like them. It may sound strange, but after a while my self-observations of my own language use showed me something that was really quite incredible: and that was that I was not the thoughts that I was thinking. I was the person who was thinking the thoughts, and saying the words, but they were only words and were not me. This allowed me to distance myself from the constant chatter in my head and allowed me to mentally inhabit a much more peaceful place.
What people said no longer angered me or made me sad because I could see that they were at the mercy of their own thinking. I found that more and more I was living in the present, the now, and they were living in their relived past. I had joy, which is much different than happiness, and they were either happy or sad. They were on the roller coaster ride of thinking and memory while I had found solid ground.
Language, especially self conversation is a very powerful tool and it can cause the worst and the best in human behavior. It is the one tool that makes us both human and unhuman.
It sounds to me like you are a very intelligent, caring, person who has the ability to use language like a master carpenter uses her hammer, and in doing so you will make the world a better place for everyone.
You are your own unique individual. Find some hobby or interst that you like and involve yourself in that. You cannot change people only your attitude towards them
go see a counsellor at your health department
You need to talk to a counselor or therapist. A good place to start looking for the right person to talk to is your school guidance counselor.

Good luck.
Tell them how this is affecting you: print/copy this. Because you are nearly invisible, they assume you are fine, but it's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease, so SQUEAK! Practise daily, and when needed, one of the relaxation techniques on pages 2, 9, or 11, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... Tell your dad that children need reasonable discipline, and actually appreciate some limitations being imposed on them (it shows them that the parents care), appropriate to their age and maturity, as well as attention and affection, and that maybe he should consult a child psychologist about this, or read up a bit. Show him this!
I am a Pisces too. You're just a different breed than the rest of your family. Leo is a big personality, Gemini and Sagittarius are probably too fast to keep up with. Just be yourself, and try to stay out of arguments with your family. Pisces people love artistic pursuits and music and are usually girly girls. Do you have a quiet place you can go and just draw or paint? Listen to music that soothes you. Pisces people are good friends too, and enjoy spending time with their friends. Hang out with people you enjoy. Just hang in there, you can be on your own or away from the house at college soon.
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