A 13 year old victim of emotional abuse? What to do?

Question:

My friend is 13. She and her mom fight all the time. Last year she found out her dad isn't her biological father, and her mom tries to take her away from him every few months. It's really stressful on her. She became withdrawn and started cutting herself. A couple times her mom locked her out of the house late at night when they were fighting. My friend's mom and grandma are always trying to brainwash her into thinking her non-biological dad is a bad person but he's not. He is a great dad to her, and her mom won't let her see him. I think it is maybe jealousy because she always turns to her dad when her and her mom are fighting, and it makes her mom mad. They have tried counselors and it doesn't help. She feels like she can't communicate with her mom and like her mom doesn't want her. Her mom called her a mistake and acts like everything is her fault and like nothing she does is ever good enough for her mom. What can she do?

Answers:
Well to tell you the truth I dont know the laws in AZ...but if like most states there is people thru the Dept of Social Services that would help her out..I would suggest that she maybe talk to a school counselor and see if she has an option of living with her DAD if the MOM and Dad are not living together Seems like she has a real good bond with the DAD The other thing would be Does she want to know who her real DAD is? Sounds like this man has stepped up and taken her on even though knowing that she isnt his daughter But will help her in anyway possible Maybe her real DAD isnt around But at least she has someone to turn too.Also What about Grandparents? Does she have one close by or a Bro or Sister? Really the best advice I would give right now would be the counselor at school...But like I said maybe there is other sources she can turn too...Good Luck to her...Sounds like she is put in a place where NONE Of us want to be for sure...Being her Dad cant afford to go to Court to get custody Maybe he could go to the Legal Services in his area NOT sure if that is what it is called in AZ but in Michigan that is what we call Lawyers services that help the poor or moderate income people..Good LUCK TO ALL....

Thats terrible. I dont have any advice but one of my friends cut herself to and it also became very stressful on me too. Just keep helping her out and being a good friend.

Does your friend have any other relatives she can go live with? It seems to me that is the best solution sometimes.

Reminds me of my mom's relationship with all of her kids.
Sorry I don't have any advice. I'm still trying to figure out what to do.

Sounds alot like what I went through. First tell her to only believe her gut feeling and no one else. While this is a hard time, what she needs to do is continue being herself no matter what anyone says and no matter how many problems it causes between her mom and her family. In the end it will only make her a stronger person for not crumbling underneath her families manipulations. If she loves her dad wether he is biological or not, she should look into getting emmancipated from her mom. Then her mom has no say in what she can do, and she could willingly go live with her dad. I don't think that costs much at all. Look into. Go to you states web page in your case it would be www.arizona.gov You'll find the links to go about emmancipating parents. Tell her to surround herself with the people that believe in her to help her stay strong.

I very sowwy...Hey im watchin mindfreak WHOOOOO GO MINDFREAK!!

I think you should go to your parents, for help maybe you can help her and she can stay with you guys, or your mom can find the perfect help. I wouldn't just recomend to call a place, It would be wonderfull, and It would help her if she had someone to help her right next to her. Talk to your parents and tell them to help you, help your friend.

If she doesn't change her environment she will just go further down the hole. Her mother obviously doesn't know how to show her daughter true love and affection. She has to talk to the local Child Protective Servcies and a advocate will help get her out of her mothers custody and into the custody of her father. If she tells an advocate that her mother locked her out of the house and says she is a mistake, her case will open. Let your friend know that her feelings are real and she is not the only one going through a rough time. Emotional abuse is not something to just eat up and live with.

all you can do is be an emotional safe place for her to go to, right now Just listening to stuff she says (even if it's over and over) can help the most.
You really can't "Do" anything about it. But she is your friend, so get her to spend the night at your house a bunch, talk to your mom about it and try to assimilate her into your family- so she has a safe haven.
Both of you join a sport team or band- youth group, so you can watch her and she will have an outlet for her creativity.
Some people have hard lives! I believe that different experiences like this make people have the strength they need for hardships they will endure in their adult life, and survive them.

Just don't let your friend start wallowing in grief- try to be positive, too. It's a difficult balancing act. My mom was like that- and my friends made up for it. email me or im if you want.
look up some free counseling in your area- start with churches.

theres not alot u can do sadly... just b there for her no matter what.. offer to have her spend the night if things get too rough for her at home...

Talk with your school counselor about this.

A 13 year old victim of emotional abuse? What to do?

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