HELP!! WHY can't i loosen up!? social anxiety? just nervous? WHAT!??
Question:
A friend of mine pointed this out to me today, and i know its true.. its really bad though. My voice goes up and i get all nervous and don't know what to say. Even if i'm already friends with the person. And i TRY to correct this however its like i have some sort of social anxiety or something. I also think a lot of it comes from my self consciousness.
HOW do i get rid of this? because its destroying my social life and my driving away every relationship i've been in!?!?!
Answers:
I think you've just got to examine yourself a bit more. From the looks of it, you have a good start. A lot of fear really is irrational, fear just doesn't make sense. We as humans often imagine the worst possible outcome - in other words, we convince ourselves we'll fail, so the game's already over.
You have to think the opposite, flip the switch a bit. Imagine the best possible outcome, like finding a new friend, and focus on that. Once you realize that a lot of what you think will never happen, you naturally relax.
Try this: find someone who is social, and be completely honest with them. Tell them you're trying to be more social. Easy.
You have to put yourself out there a bit. First time I asked someone this, my stomach was in a knot. Most people are nice and will open up immediately because they'll recognize it takes real courage to ask someone for help like this. No one was born with friends, we just turned strangers into friends.
Go see a doctor, you might have Social Anxiety disorder. Just don't fix it like Ricky Williams did...with the kronic.
i have it too and it sometimes ruins dates and good times, but the key is to always tell ur self that its stupid, illogical and that there is no reason tonot just be urself. If the problem doesnt let up then u should see a professinal. my cuz had it real bad and now she sees this big guy and she feels alot better. good luck i know how it feels
Wow. You sound exactly like me.
I'm exactly the same way. It sucks especially when you move 3000 miles from friends and family and try to meet people.
I think that your a little selfish. You sound like your over concerned about what strangers think of you, rather than what you think of yourself. Think about other people more often. People ARE NOT paying attention to you as you may think. They are doing the sane thing you are doing, because their selfish themselves. I mean, look at all he people who said they are just like you? we all are a little to self concoious in this world, I think. Please, humble yourself. Im not trying to be rude or anything, but the world dosesnt revolve around you.
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