Sister lies about the most insignificant things..help?
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compulsive liar.
my best friend has it and i deal with it. I honestly dont believe anything he says unless he's got proof. and he doesnt take it personally, and neither do i when he lies to me, its just how he is, and i accept it.
some people are just compulsive liars. recent research has given insight to the fact that "liars" brains may be wired differently. some people just dont have the guilt or regret that comes with lying for most people. you need to have a serious conversation with her about it, or to get along with her youre just going to have to accept that she is a liar, although that will obviously strain your trust that you have in her
We need to remember we can't change someone else, especially if she is in denial about her dishonesty, if she is essentially lying to herself as well as everyone else.
I found an interesting article online about dealing with liars. Here's an excerpt:
The best way to deal with people who are liars
The first and most important thing is to manage your expectations. When you have awareness of how people were socially conditioned you have an opportunity for compassion. With awareness your understanding expands and your judgments dissolve. Be honest and aware enough to recognize the socialization patterns that people face growing up. Also be aware of the consequences that telling the truth might incur.
When you realize the extent of social conditioning you gain a greater understanding for why people compensate with lies the way they do. The emotional reactions you had behind the judgments aren’t there any more.
In relationships you are responsible for your half of the emotions.
Taking care of your half means noticing where you are lying. If you are upset with someone for lying it is because you believe they should be telling the truth. Your expectation is that they should drop all their years of social conditioning overnight.
You believe they should adopt a new behavior and become a person you expect them to be. You believe they should be the image you hold in your mind about them. They are not the image in your mind that you want them to be. When you want another person to live according to your expectations you are lying to your self about who they really are.
Use Awareness to Deal with your Lies
Being aware of the image in your mind of another person and your beliefs about who they should be will give you an opportunity to change your beliefs. Being aware of the deeply embedded social conditioning that programs a person to lie will help you drop your misplaced expectations of another. Dropping your false image of them and managing your expectations will go a long ways to dissolving your emotional reactions to someone else’s socially conditioned behavior.
If you are having emotional reactions about someone who is lying then you will need to deal with your half. Your half includes the lies in your mind about who they should be.
For the full text: http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/happin...
Essentially, she is lying for a sense of security, out of a desire to be important, to get attention, or just because she's afraid of what will happen to her if she is honest. She may be a pathological liar. Accept her but don't believe or trust her. You may not be able to have the relationship you desire because it is her responsibility to change herself.
Good luck.
When you talk to her, tell her you want her to tell the truth, that lying is not good, that people will not trust her if she lies! Tell her that she will be judged by the way she lives her life. That honest is the best policy. Good luck! Hugs! Von
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