Don't I have the right to just be depressed?
Question:
recently found a lump in my breast (to which my ex said,'we ALL have problems.')and I am depressed as hell.
People tell me to 'count my blessings' and think positively.
I don't see much positive in my life--don't people just have the perogative to remain sad/depressed?
Answers:
You are entitled to feel depressed and sad. The problem is if you do nothing about it, it could get to the stage where you are so ill you end up in hospital, or doped up on medication. Before it gets to that stage you can see your GP, get some help from school/social services etc with the kids, try and get things sorted so that they are not as overwhelming. Whatever probs you have there is someone out there who can help. even if its only a shoulder to cry on.
What I regularly do is go upstairs, shut the bedroom door and have a bloody good cry and feel sorry for myself, It helps you to go out there and carry on when you dont feel like it.
Yes! I agree.
Well to be honest it just seems like you are feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone goes through it, i mean my mum ended up having a nervous breakdown after everything she's been through but she stayed strong and you have to for your kids.
If you don't see much positive in your life then make some changes. It's only you who can make your life better because you know what you want out of life.
Of course you do... but people are either uncaring or worry that you may not be able to rise above it again.
If you want to be depressed you be depressed your life sound's crap...but put your foot down with the kids if you can.
Actually yes they do, and sometimes it takes a time to realise that it's not always depressing but one can have episodes of it, triggered by circumstances such as you have described. The only time it becomes a problem is if you feel like this every day, then you may need a bit of a pick me up. I have no concrete answers only sympathy from a fellow sufferer.
of course you have the right to be depressed but depression is dangerous people commit suicide every day because they cant deal with the situation there in.
We all have a free will. And don't we all (most of us anyway) have been true some difficult times, but what we make of then is what's going to help us get out of it or remain ill, physically or mentally.
During 3 years I went true a divorce, bankruptcy, lost a job, had 2 lumpectomy and a hysterectomy, after that was diagnosed with depression, but all I wanted was to get out of those bad days, and I did because I hated feeling down. Honestly, I found ways to see the positive side to all my problems... and one last thing, my only daughter move out of house. I've seen the bottom but from there it's just a way up.
We, women, are stronger than anybody can imagine.
yes but dear the problem is your measuring your happiness up to how many things don't go to plan,that's a bad way to go,you may think if only a few things were different you'd be happier,but you wouldn't because we always find things to be unhappy about
your probably comparing your life to someone Else's,don't!
everyone has problems and secrets that would just break your heart. i have an awful lot to be depressed about,my health is deteriorating,I'm failing school,were going to loose the house,iv been raped,my mothers constantly shouting and beating up my brothers,my friends have all abandoned me,i have no money
but you know what i don't know if I'm in severe denial.but i am happy just because I'm alive iv lived with nothing and no one for so long iv learn ed how to think positive about everything.
i think you need to take time out and restart your life if its hurting this bad,why waste your life like this
and no i dint think its someones prerogative to be depressed,it never helps anything,its an awful mental health issue,and should be avoided if possible,no one has to be depressed,no matter how bad they have it ,its slightly selfish but most people dont just choose to be depressed. to anyone who is please get help
There is nothing worse than people telling you to be positive or pull your socks up or count your blessings when you are depressed. It doesn't help. Clinical depression is not a choice, its an illness, the psyches way of saying there is too much to cope with mentally, so it shuts down for a while. You have been through so much recently, that it is no surprise you are depressed. Your ex sounds like a charming fella, not. You need people around you with compassion and understanding, not judgement. Depressed people know they should be happy about the good things in their lives, but knowing this and feeling it are two entirely different things.
Firstly, I can tell you though, that as a sufferer of clinical depression for over 20 years, it actually does come down to counting your blessings and staying positive. However, this has to be learnt. The whole thing about depression is that your mind's ability to think positively is impaired and the chemicals needed to feel happy are not responding properly. I have tried everything from tablets, to therapy to suicide and nothing much helped. Certainly some of the tablets do help, but they should only ever be used as a short term fix, say if you have to wait a while for therapy. Talking therapies such as psychoanalysis or psychology do not work for everyone, they didn't work for me.
The one thing that did work was a talking therapy called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. The idea being that you are taught how to analyse your emotions and be more aware of how your thought patterns affect your behaviour. Eventually you learn that there is a way to coutneract the depression, but it takes time and a practiced CBT therapist, as the issues which lead to your depression and how you feel abou them must be explored. The good news is that CBT works pretty quickly, I had only six sessions and I have not been depressed for over two years, this is not luck, its just how it works, I am now able to ward off a depressive attack.
See your GP, if he offers you tablets,take them only as a short term solution, and never stop taking them without seeing your doctor for a reduction programme. Be prepared for some potentially nasty side effects, nausea, sweating, sleeping a lot, weight loss/gain, loss of apetite, all sorts of things. But do ask your GP to refer you to a Cognitive Behaviour Therapist. Try and insist on this, not just a regular therapise. Explain that you have heard it works really well for depression, and works quicker than other therapies, therefore getting you back on track sooner and costing the NHS less money in the long run, there isn't much a doctor can say to argue against that.
Of course, you do have the right to just be depressed, if you want, and sometimes it is even healthy to allow ourselves that respite and healing time. But it can become a viscious circle, harder and harder to get out of. Also, you deserve to live your life in freedom, free from depression and mentally able to cope with all the challenges life throws at you, and as you know, it can throw a lot at you at any one time. Not only that, but giving in to your depression long term tends to become isolating. Friends are less willing to spend time with you, as they do not understand why you feel this way, why you want to feel this way, and why you will not get help, and family members feel the same, which builds resentment and kills understanding or compassion thus making you feel worse and worse. Also, depressed people are not always easy to live with. Allow yourself a set time to feel depressed, be it a day or a week, but not more, then agree with yourself that you will get help. I will remember you in my prayers, and hope that soon you are on the road to recovery one way or another. You really have been through a lot, I hope you find some understanding and support from family and friends. Good luck and God bless.
they're just trying to cheer you up. Go ahead, be sad for a while , let it all out. but there comes a point when you just have to say 'it is what it is' and accept it.
You poor thing. The thing with depression is no one can see anything wrong with you physically and think there is nothing wrong. Hence the term "pull yourself together." If only it were that easy. You should go to the doctors for the depression and the lump in your breast, he/she is there to help. It's difficult with teenagers they think they know it all, can you try and sit them down and tell them how you are feeling I know it's easier said than done but you could give it a try. As for your ex sounds like you are better off without him I had one like that too. I know everything seems pointless at the moment but with the help of your GP things will start to get better. Your in my prayers take care. x
I really feel for you, depression is a HORRIBLE thing to have to endure. I don't have kids, have never been divorced and have never found a lump in my breast, but I do get depression. I've had people say to me "just pull yourself together" and "count your blessings" as if that's really going to be the answer. If things were that simple there would be no need for psychiatrists. I hope you get help for the lump ( as with something like that its' natural to think of the worse case scenario) as well as the depression from your doctor. Do what you feel able to do in a day, don't force yourself to do things that others expect you to do, it really won't be the end of the world if you put yourself first for once. If you want to talk more about your feelings don't hesitate to e-mail me.
You do have the right to be whatever you want and feel. Rest assured, most people will only listen to your sadness for so long, then it will just be another mood point and pretty much meaningless.
We all have the right to be depressed. But no one has the right to make us depressed. We have the right to not be depressed as well. Being depressed is like being offended, its a choice. Don't let anyone drag you down. You're strong and you can keep going because you want to.
More Questions & Answers...