What can you do if you feel tormented remembering your past where you were bullied & hurt at different stages?
Question:
is that going to chip away at me for the rest of my life?
how can i get over the extreme anger and hurt i feel at being demoralized growing up? throughout my 20s..in my teens in high school...
im 30 now with borderline pd..i keep having memories of these painfull times and its like i cant get over what people have done to me...
the damage feels immense..& now i want do immense damage to my persecutors of the past..intense rage.not a fire but a furness...obviously theres no way to get back at them people now...and i no its wrong to be ragefull and its destructive i know...i dont want to feel like this.but i feel like my persecutors of the past have got away with it...theyve left their mark..changed my mentality forever...corrupted my innocence...
can anyone see how i can get over this? because with all my belief i want to
Answers:
If you carry on carrying this hurt & anger then you're allowing those bullies from your past to continue bullying you today. Does that make sense?
Their actions are still affecting you today. What you need to do is to talk these things out with someone, maybe a counsellor or trusted friend & get them out of your system & put them back in the past where they belong.
Their bullying was their problem. They made your life miserable in the past - don't give them the rest of your life. Refuse to do so. Move forward knowing that they had the emotional problems not you. Think about this in this way & you will move forward with confidence
The only way to deal with this is to seek professional help. If anyone tells you another way to get over this, it'll be a temporary remedy as your brain must have lodged this deep inside and it needs a cure for that. I would advice you to visit a shrink coz it might snowball into many other problems if you don't.
hey man I was also victimized over my size (6" 215 in 6th grade!) I have just taken pride in my accomplishments at my stage in life now. I realize that if the lord wouldn't have made me that person to get tormented and bullied someone who was not as strong may have, and snapped. I feel that i am very succesfull and very happy in my current life. I will always have a little "why me" inside me but without those times I may have been the bully now. I hope that you realize that the people who torment were immature and I assume most if not all are ashamed of their actions now.
I am a survivor of physical abuse,sexual abuse,emotional abuse,neglect and adult rape.Im truly a multi trauma survivor.You need to be in therapy with a REALLY good therapist.Its going to take time - all in all I survived through roughly 20 years of trauma,and its taken me a lot of work to get through the pain.Taking your meds properly,having a positive relationship and support system outside of therapy will help immensely.Get out your blessings, that your still here -in addition to the negatives and the pain,look at the fact that your alive and here and are able to do the healing work.So many survivors have killed themselves or have fallen into themselves so far that they are gone.Be thankful that your here to do the work even if the pain feels too much.Reach out.Breathe.
This is the first step to many..
Yeah, workout. I went through the same situation, just workout a lot. Dont over do it and hurt yourself, but drink lots of protein and workout. You'll get really big and strong, and have a newly found self respect. People will respect you. AND, you can kick their *** if they mess with you. Working out with improve everything, gurantee. People will start being your friends out of nowhere. Get really big.
I have some of the same issues and my psychiatrist told me yesterday I have to decide if I want to remain a victim all my life or do I want to move on. He says that it 's hard to recover from PTSD but it can be done. He says the first thing that you have to do is to remember that you're not in that situation anymore and you have more control now than, at the other times in your life. It's not easy but if every time you re encounter those situations you remind you're self that you're in control and that you don't have to be a victim it will help.
You can get over it, you just have to accept it and forgive.
If you know it is deadly wrong and you wish to put a stop to it, then you yourself have to forget, forgive and don't do the same thing to others.
But if you think that you can bully others, then you will bully and torment others either to carry out a revenge or to make yourself feel better.
It is not easy putting a stop to all the stupid traditions and same thing that has been done for all the miserable years. Sometimes you feel that if you are treated so badly, why should you treat someone else so good ? Then you feel you want to bully. You have mixed feelings of feeling good and miserable, wanting to change and wanting to keep to the old ways. I think many of us are like this. That is why many people prefer to become bullies in order to feel better. But there are some who decide to change for the better.
I was a foster child and as a teenager I had alot of rage and hated the world .. got in alot of trouble. After medication just made me worse and drinking wasn't the solution. What I did to supress the rage was box...in the ring ofcourse. If you don't have the time.. get a punching bag.. and trust me that will help alot. If you're into poetry.. which I'm not.. but that has helped for alot of people that I know too. You just have to get creative with your anger. One thing you don't want is to supress your bad memories which i did as a teenager.. it will effect your memory in the long run. But that still leaves you feeling angry. I hope I was able to leave you with some insight.
Like you I had horrible experiences at all ages from kindergarten till 10Th grade being bullied,mentally abussed by boys and girls. In 10th grade my parents were getting separated Then my grandmother who I shared a room with from birth to age 15 died, and my dog died right on my 16th birthday, and my boyfriend broke up with me so I dropped out oh High school, I felt I had no one no friends except people who bullied me so I quit.
Then you get a job and you still feel like you are in High school again cause people do not grow up!Since leaving school ALONG time ago I have worked with JERKS. Last job I had I never disliked a person more! She hated me, told lies about me to my co-workers all because I was nice and didn't speak up , NOW I do cause after YEARS of therapy I stand up for myself, at times I think of a few jerks who really hurt me as a kid and I'd love to get back at them and the jerks I worked with but I have to force myself to forget them, for your own sanity PLEASE go see a therapist tell them how you feel ,just get it off your chest, REMEMBER THOSE JERKS ARE NOT WORTH RUINING YOUR LIFE! PLEASE be GOOD to YOURSELF! Learn to say" I like myself and every time I think of these BOZO'S I WILL NOT think of them more then a second!" then find something to do to take your mind off of these JERKS! Everytime you think of them say that to your self"If I keep thinking of them I am hurting myself instead of helping myself" and force yourself to do someting you like say watch a tv show, read listen to music. Please look in you yellow pages under family couseling or mental health clinic and talk to a therapist, they will help you get this off of your chest. I have been going for years and it helps.
Best of luck!
Sorry to hear this. Now keep in mind when people are young they do stupid things. When I was young I was a "bully" and I said and did alot of things to people which I regret now. If I knew where they were now I would tell them "I'm sorry."
Try to get past these horrible memories and move on with your life. The past is the past, and there's no changing it. The future is what you should look foward too.
Hope things work out.
Life is full of bullies, some you can not do anything about but others you confront or hide in fear. I was beat up in the first grade by a boy a year younger. I outlast him he now walks with a walker. It is only a matter of time, just keep watch and you will see the bully get his. Life is a circle. May you walk in the force.
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