How does one learn to just let it all go?
Question:
things from 10 &20 & 30 years ago i can still feel them somewhat today,
how can we ever resolve the past and just let it go?
Answers:
You can only affect today's events. It's as simple as that. If you don't want to regret things, don't do things today that you will regret.
your past is a part of you, it makes you who you are today, you can never forget, you just learn to deal with things.
Try thinking more on the future. Daydream a little.
I am not sure its a good thing to let it all go. Afterall, what we experience makes us learn and grow and become what we are today. Why should we not have a neural catalogue of our lives - good and bad? The fact is that the way we felt about something at the time it happened does change over time as we see it from new angles when new experiences come in and force reviews. Nothing is resolved until we die as we keep learning and building on what we have already been through.
You need to remember the past, but it sounds like you allow it to overwhelm you from time to time.
There are a number of ways to deal with it - I haven't found a particularly reliable way myself - but I keep hoping!
Try not to get too deep into your past though. The best thing I have tried so far is to allow myself a limited "wallow" of maybe a day where I cry & feel bad & blame everyone for everything - then at the end of the time I have agreed with myself I stop.
No - it hasn't been 100% - but it helps to just let go completely and then feel YOU have control to stop it!
deep breathing exercises, meditation and DBT therapy look it up
I'm with you there.
Had choices, took the wrong ones. Relationships and jobs.
I feel now that I'm just marking time.
I'm sure clever people could resolve it for me.
But what is done is done,
the problem is that our past is a part of us.so we cant fully let go of the past because of our bad experiences.to fully let go would mean death.all we can do is try and be positive in our thoughts.try cognitive thinking.turning negative thoughts into positiveness.i am going though something similiar.so good luck.
This is a tough one!!
in my experience I would say the very much used cliche "time will heal" is absolutely true - but while you are waiting you have to learn to be kind to yourself!
Allow yourself to feel sad on bad days and allow yourself to feel good on good days - guilt free!!
In time - there it is again! - the good will outweigh the bad - when you shake of the guilt - because for some reason whenever we have anything bad happen to us we seem to feel guilty for feeling the way we do - "not feeling bad enough" - or "feeling good when we think we should feel like cr ap" - why do we do this to ourselves?!
Do nice things for yourself - treat yourself - buy an ice cream and sit in the park or by the local pond - don't rush home and do housework - yuk! - take time out and say to hell with "it" - whatever it is - will still be there tomorrow.
You must remember you are the sum of youre past - love yourself - say actually I'm an o.k. person - all that stuff is in the past - its not going to go away but the future is mine -
LOTS AND LOTS OF POSITIVE THINKING - AND FAB UPLIFTING MUSIC WHEN YOU ARE FEELING LOW - TURN IT ON - DANCE - gets the blood rushing round youre veins - gets the heart pumping and sends lots of positive feelings around youre body -
BE KIND TO YOURSELF - GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK - POSITIVE VIBES ONLY!!!
if you can afford it the gym is great for working off stress!! - but
dancing round the kitchen will do it just as well!!
By acceptance of what was and continuing acceptance of what is. Letting be is letting go.
I have tried everything & I'd love to know what would be a good way..
I've seen so many dirty things that plague my mind, so much hatred & pain & although I shouldn't complian, I sometimes want to never remember them & wipe them from my memory...
the only way I know is prayer & asking God to help, I think affirmations are also powerful, if we put in the mental effort, an affirmation to use would be: I release the past & move on...
& I just wanted to say thank you for your question, you have brought it to light for me, & I will pay more attention to this matter.
I think stop remembering them.But I think I understand how you feel.Sometimes when you see someone that acts like someone from your past the memoirs keep coming back.It's hard.I just let mines go but the memories is still there.
Just hope it faids slowly away,,,
through positive thinking,relaxation and a spiritual life
I'm assuming that the things that caused you pain and sadness are related to other people. Maybe the best way to let things go is to stop holding them inside and dwelling in them. Talk, really talk about what you feel and why. No accusations or any of that overly emotional additioning. Just what you need to let go of. Then put it in the past and move forward. If you can't talk with anyone then why not try some massage or reflexology? It can release old emotional blockage. Just remember to feel it, don't deny it.
I am suffering with PTSD which has brought up a lot of bad traumatic memories from the past. Shutting them out does not works. They have to be dealt with individually. I am receiving counselling to help me get through them all. Some I have already managed to deal with now and hopefully we will get through the rest gradually. Then I will be able to carry on with my life and only recall these events if I want to and not because they want to.
Good luck with however you choose to deal with them.
:-)))
i think subconsciously you try to put these things at the back of your mind but they always seem to pot back up into your head at any given time. In the form of memories or even bumping into your past. I think it is important to remember the good the bad things that have happened as it is a part of life. Ignoring these things can only make life worse. Try writing your memories down in a way of letting go and in a few years you can read them back and either laugh and think what an earth did i write that for or cry because of happy or sad times memories can bring back all kins of emotions.
if only i knew...
THIS IS SO ME.
I don't think we will ever let go of our past
I think we have to learn control of our thoughts,
Allowing ourselves to dwell on the past will not bring us closer to acceptence ,We are damaged goods.
We must be kinder to ourselves .
you don't let them go, you just learn to live with them. you have to accept everything thats happened to you and realize that it's all for a reason, and if you look deeply enough into things from every angle , you'll find the reason. there aren't only negative reasons either, they're mostly positive.
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