Bipolar disorder (and dating) -- do they really care for you or is it the disorder talking/manifesting?
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My boyfriend is Bipolar. He is very capable of loving me and taking care of me. Even though he takes his medication, he has a Bipolar episode about 3 times a year, each one lasting about 5 to 7 days. He goes completely insane, talking nonstop for hours and hours, yelling and screaming, jumping up and down. I usually go to a hotel during these times because the verbal abuse is more than I can handle. After his episode is over and he is back to normal, he is very sorry for the things he says and does. Bipolar people are very out of control at times. You have to be willing to put up with the temporary insanity that occurs. Good Luck!
Most bipolar people get high and love everyone at some time.I have watched numerous people have their hearts broken thru bipolar people on the net.They live in their own fantasy worlds,and if they are not on medication to control it,it has no limits.U cannot change these people,only learn to live with their illness,if thats what you want to do.I certainly wouldn't take their words at face value tho.
My feelings would be that
OK to date once and be friends.
Anything more long term would likely not work out.
Relationships are hard enough long term without adding complications like mood disorders.
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Just because someone has a mental disorder doesn't mean they don't feel love and intense feelings about others in a positive way. As with any relationship take things slow anybody can just say anything it's actions that matter.
Bipolar people alternate between depression and mania. That range is different for all people. Some have a small range of extremes, others a very wide range with the extreme end of mania being pschotic murders,etc !...but not most.
I think the big factor is that you both recognize it. Have you seen his extreme "up" or manic side. I would make sure he actually takes the meds and stays on them or changes if they aren't working
bipolar people are no different than the rest of us as far as "feelings". Just keep in mind, that "range" of emotions is different for everybody and can range from being up and going all the time, to more sexual desire than normal.to franticaly cleaning the house, etc to dangerously violent. And he might have a tendency to feel a little more intensely...but so do alot of people.
You need to make some judgements about these things...and not dissmiss him because of a mental issue. Most bipolars are conrolled pretty well with meds although there are not alot of meds to work with.
Try to look at the facts, determine his emotional range and if you can be supportive of it...or if he can get dangerous, or where in the middle does he fall ? I have PTSD. That makes alot of people run away from me. I would like to think having a label doesn't mean I will be alone forever. Most people don't understand my condition or bipolar ( PTSD is often misdiagnosed as bipolar) ...so don't dismiss him because of a label but make sure you really know him...take some time, have more history on him...so You know if you want to deal with it, or can. He may have a tendancy to fall for somebody more quickly and be more intense...but it doesn't mean it's not real, unless he has felt so alone that he jumps at the first person to pay attention to him.
We are all people that are meant to be in relationhip, etc. Don't let "labels " dictate if you should see him or not. Get more info, spend more time with him...try to see how hight his highs are, etc..
I would like to think others would give me that benefit before judging me on a "label".but I have seen the high, out of control mania first hand...and it was very difficult to live with and at times dangerous That person was also off her meds if I remember right. So get all the info you can and make your own call, but don't assume his feelngs aren't real.
I was just in a relationship of 1yr with my girlfriend who was diagnosed with bipolar after we were dating. She wasnt really my type but becuz of her relentless pursuit I started paying attntn.She was upbeat,very sensual,very interstd in me.I fell in love with her personality and not her looks.Then all of a sudden she came back from visiting her mom then told me after 3mos being together she was diagnosed with bipolar.I didnt know what it was and immediately researched the illness on the internet.After researching i looked back and noticed the symptons i.e.loving,sensual,engaging,ou... great w/strategic planning hence her manic stage.Then 1 time she even started crying becuz she said she didnt want me to have a baby w/anyone else.This all happend b4 she went to see her mom in LA.She's on meds.I accptd her the way she was and helpd her thru difficult times.The 1 thing i was concerned was her hyprsexuality.I was afraid that she was going to end up sleeping w/another man.Well the inevitable happnd when a frnd from her work told me she came late to an apptmnt w/a coworker both w/messy hair and sweaty.when i confrntd her w/it she practically bit my head off.she told me thngs like i'm not her type and that she likes 6-3 men w/blonde and blue eyes,exactly the descript of her cowrkr.She kept talking and talking until eventlly she incrimntd herself.she left the house for 2days and said she need time.turns out she was w/that cowrkr. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is an illness.this was my 1st exp w/someone w/bipolr.It was very difficult 4 me and I would never again get invlvd w/someone diagnosed, only as friends.My heart was broken and time will take its course eventually the memory will fade.I have to give credit for the folks that hung in there for their bipolar wifes, husb, gfs, and bfs.Hypersexuality wth people that have bipolar is a real threat in a relationship.Just my opinion and personal experience.
I have bipolar, when I am manic I can simply put it about (past tense) but then I also meet my current partner when manic and that was 6 years ago now. We are happy and do love each other a great deal. I personally feel there has to be something there to make him look at you that way in the first place. I don't sleep around but I do think about it. The only thing that stops me doing stuff like that is the fact it goes against my morals so is a no no. Don't let people tell you its just the bipolar as that is most probably not the truth. He will feel something for you. One thing you must do is take your time in the relationship, no running head first into it all. take care good luck
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