Question:
I hate to spend money on myself...I can buy groceries, gifts and things for my husband and son. However when It comes to me I cant do it. I get physically ill...I havent bought any new clothes in about 4 years...my husband is always telling me to buy myself stuff, he will take me shopping and I just cant buy myself anything. I was abused as a child by a realative and was always told by my family that no one would ever want me and i wasnt good enough. I dont let that get to me anymore (at least i dont think i do)...but could this be the reason i feel like this and what can i do to change this feeling. I want to look pretty and sexy for my husband , but i cant even bring myself to spend 10 dollars on myself, the last thing I purchased was a pair of jeans for 36 dollars, it took me 2 hours to decide to buy them and then i was physically ..im just glad my husband loves me for me, but he laughs when i tell him it makes me sick, he doesnt understand how it makes me feel...any advice?
Answers:
You should go see a therapist, they will help you with your abuse issue and your lack of self worth.
It is in your nature and it is difficult to change.Try to change but.
Never change! My ex-wife was the opposite, spending money on everything in sight as a way to self-comfort. You two are two ends of a continuum...I knew if my ex-wife existed, you had to as well.
It's pretty obvious you haven't let go of what your family has done to you. You have a husband and child, that should tell you something.
Try buying yourself something small and inexpensive to start with, then gradually increase.
See a therapist and get it all out. If you're afraid to pay the bill, think of it as a gift to your husband and son.
You deserve nice things too.
You sounds too humble and down to earth to me,but I think you should take some of things that your family member would buy for you.Didn't know if they do but I think your Husband should take some female friend's help and do some shopping for you and you must use those all things that he buys for you and it will make him happy too.
Lisa E covered this question pretty well, I'd just like to add that it IS a gift to your family, because it means taking power away from the abusive thoughts that relative instilled in you, which leaves more of you open to be a happier person for them, rather than dwelling on past cruelty.
Wish you luck.
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