Is it possible that my BF is afraid to work?

Question:

My BF hasn't ever worked a steady job since I've been with him, and I found out from his friends and family later on that he has always been that way. He is into cooking, so he has plenty of opportunities for restaurant work & catering. But whenever one comes along, he'll sit back and let it pass, or he'll be hired and then let go quickly. He suffers from sickle-cell disease and takes lots of medications, which for him means pain, tiredness, and crises that land in the hospital. I understand that cooking is hard work that requires a lot of physical activity. Once, my BF had a job where he loaded and unloaded heavy boxes and he started having back pain and had to quit. He gets too tired too fast, and he seems to just sit around the house all day, watching TV.Could it be his illness stopping him from working? Could he be afraid that if he works, he'll get really sick and permantly disabled or die? Or could he be just lazy?

Answers:
He could be depressed. The things that you describe about him point in that direction. Sickle-cell anemia is a pernicious disease which can cause a great deal of suffering. While medical professional's understand the cause of the disease and the symptoms, oftentime they ignore the pain that the patient is experiencing. Sickle cell patient's who are in crisis and present to the emergency room are often ignored and written off as drug seekers. This could be from the fact that the patient doesn't necessarily "look" sick and may be a "frequent flier" to medical facilities. Then again, he could be just lazy, but I have nothing but a great deal of sympathy for someone with sickle-cell. I have seen the suffering it can cause and it is an evil disease that strikes hardest along ethnic lines. best wishes

he might just be lazy, most of them are. I know mine is.

it is an actual fear..ergophobia

Lazy. Any person with a disability can find a line of work to do. He isn't being forced by law to work a manual job. He probably needs an office position. I'd get away from him. Unless you like the idea of an unstable future with consistant financial problems.

Well in my opinion it sounds like a bit of everything illness & being lazy.how about getting him to take a job a few hours a week, then see how he gets on ?

There are a lot of diseases/syndromes that can cause bad metabolic problems because overexertion can be fatal but underexertion causes things to atrophy, you gain weight and ...uh ... your girl friend leaves you.

You'll see similar things with people who have had very bad asthma.

Lord knows the world is filled with sedentary jobs (for instance, filling out insurance forms for doctors on a computer). He might take a look at those.

If cooking tires him out, he should reserve that for home use (e.g. special occasions e.g. pleasing YOU).

Everyone is afraid to work every now and then.

From past experience when people do work that they feel is worthless and just do it for a paycheck they don't last long before quitting. Work without meaning is HELL!!!!!

I think this is a subject you should bring up with him. Prehaps ask him why he never keeps a job long and so on. Ask him how working makes him feel. Be sincere about the subject.
I wouldn't think he is just being lazy, although there are alot of people out there who just DONT want to work. They get too much into the habit of doing what they want. Going to bed when they like and laying in aslong as they like.

When we have a job, we need to commit our lives to it if we want it to last and if we want to be respected at work. Some people are affraid they wont be able to live upto these exspectations and will just be disrespected. It CAN be a very hard thing to break. I have a guy friend whose 32 now. Hes had many jobs since he was 18 but like you said, my friend too either seems to only last 5 mintues somewhere or lets a good one pass him by. My friend now does the same as your boyfriend and spends his time at home either infront of the tv or on his Xbox.

Having a medical condition doesn't help either and he proberly feels that working or trying to commit to a job will just cause more problems. Not just with his own feelings, pain etc but that he may have to let his work down by going sick. Alot of places dont tolerate too much sickness and CAN get funny about it. But if your boyfriend tells them these problems at his interview, most jobs (whatever they involve) will usually do their best to accomdate this.

Unless the doctor has told him specifically that he cannot work, sounds like a case of being lazy. If he does in fact have something that physically keeps him from working, has he looked into disability benefits? How does he support himself, or are you supporting him? If you are, then who could blame the guy -- I'd love to not have to work and have someone else support me while I stay home and watch tv all day. does he at least cook dinner?

I've been a hairstylist for 10 years and I love what I do. I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia for 2 years. I have severe pain constantly. I had to quit my job 2 months ago because I just couldn't stand up that long anymore. I think your boyfriend probably is just worried that his disease will prevent him from working. I'm feeling a LITTLE bit better now, but am still afraid to look for a different job because I'm worried I'll get worse again. Also, I have to call in sick when I have a "flare", so I'm always worried that my boss would either hate me or fire me. He probably has a lot of those worries. It sucks being sick.

Is it possible that my BF is afraid to work?

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