I'm socially inept and desperately need help?
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First, try to work on your self esteem. You do have a lot of value. You need to convince yourself of this. As far as friends, first and foremost you need to be where there are people. Surely there is something you are interested in. It's best to have some sort of activity going on - this breaks tension and give you something to talk about. Clubs, volunteer work, sports, whatever you like. It'd be easier than trying to get to know people at parties. If you don't feel comfortable with small talk, don't use it. I used to be very shy, and I essentially had to teach myself to go out and find friends. I didn't use small talk for the longest time - it didn't make any sense to me. You have a girlfriend so you are capable of having relationships with people. The two of you must talk about things. Say you're standing next to someone at a meeting, say, 'I think we should build playgrounds with our club's funds." Say what you're thinking, I mean. It'll get easier over time. Try to seek out quieter people - don't try to be buddies with the gregarious one who's the center of attention. Not to say they can't be your friend, it's just it's hard to keep up with them unless you're also so gregarious. But don't worry so much - not everyone is a social butterfly. (Or has to be.)
People like to talk about themselves. Just ask questions and act interested in the answers, and they will think you're a wonderful conversationalist, even tho you haven't really said anything!
Also, consider anti-depressants. They don't just "make you happy," they actually change your thinking to a more positive, it's-not-the-end-of-the-world mentality.
My best friend has the same problem. Over time, I've worked to get him to say small things like asking how people are, about their lives, etc. Everytime he'd say something rude, ignorant, or nastey, I'd elbow him-hard. Ask your girlfriend to do the same to you. Also, cue into what she's saying when she meets people, or talks to them. When she starts to ask about them, try to go along with what she's saying, etc.
first, stop feeling sorry for yourself; I felt bad that I didn't have any shoes until I saw someone with no foot; the past is gone ; today is here; you make new choices b/c you want to ; you help others , you search to do things to get out of your comfort zone and grow ; you hold the door for someone; buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you ; you compliment someone ; you recognize that you have the capacity for better ; we all do ; now talk is cheap ; actions speak loads ; bring a plant to a senior center just because; volunteer, help out in an animal shelter; raise money for a cause; if you don't tend a garden, you get weeds; you invest in yourself daily and in some time, you can surprise everyone including yourself; if you always do what you always did then you always get what you always got. Good Luck and share yourself with the world.
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