Bipolar disorder? I am in need of direction...?
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I hear you and I totally understand. I've had bipolar 2 since early childhood (I'm now 31) and it is a very rough road. I'm sorry to hear your husband walked away. Do you have a support system in place (friends, family...people you can really turn to when you need someone)? Do you like your therapist? Your doctor? Do you click with them (especially therapist)? That can make a big difference.
I've been on 19 different meds in I have no clue how many combinations...but I've learned a lot about them over the years. Keep trying...you will hit on the right combination. In each class of meds there is no telling what will or won't work without trying. For instance, one SSRI (ex: paxil) may not work at all and another in the same class (SSRI's ex: prozac) may work wonders. It's very individualized what works for each person. I know it is easy to get discouraged and feel like it is hopeless. But don't give up! There are many, many meds out there...it's just a matter of finding what works best with the fewest side effects.
It won't (most likely) get rid of all the symptoms entirely...but it will level things out a lot...lessen the frequency, intensity and duration of episodes. If you want to talk more about this, email me. I might be able to help you figure it out a little bit. I'm not a doctor or anything (although I am a psychology student with a strong interest in psychobiology), but the past 5 years of my life have been the first time I have had the bp under control and my world has really revolved around getting and staying well. What helped me the most...therapy-wise...was DBT. It had a dramatic impact on me. My current med combo seems to be working well enough that other people are commenting on it and noticing improvements that I didn't realize were happening. I'm on Wellbutrin XL, Seroquel, lorazopam and - most recently added - Lamictal.
It's not perfect, I still have to deal with having this and make an effort to maintain balance (eat and sleep right, get exercise...stuff like that) and there are still very bad times.
When the meds start controlling the symptoms...that's when therapy can really start to help...and it gets easier to cope with the symptoms because you aren't completely overwhelmed by them non-stop.
Lamictal isn't an upper exactly. It's a mood stabilizer that has been proving to be very useful in treating bipolar 2 and has some antidepressant qualities. Abilify is an antipsychotic...not necessarily a downer (it made me excessively restless but it makes some really tired. I think it's the least sedating med in its class, but not 100% sure on that.) Sometimes the antipsychotics have a mood stabilizing effect.
Are you bp 1, 2 or NOS? What are you worst symptoms? What meds have you tried? What seemed to work or definitely didn't?
Also, I recently found this website . well it's a pdf file from a website...it's probably the most helpful guide to recovery that I've ever found online. It's defintiely worth checking out.
http://www.dbsalliance.org/pdfs/nextstep...
Again, if you would like to talk, email me. I know it sounds kind of crazy, but this is kind of my thing...I have a bunch of links to resources. I'm also in the process of writing a paper on the biological/genetic aspects of bipolar disorder...so I've been reading tons of professional journal articles on the subject. At the very least, I've found it incredibly helpful to connect with people who really 'get it'. For me, the internet has been a lifeline...there are some really great email support groups (and some not so great)...I have terrible social anxiety so the in person groups have not been very helpful for me...except the DBT...but that was in a partial hospitalization program that was amazing. Do you have anything like that around you? I've never been inpatient, but bordered on it many times. Almost everyone else at Partial had been inpatient and most of them said the partial program helped them much more than inpatient ever did.
Just know, you are not alone in this. Having bpd can feel very isolating, in my experience. There is hope though...know that, ok?
Oh, my heart goes out to you. Just pray and ask God to give the doctors direction. I know exactly how you are feeling and it is so hard to cope with this disease. I was on abilify and this helped me. Don't give up, help will come. I know that is easy to say when we are not dealing with your situation personally. I am so sorry for all your pain and suffering. I will be praying for you.
I also suffer from Bipolar Disorder. I'm young but I understand what you are going through. I've been going to therapy for 2 years now. What you have to do, even if it seems harder than hell, it duke it out, cause if you don't then you have let 'them' win. Things will get better, somehow they always do. My advice might seem a little mainstream but, I hope it'll help you. You are as strong as you want to be.
There is always hope. I agree that if your doctor is asking you about what to do there is a problem. I'm sorry that you are alone at this point. If you would like to have a friend to talk to or yell at I'm here if you would like. Don't give up. Just try to relax a focus on being you.
Wow, I am sorry. It seems that I have been living the exact same life. I too have been batteling this now for 15 years, been hospitalized, been to psychiatrist and psychologists...blagh, blagh, blagh. It took a long time for me to find a right medication and now I am finally on a good combo, I think - lamictal (mood stabilizer), zoloft (anti depressant) and seroquel (sedative). It is a huge struggle every single day but you have to do it, there is no other choice. I have been thinking about taking another direction which you might consider - spiritual healing/spiritual advisor? You have to try all different avenues.
It also sounds like you need a new Doctor. Good luck. Please feel open to email me at any time csimmons111379@hotmail.com
My mother (age 48) has been diagnosed with Bi-Polar since she was a teenager and it took years for the right medication to be found, shes been in hospital many times but 10 yrs ago they had found the perfect dose of medication for her and she had stayed stable for a full 10 yrs till something emotional happened and she stressed out but it took roughly 20 yrs to find what worked for herand what dose was right.
If you want some suggestions to help you out you could use what the doctors prescribe and some relaxation methods to help keep you calm/relaxed because as you know its a chemical imbalance and your emotions can help alter it like when something bad happens you may end up gettin ill (like my mother does when somethin strongly emotional happens).
There's always help and always hope, keep your spirits high. There is no quick cure but there is always a way to help keep your bipolar under control. Never give up, stay strong and believe that something will happen to help you because theres hope for everyone.
Hope this helped in one way or another.
Much Love and Hope for you
Don't give up hope!! There are answers out there. I've been Bi-Polar for about the same amount of time. My wife is leaving me as well. and the disease is wicked bad.But for the most part I'm stable It's not going to be easy but don't give up. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Just keep trying different combinations until they get it right And take care of yourself Abilify is an anti-psychotic. it's what I take and it has helped me. You can e-mail me as well at robkelli@sbcglobal.net
I have been recently diagnosed as bipolar, but has been suspected for years. I understand what you're going through. I myself am on Xanex, Seroquil, and recently started taking Ambify. Have you considered asking for information regarding a bipolar support group in your area? My doctor is getting info for me because I am sick and tired of all the meds ( I recently had toxicity from lithium) with no relief from the manic episodes and feel that it will help to talk to those that are in the same boat I feel that I am floating in alone. I wish you the best of luck.
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