How can I truly recover from the negativity/shame of my past and find inner peace? Please help.?
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You must first forgive yourself then work to make your life more like you want it to be. I too have troubles trusting others. I have found that I must trust myself to make good judgments and follow through. I also have found that accepting Jesus as my Savior and putting all my trust in God gives me inner peace and happiness. God has also helped me get rid of the shames of my past and through the reading of the Bible, He has helped me begin life anew. If you want to know more about this, please feel free to email me immediately and I would love to share in finding a true inner peace with you. Whatever you have done in the past, it is now history. Whatever you might plan to do tomorrow cannot be counted upon because tomorrow may never come. Only what you can do right now is the important thing to remember. Now is where you begin and when you begin. Stop keeping things inside until you blow up. Start when the problem starts by gently, but bluntly stating out loud that it troubles you and why. Finesse will only come with practice. The accomplishments you have made with your education and career say you already deserve kudos of praise. Now forgive yourself for the past, hold your head up high, thank God for giving you another day of living, and live! We all have things we have done we are not proud of. We just leave that behind and don't share them with anyone else. Don't let certain discrepancies hinder your life from moving on to better things! These issues ARE keeping you from having inner happiness and you MUST put them behind you! Now it is a matter of simply getting it done, like homework or a chore. I have found that prayer and meditation helps me. All you do when you pray is talk to God as you would a friend or your father. Try it! What have you got to lose? And you have so much to gain=) I will also pray for you to find peace of mind and to find the knowledge needed to find your way to that peace of mind. But you must do the rest! Now go and get started right away! GO! Shoo! Shoo!
read the book The Secret or watch the DVD. Im SURE it will help!
You dont need to ask this you really just need to forgive yourself for everything you regret and just let it go. Love those around you and forgive those from your past. Try walking around the block early in the morning to relax your self.
Dont let others get to you and open your mind to everything.
Never shut it never let anyone tell you other wise even at an older age. You were once a little kid and must remember those times.
You have to change your negative thought processes. You are in a constant loop. Break the cycle.
Forgive those that have hurt you. They might have had their own issues to deal with at that time or were just plain idiots. When you forgive, it's a very freeing feeling.
Being isolated or not is a choice you make.
Ask why are you estranged from your family. Do you want to reconnect? If so, take the first step today and do not wait for them to contact you. Life is too short to wait and see.
How do you see yourself that you think this new man will not like what he sees when he gets to know you? Ask yourself this.
There is always ways to change. Life is ever changing and so are we. It begins in the mind. Changing your thoughts. Redirecting them to the things you want to see about yourself and life.
learn deep breathing excersises and yoga.
breath in love slowly to the count of four - filling the bottom 1/4 of your lungs.
exhale fear thru your mouth to the count of four.
hold each inhale one sec
hold each exhale one sec.
build a little alter of things that man something to you - doesn't need to be religous - light a candle deep breath and relax - do some stretches - get out 1/2 hr a day and walk, ride a bike, swim - whatever you enjoy.
when a negitive thought enters your mind - say cancel cancel cancel three times - it is called displacement - can't say cancel and think of something else at the same time.
waiting for things to change w/o contributing to change just does not work well maybe it does - but not for me.
If you've been depressed for years, it's gonna take some time to turn things around. Counseling or meds might be really helpful- I wouldn't reject them without thinking seriously about it. A good counselor can help you learn new, more positive ways to think. And/or they can help you process trauma from your past, and become free of it. Meds can help your body get out of a bad cycle, and free you to learn new ways to be.
This may sound very minor, but I've found it quite helpful- every day think of three (or more) good things that happened to you. They don't have to be anything big at all- could be something really simple, like "I enjoyed my lunch." Then think about what you did that helped that good thing be possible. Like: "I made a good stir-fry." or "I hunted around until I found a good restaurant." or "I stopped and took the time to enjoy it."
Over time, that adds up. It does a whole bunch of different things- it makes you aware that good things are happening in your life, and helps you appreciate them. And it helps you recognize how you can make your life better, so you feel more empowered, and you learn specific things that make you feel better.
Anything you can do to replace negative thoughts about yourself with more positive ones is very helpful. I've heard, and agree that the thoughts have to be ones that you can believe. For instance, if you find yourself thinking "I always screw things up," make a list of things you've done well. Or think "Wow, I'm feeling bad right now, but that feeling will pass. And feeling bad doesn't mean I'm bound to screw up."
Aaron Beck wrote a book about depression that has a lot of these techniques in it- you might want to look it up.
Good luck!
I suggest that you find some one that you can talk to. Have you ever thought about keeping a journal? There are alot of therapist that you could choose from. I know what it is like to walk around like a dressed garbage can. Ask yourself this question:Have you ever seen anyone steering a car from the outside? The answer is no. One would have to be inside the car to drive and go forward. Once on the inside of the car you can't drive forward if you only look through the rearview mirror. Your past is just that PAST. We are as sick as our secrets. I am willing to bet that the secrets (all the stuff you choose to hold on to) are childhood wounds that you had no control of. It's painful to hold on to "stuff" it weighs you down. Ask yourself "What can I do to change ME".Don't worry about saving your outward appearance, try saving your life. Holding on to your past can cost you your future.Not trusting is sometimes like building a wall, you won't let others (that could an asset to your life ) in and you can't get out. From what I read about you , you have a great future ahead of you if you start looking at life through the windshield. Don't get me wrong it's okay to glance back at your past every now and then, but don't live in it, learn from it and move on. I suggested keeping a journal because we as humans tend to forget, stuff, and overlook things that need to be addressed. You are too intelligent to let things that you can't change rob you of a promising future that you have worked so hard for in other areas of your life. Be honest with whomever you choose to work with in your recovery. WISHING YOU WELL.
What happened is. your experiences conditioned in you a resistance to what was happening, and you carried this conditioning into life in general.
Peace and happiness that is already here, has been obscured by your seeking for it elsewhere. You want to regain some point where you had it, not noticing it has been here always.
You think a lot about what you have, don't have yet, but want, or have but don't want. All seeking for something other than what is, basically rejecting what you seek in favor of finding it elsewhere .
All this thinking is obscuring the present moment, where happiness is. You've drifted into resistance and non acceptance of what is.
Stop your seeking.
Embrace what is.
Experience being here.
You need to forget about the past and not think about the future - you need to live in the present. Meditation will help you to achieve the inner peace you are looking for and help you to live in the present - it will also help you to become more detached so you don't worry about things so much. Check out this website - they have a great online meditation tutorial and info. on meditation classes near you - meditation classes are always free. I have been practicising this type of meditation for a few years now - It's had an incredibly positive effect on my life - I can't say enough good things about it - truly amazing. http://www.chicagoyoga.org/ and http://www.sahajayoga.org/
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