Help!!?? why am i so destructive? was it right for my parents to give the doctor my diary?

Question:

Sunday night i was admitted to meridell psychiatric facility, by my parents ( yes,i am allowed on the internet), for suicidal tendecies, hallucinations, destructive episodes and PTSD. well since i have been here, i cry, scream, shout, refuse to eat and take my meds( i have to take them though), my parents told me to give my diary to my psychiatrist over the phone, my parents had already given him permission to read it, i was angry i didn't want him to read it ! that diary has all of my feelings inside of it, everything, it even has plans for suicide that i had planned before being admitted, well we had a long horrible talk about it and the destructive episodes i was having , and he wanted me to move to the room across from the nurses office. what did i do wrong? it isn't like i had a plan to kill myself that very moment.
why do i have these episodes when i am violent and impulsive, like screaming and shouting and things like that? is it normal? i really didn't want to ask my doctor.

Answers:
Ok, look..NO hard feelings, I wish I had been in the treatment facilty you are.

Just some experience and words of advice from someone who has been in the hospital ALOT of times. Your best bet at getting better and feeling like you are on your way to getting better is to (1) be honest with all your doctors and nurses about EVERYTHING and (2) interact with the other people that are there, and (3) take your medications as prescribed. (All the times I have been, there is no choice ~ you stand by the nurse and she watches you take them, but your place is different I guess)

Sometimes when I went to the hospital I was scared. One time I even cried I was so scared. At first I did not talk to anyone and just sat by myself. I was hallucinating very badly and was scared of everyone. But I told my doctors and nurses what was happening to me. Then they gave me the right medicines. Then I started to talk to the other patients and I even made some friends.

I think the other patients helped me get better the most. They were there for support.

Group therapy is hard. But try and support the other girls during therapy and then when you get the strength, try and talk about your issues. They will support you too. Everyone is there to get helped.

I hated being in the hospital everytime I had to go. BUT everytime I got out, I felt so much better.

You will get better too.

It is NOT normal, and you are definitely in the right place. As awkward as it seems you should talk to your doctor; he can help. He wants to help and he has the expertise to get your life back on track. Try not to think of his concern as an invasion of your feelings, but rather a stepping stone to a life in which you never think about crying, shouting, refusin to eat, etc. to get attention, and can deal with your problems as they come.

I am sure your parents love you very much and just want you to be happy and content in your life. Sometimes hormone issues can cause extreme emotional swings, sometimes chemical issues in the brain itself can cause them. Everyone just wants you well and truly happy and content and full of peace. You didn't do anything wrong. You just need help.And that's ok. Let them help you. Let them help you to be happier and less stressed out and upset. (((hugs))) You get well soon. And try to understand your parents love you and just want the best for you.

i don't think you should kill yourself. listen to the doctors, your parent's shouldn't have read your diary.

Sound's like you'r parents smother you and are too controlling. Maybe a job and move out might help?

Good luck to you.

My original answer to this was going to come off sounding rude and mean. But, I'll try to soften it up.
When you write out plans for suicide...you have no room to gripe if someone reads them and assumes you want to kill yourself. If it is a secret thought...KEEP IT A FRIGGIN SECRET...don't write it down. Keeping a diary that some one else has access to is like a criminal who wants to get caught. The only people who gripe about being in an institution that is there to help them are the ones who probably don't need to be in there but they faked some things for attention and unintentionally ended up in that place. sort of like bitting off more than you can chew. so, if you don't need to be there...just do your "time" and go home. take a chill pill

Say yes to what is or choose to act like you are now. it all seems very pointless to me to scream and shout.

Stop resisting life.

I just had a thought.

You are behaving exactly the way they expect you to.

If you are doing something that is not working for you, you need to do something different.

So try this.

Ask them for help. Ask them to explain to you what tools and techniques they use to help people get out of the facility.

Then you will know exactly what to do when you leave. You can become your own therapist.

Ask them how they expect you to behave to get out of the facility. Then give it to them.

You can act can't you?

You will have to do the same when you get home too.

Read some of my articles.
http://themeaningisyou.com

take your meds. atleast try them for one month. give it a chance. they might help. your parents are trying to help you I dont know your whole story but do take your meds.

is it normal, NOT !!!!

You can't undo the past, but ther's a reason I don't really keep a diary.

If you're suisidal and violent, I say(now, don't get mad) he should have... he only want's to help you. You really need help.

Help!!?? why am i so destructive? was it right for my parents to give the doctor my diary?

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